Will I have this for the rest of my life?

[Nadia A]

Hi everyone, I have been feeling ill for a year and a half now and 5 months ago I was told I have Social anxiey disorder and depression. I have also had a lot of panic attacks. what I want to know is will I have this for the rst of my life? I am on meds, seeing a doctor and psychologist but no-one is giving me a straight answer to the question! I'v been off work 4 months now and am terrified about going back, even thinking about going back.

Help! NA

[Nadia A]

Hi, thank you for taking time to answer my post, NA

[Beachgirl]

Nadia read the CBT book called "Been there, Done that? DO This!" by sam obitz (www.tao3.com (http://www.tao3.com)). It was written by a guy that suffered through anxiety and panic for many years before finding a cure with CBT. It is a short book and very encouraging. You can get over this and on with your life! It has helped me immensely and I still use the TEA form exercise from that book for a few minutes each day. Hang in there :D

[wendyb45]

I think it is up to you. If you work hard enough you will get rid of it. There are plenty of ex depression and anxiety sufferers, you just have to believe in yourself.

:)

[Robbed]

you just have to believe in yourself.

:)

And you know what? This has to be one of the most difficult things in the world to do. Especially when there is not much there to believe in beyond a string of failures throughout your life.

[Beachgirl]

I think it is up to you. If you work hard enough you will get rid of it. There are plenty of ex depression and anxiety sufferers, you just have to believe in yourself.

:)

That's what has happened to me.

Happy new year Robbed. I sincerely hope this is the year things turn around for you. You deserve it :)

[innerchanges]

Hi everyone, I have been feeling ill for a year and a half now and 5 months ago I was told I have Social anxiey disorder and depression. I have also had a lot of panic attacks. what I want to know is will I have this for the rst of my life? I am on meds, seeing a doctor and psychologist but no-one is giving me a straight answer to the question! I'v been off work 4 months now and am terrified about going back, even thinking about going back.

Help! NA

Hi Nadia

It may feel like you will never overcome the anxiety but if you keep working at changing your thoughts and reactions, even just a little bit each day, you'll be surprised at how quickly you can put the anxiety behind you and be back on track with your life. What we focus on tends to get magnified in our mind, what we don't focus on tends to get diminished or ignored. So it is very important to focus on the positives. When looking back over the past, focus on and congratulate yourself for any positive progress you've made no matter how slight. This will require repetition and daily practice for it to become habitual.

[Beachgirl]

Excellent advice innerchanges!!! I hope you listen to what he had to say Nadia :)

[Robbed]

Happy new year Robbed. I sincerely hope this is the year things turn around for you. You deserve it :)

I don't think that's going to happen. Although I have lately been OKAY lately from an anxiety disorder point of view, life continues to get the better of me. And it's not like recovery from the worst of anxiety disorder has magically given me the skills I need to deal with my ongoing personal problems.

[Link]

Keep working at slowly stretching your comfort zone, one bit at a time. At the same time, work on your mindset, do whatever you can to train your brain to think in a certain way. Be persistant and it will become habit. If you continue to take action, you can overcome social anxiety and depression. I use to have severe social anxiety for 16 years... not anymore. I also had depression.

[Beachgirl]

I don't think that's going to happen. Although I have lately been OKAY lately from an anxiety disorder point of view, life continues to get the better of me. And it's not like recovery from the worst of anxiety disorder has magically given me the skills I need to deal with my ongoing personal problems.

I'm encouraged that your anxiety probs are better recently. I'm sorry to hear that other aspects of your life are not doing as well. As you could probably guess I really like Links advice and I am rooting for you. You are a great guy and deserve all life has to offer :)

[Beachgirl]

Keep working at slowly stretching your comfort zone, one bit at a time. At the same time, work on your mindset, do whatever you can to train your brain to think in a certain way. Be persistant and it will become habit. If you continue to take action, you can overcome social anxiety and depression. I use to have severe social anxiety for 16 years... not anymore. I also had depression.

