general anxiety disorder ruined my life

[pepperspray]

My doctor just diagnosed me with that disorder, which ruined most of my life. Anything and everything triggers it, even practically nothing. I never been able to shake off my worries and I go into a panic attack. My heart rate into the 100's and shallow breathing, etc. In fact, that's what interfered with my job performance in the past.

My first job was at Goody's. I did well there and my supervisor gave me a good reference when the store closed. I had high level of anxiety then, but the job was laid back and I didn't have many hours. Fast forward to Wal-Mart. The job was really fast paced and I had 33 hours a week. My performance reiview wasn't as good as I had hoped, just "adequete" so I panicked. When my coworker wrongly blamed me for the cart of returns that didn't get put away, I got angry bc I panicked. If coworker could wrongly blame me, then so could management. I guess I got myself canned to relieve any additional anxiety.

Then at McD's, it was fast paced and I also got shitload of hours. Almost every day, something makes me worried disproportionate to the situation at hand. I always had to go there and check if anything "bad" had happened even on my days off. Then one day, when they called and said they weren't busy and they ain't need me that day, I worried it was cuz of the discount meal I almost took home the day before. I panicked, so I went down there to apologize but I screamed it out.

What am I to do? How could I go on like this?

[WhyNick]

There is light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a train rushing towards you. By joining this forum and looking for help, you have shown that you are not beaten. I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for nearly fifteen years. It cost me at least two jobs, I even moved town for a new start. I eventually used a self help programme to finally sort out my anxiety. I have now been anxiety free, panic attack free and happy for over two years. It can be done, but I know that there were times when I dispaired of ever being normal again. Read some of the posts. You are not alone and you can beat this.

[ck9]

I'm sure I understand. I had to quit the best job I ever had because of anxiety. I have not felt the same since. Now I work p/t from home but it is lonely and I still have the anxiety. I worry every day practically all day and I hate it. Are you working now? I know it is very hard especially in a fast paced environment. I am scared right now. It is debilitating. I hate it so much. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time but you are not alone.

[pepperspray]

There is light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a train rushing towards you. By joining this forum and looking for help, you have shown that you are not beaten. I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for nearly fifteen years. It cost me at least two jobs, I even moved town for a new start. I eventually used a self help programme to finally sort out my anxiety. I have now been anxiety free, panic attack free and happy for over two years. It can be done, but I know that there were times when I dispaired of ever being normal again. Read some of the posts. You are not alone and you can beat this.

How specifically did you lose those jobs? For me, whenever I even made a tiny mistake that everyone makes at a job, I worry like hell. They don't. Then I would go anhd check with management, "Did anyone call on me? Am I in trouble?" For instance, I missed a spot on the table I'm wiping off at McD's and then I panic that I'll get my hours cut. Anyway, my manager eventually got tired of it. Then I'm out.