Wow 16-years that's awesome!!! I have experienced a similar recovery over the last several years but nice to hear you have been feeling better for that long using similar means. Thanks for sharing and welcome here :)

[Robbed]

You are a great guy and deserve all life has to offer :)

I'm just curious. Why do you say that I am a 'great guy' and deserve 'all life has to offer'? I just don't feel this way about myself. And regardless of how hard I try, I CAN'T. Are you just able to say this about me because you are an outsider who will probably never meet me (and can therefore say whatever you want, regardless of whether it is true)? Or is there something that I am just not capable of seeing about myself? Trying to see myself as a worthwhile human being is something I have struggled with literally for DECADES. Trying to see myself as a person who others find desirable is even HARDER for me. Sometimes (wait, make that pretty much always), I look at this last bit as an unwinnable war. Lasting peace in the Middle East seems EASY in comparison.

[jimmy2shoes]

Robbed, there is a reason for your self doubt, and low self esteem. From my understanding of you, you are a thinker. Most anxiety sufferers are 'thinkers' by which I mean we question the functionings of the world - why something is so, how it came to that point and what this means to us.
But just because you are a thinker, it doesn't mean we can solve our problems through thinking alone. Often, our own thinking is tainted with irrationalities - insecurities, that have embedded themselves over an extender period of time (years and years).
For example, I dont know you very well, but i know you want to be a good person, and you THINK you are a good person, but this good nature of yours has not been validated in the way that you are satisfied. By this I mean, when another post calls you a good person, and you deserve a good life, you as a thinker - naturally question the evidence that she has to call you a good person. And, considering the limited availibity of your personality, and her/his lack of understanding of 'you', you disregard the comment, and become frustrated with the functionings of the world, and inturn yourself.
I think you fail to recognize that this person, who visits these forums regularly, has the choice to say you are a good person or your not - a personal opinion that she has about someone she doesn't know. But she knows enough of you to share her opinion, which considering the circumstances is a positive thing, rather than a negative thing about who you are. And no, it is unlikely that you will build your self-worth (which seems to be the main issue) through a forum, but by all means it is a very good start. We have no reason to hide or deceive who we are on these forums.
Generally speaking our confidence revolves around experiences - from when we are a child to our adult life. These experience either reinforce or contradict the beliefs we have about ourself and the world. It is more often than not, that negative experiences reinforce the negative beliefs - and create a bias toward future experiences. For example, a mother/father that never appreciates or acknowledges their childs successes, or fails to show enough love, will leave the child feeling 'worthless.' The child grows up, finding difficulty to connect with people, and differences are illuminated - reinforcing that they are not a worthy friend, or part of the society that they live in.
However - the reality, is that they are just like everyone else, with different tastes in clothes, music, and other trivial things. Self worth is almost a skill, just like positive thinking. It is unfortunate that 90% of the average persons self-worth revolves around external reception - e.g Whether this persons likes me or not, whether this person thinks im a good person, am I accepted here.
Because humans NEED validation of their good qualities - you can imagine why low self esteem is so common amongst the entire population. Not everyone is always validated, and hence their beliefs remain negative.
Sooner or later, you will have to recognize that you are who you are, and you have a choice to TRY be a good person, or not. If you are ok with NOT trying, then so be it. However, I do not believe this is your case. You are here, giving advice to anxiety rookies, helping out those are suffering.
I think that as long as you are trying, just one good deed a day, then you should really give yourself a pat on the back. Because I think a scary amount of people in this world ARNT trying to be good people - and these people are the ones JUDGING you, despite their lack of effort to improve themselves as a human being. And, with bad belief systems, the low self worth is again - reinforced - by a group of people who have no right to do such a thing.
I think you should see someone to talk to if you don't already - because your belief systems are somewhat irrational or blown out of proportion. We are thinkers, however our past experiences define the attidudes we have. and our attitudes are what determine our thoughts. You cannot change thoughts without a change in attitude.
I just think this is something worth thinking about. I hope some of this helps you.
Cheers

[Robbed]

I think you should see someone to talk to if you don't already - because your belief systems are somewhat irrational or blown out of proportion.

By 'seeing someone to talk to', do you by chance mean seeing a therapist? Actually, I've been there and done that. And let me just say that I felt rather underwhelmed with the whole experience. It left me with ANYTHING BUT increased confidence and a feeling of empowerment. Not to mention a drained wallet. Yes, there may be some good therapists out there. But how long would it take me to find that person? Not to mention that I REALLY don't have that kind of money.

[Beachgirl]

I'm just curious. Why do you say that I am a 'great guy' and deserve 'all life has to offer'? I just don't feel this way about myself. And regardless of how hard I try, I CAN'T. Are you just able to say this about me because you are an outsider who will probably never meet me (and can therefore say whatever you want, regardless of whether it is true)? Or is there something that I am just not capable of seeing about myself? Trying to see myself as a worthwhile human being is something I have struggled with literally for DECADES. Trying to see myself as a person who others find desirable is even HARDER for me. Sometimes (wait, make that pretty much always), I look at this last bit as an unwinnable war. Lasting peace in the Middle East seems EASY in comparison.

Robbed I really like all that jimmy had to say i his reply to you... and I totally can relate to wasting money on bad therapists as I've been there too. I really wish you could find a good cbt program at a local university in your area as they often offer them for reduced fee or even free as part of their research. I think you make a similar mistake I used to make that made me miserable.... That being that you minimize all your accomplishments like you are looking through them from the wrong end of the binoculars and you blow up all your faults and failures and look at them through the right end of the binoculars. It's a bad habit that can be broken. I heard a great quote quote the other day "life if 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it." That is why there are so many poor or struggling people who are content and so many rich and famous people who are miserable.
I suspect you treat your friends a lot better then you treat yourself and that's a shame if true. I think you have a lot to offer and really do believe you can be happy and fulfilled.

Having said that let me reply directly to the meat of what you were asking me. I admit the odds of us ever meeting in person are remote, but we have exchanged notes here (some on a pretty personal level) and through those notes I have grown to like you :) Like jimmy said most people do not even try very hard to be worthwhile human beings and just your efforts here show you to be a caring human being who wants to not only improve yourself but help others as well. Those are both admirable qualities.
Jimmy wrote you a really thoughtful and caring reply and you focussed your reply on just one small portion of it. I want you to spend more time on the parts that are half full and less on the half empty parts and I think you will feel better and more encouraged.

I hope some of this helps. You REALLY DO COME ACROSS WELL HERE and look at my posts history and I doubt you'll find me complimenting people without good reason. I wish I could give you a shot of confidence because once you start believing in yourself you will be a great catch for some lucky girl :)

[Beachgirl]

Robbed,

Check your inbox :)

[bigcat1967]

You will have this the rest of your life - you basically have to face your fears. Keep on expanding outside your comfort zone. :)

[Beachgirl]

You will have this the rest of your life - you basically have to face your fears. Keep on expanding outside your comfort zone. :)

Excellent post bigcat :)

[squirt]

Nadia read the CBT book called "Been there, Done that? DO This!" by sam obitz (www.tao3.com (http://www.tao3.com)). It was written by a guy that suffered through anxiety and panic for many years before finding a cure with CBT. It is a short book and very encouraging. You can get over this and on with your life! It has helped me immensely and I still use the TEA form exercise from that book for a few minutes each day. Hang in there :D

Great advice as the TEA forms are what worked for me as well.

I really need to work on my math skills though as I had to think to answer the spam guard question correctly on this one LOL.

[Bez]

I just bought the book. I will try anything. TM, books, etc. Need to get over my anxiety and get my life back.

Hope the book helps.

Bryan

[trackstar]

I just bought the book. I will try anything. TM, books, etc. Need to get over my anxiety and get my life back.

Hope the book helps.

Bryan

Hi Bryan,

I think it will if you put some effort in. Using the TEA forms from that book have totally turned my life around. In fact I still spend a few minutes each morning doing them to help make sure my days get off to a good start. Just make sure you fight through the early struggles with them as they get easier to do with practice and you get better at catching the thoughts that cause your problems and once you get to that point I think you'll start to see progress that shocks you like I did :)

[JoeMagaro]

Hey Nadia,

Speaking as someone who used to have severe anxiety I think two things are the most important. First, set attainable goals for yourself every day. Second, stay committed to the process. It is very uneven. There is no magical "Aha" moment when you are suddenly free from all anxiety.

You can make great strides in a relatively short period of time. Just don't give yourself any "days off."

Best.

Joe.

[fallingthin]

It depends. Depression has to do with a chemical imbalance in the brain if it is chronic it may likely stick around and be hard to get rid of. I believe you can get rid of it though. Once you deal with the issues cause your illness then you should be able to return to normal, but I am not a doctor.

[Beachgirl]

Hey Nadia,

Speaking as someone who used to have severe anxiety I think two things are the most important. First, set attainable goals for yourself every day. Second, stay committed to the process. It is very uneven. There is no magical "Aha" moment when you are suddenly free from all anxiety.

You can make great strides in a relatively short period of time. Just don't give yourself any "days off."

Best.

Joe.

Good points Joe :)

[Beachgirl]

Hi Bryan,

I think it will if you put some effort in. Using the TEA forms from that book have totally turned my life around. In fact I still spend a few minutes each morning doing them to help make sure my days get off to a good start. Just make sure you fight through the early struggles with them as they get easier to do with practice and you get better at catching the thoughts that cause your problems and once you get to that point I think you'll start to see progress that shocks you like I did :)

Well said.... How about an update Bryan? Hope you are having success similar to mine with them :)

[trackstar]

I'd love to hear an update too Bryan :)

[Beachgirl]

Good to see you trackstar! How's everything in your life?

[Anxiety beater]

Hi Nadia - anxiety and depression are both entirely curable. One of the things to remember is that you are bigger than your anxiety and your depression - these are giving you dreadful feelings just now, but you are greater than them - and don't start thinking that anxiety and depression are an intrinsic part of you - they are NOT! Try to avoid saying things like 'I am depressed' or 'I am anxious' - turn that around a bit and say something like 'I have anxious or depressive feelings right now' - that can help you stop identifying with your anxiety and depression. Feelings of anxiety and depression come and go - it may not feel like it at the moment, but they WILL go. I'm sorry to hear you're so ill you've been off work for so long - it will really help you if you can get support to start thinking about going back to work as soon as you can, even if it's just slowly, maybe part-time at first - I say that because work is one of the greatest therapies for both anxiety and depression, it helps occupy your mind and can boost your self-esteem and confidence. While you're off work, it would be good to try to find things to occupy yourself, ideally something creative, something you can really get immersed in - that can help to relax your mind and get your thoughts off your anxieties. Don't give up hope - and don't let anyone 'label' you as and 'anxious person' or a 'depressive' - your are much more than that. I wish you well.

[Beachgirl]

Good advice anxiety beater :)

[squirt]

Hi Bryan,

I think it will if you put some effort in. Using the TEA forms from that book have totally turned my life around. In fact I still spend a few minutes each morning doing them to help make sure my days get off to a good start. Just make sure you fight through the early struggles with them as they get easier to do with practice and you get better at catching the thoughts that cause your problems and once you get to that point I think you'll start to see progress that shocks you like I did :)

Good advice trackstar. My life is 250% better since I started using the TEA forms.

Bryan how are you doing? I hope you are having success with them and feeling back in charge of your life again :)

[Beachgirl]

Good advice trackstar. My life is 250% better since I started using the TEA forms.

Bryan how are you doing? I hope you are having success with them and feeling back in charge of your life again :)

Same here or more lol!

[Weekday crazy]

Relaxation has helped me alot.
But I think it the anxiety is almost a part of me - like I would miss it if it left?

[angelk01]

Yeah i think social anxiety is something you can try to work on over time. It is very difficult sometimes relating to others so just try your best and gradually try to do a little at a time and every time you achieve your goals your confidence will increase. xxx

[Beachgirl]

Relaxation has helped me alot.
But I think it the anxiety is almost a part of me - like I would miss it if it left?

I can guarantee you won't miss it at all :)

[Beachgirl]

Yeah i think social anxiety is something you can try to work on over time. It is very difficult sometimes relating to others so just try your best and gradually try to do a little at a time and every time you achieve your goals your confidence will increase. xxx

good advice

[trackstar]

Good advice trackstar. My life is 250% better since I started using the TEA forms.

Bryan how are you doing? I hope you are having success with them and feeling back in charge of your life again :)

Thanks Squirt! I'm doing better than ever and still doing the TEA forms most everyday. Happy New Year!

[nowglad]

I have heard a major positive response to the TEA forms here. They have certainly caught my attention. Can you tell me more about it?

[Beachgirl]

I have heard a major positive response to the TEA forms here. They have certainly caught my attention. Can you tell me more about it?

TEA forms are the thought countering exercise in the book called Been there, Done that? DO This! by Sam Obitz www.tao3.com
All you need is a piece of paper and a pen (I do mine in spiral notebooks fwiw) to do them. It the basis of CBT where you learn to rewire the way your brain reacts to stimuli so that it no longer causes you anxiety. You start by catching the thoughts that cause your anxiety and write them down. Then you find all the common thinking errors that cause anxiety in that thought and then you counter that thought in an objective and usually less upsetting way than you currently process things. If you do them daily they will rewire your brain so that the new ways of processing your thoughts become automatic and keep most anxiety from ever being experienced. They have been a lifesaver for me and totally given me my life back. I think they need to teach the TEA form exercise in every high school health class in the country.

[trackstar]

TEA forms are the thought countering exercise in the book called Been there, Done that? DO This! by Sam Obitz www.tao3.com
All you need is a piece of paper and a pen (I do mine in spiral notebooks fwiw) to do them. It the basis of CBT where you learn to rewire the way your brain reacts to stimuli so that it no longer causes you anxiety. You start by catching the thoughts that cause your anxiety and write them down. Then you find all the common thinking errors that cause anxiety in that thought and then you counter that thought in an objective and usually less upsetting way than you currently process things. If you do them daily they will rewire your brain so that the new ways of processing your thoughts become automatic and keep most anxiety from ever being experienced. They have been a lifesaver for me and totally given me my life back. I think they need to teach the TEA form exercise in every high school health class in the country.

Great advice Beachgirl as usual. I would just add that you get out of your TEA forms what you put into them. No magic to them, but if you work at them they'll work wonders for you!

[Beachgirl]

Great advice Beachgirl as usual. I would just add that you get out of your TEA forms what you put into them. No magic to them, but if you work at them they'll work wonders for you!

Thanks and you are right about that, and well worth the effort.

[AshleighSuzanne]

it feels like a never ending battle, but we must never give up. =] we can get through this.

[Notelets]

I had to have off work with anxiety and panic attacks. And i was having them for aaaages before I was diagnosed so I know what you're going through. Stuff that helps me is breathing exercises and taking time out of whatever I'm doing to forget about everything and just do summat I want to do, even if I have essay deadlines looming or summat, because it helps calm me down loads. Also if you're creative you can do stuff like collages or whatever because it helps you focus you're mind on something so you can get a break from the worry and help your mind relax :) I'm scared about going back to work too and thinking about it can make me panic but tbh I feel like im slowly becoming more confident and I honestly didn't think I would. So don't worry it will be okay :)

[squirt]

Thanks Squirt! I'm doing better than ever and still doing the TEA forms most everyday. Happy New Year!

Awesome to hear Trackstar!

[squirt]

I have heard a major positive response to the TEA forms here. They have certainly caught my attention. Can you tell me more about it?

I can't really top what Beachgirl said in reply to you, but I agree and would add that it is important to keep doing them a few minutes several times a week after you have gotten better.

[trackstar]

I love all the positive posts! With the right tools and effort everyone can get better!

[Beachgirl]

I love all the positive posts! With the right tools and effort everyone can get better!

This is very true as long as you couple the tools with the proper effort!

[LookingForward]

The way I have always looked at it is this: Anxiety is an illness and because it is an illness you have the potential to heal from it but it is also like a wound. It can heal but the scar will always be there. So you may go through periods where you have very little to no anxiety and then when something triggers it again the wound can reopen. I had anxiety as a child and then I healed and I didn't have anxiety for a good 15 years until stress/uncertainty after graduating from college triggered the wound to reopen. I have now suffered from it for the last 8 years. I have heard of very few people who heal 100% so there really is no clear answer. Everyone's situation is different. You may be in the very few percentage of people who miraculously heal and never suffer from it ever again:) A lot probably depends on the root of the anxiety. Keep talking things through with your psychologist and maybe a counselor as well to discover the root of it. I wish you all the best in your healing process!

[trackstar]

I agree Beach.
Looking forward, I hope you feel better soon and try CBT/TEA forms. I am still in touch with five people from the group I was in and all of them are still med-free and feeling great several years later. The proctor for our group says that is not unusual at all with CBT/TEA forms. He said over 90% of the people who dedicate themselves to the process never have a relapse and he's been doing this for over a decade now. Take care!

[Beachgirl]

I agree Beach.
Looking forward, I hope you feel better soon and try CBT/TEA forms. I am still in touch with five people from the group I was in and all of them are still med-free and feeling great several years later. The proctor for our group says that is not unusual at all with CBT/TEA forms. He said over 90% of the people who dedicate themselves to the process never have a relapse and he's been doing this for over a decade now. Take care!

Nice post. I like the 90% figure :)

[trackstar]

I'm just happy to be a part of the 90% :)

[Beachgirl]

I'm just happy to be a part of the 90% :)

I completely agree!

[trackstar]

I completely agree!

Happy Halloween Beachgirl!

[Beachgirl]

Happy Halloween Beachgirl!

Belated thx and I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. Can't believe the years almost over. Where does all the time go?

[Dogtime]

I can assure you if you can uncover the repressed emotions causing your issues the problem with dissolve. YES! In short you can overcome your issues!

[Jon Doe]

Sorry to give up your hopes, but most of the anxiety medication causes suicidal thoughts based on my experiences. There are others, but they don't work well. Drug makers aren't making anxiety medication, except the ones that cause me to try to kill myself and my doctor won't prescribe them to me anymore, but that's based on my own experience. You may react differently to those medications. I'm not say don't take any anxiety medication, but be aware of the side effects. You should see your psychologist & therapist.

[donuts123]

I honestly don’t now what the hell is happening to me, I don’t know if I have anxiety or am I going crazy, sorry If this is long but I feel that I need to say this. To start off with Im a guy and I am half way through year 8, I am originally from Canada and I have been moving my whole life. Me and my parents have travelled to many places and I have seen different cultures. The past months have been terrible, I have been scared of my friends, my school and my life in the future and the worst part is that I dont know why I am. I just started in this school at the beinning of the school year but I didn't know anyone, in fact, I lived in a completely different country. Before living in England, I lived on a really small island in the Caribbean called St. Kitts where I went to an extremely small school. My classroom was a mix of three different year groups (year 7,8 and 9). In total, there was 6 people that I was really good friends with. I made friends with lower and higher years too. I remember when I lived there that I was the class clown, i always had fun and was myself. My school was great, it made me smarter, it made me see the world as a better place and we did so many fun things such as snorkeling trips, boat trips, beach trips, water parks and zip lining. It honestly was a great life and I never ever worried about anything ( I guess thats why they call it island life). One of the unique things about the school was the relationship between students and teachers, we talked to them out of school like they were our friends, we also visited their houses many times. (Im sorry if already this is too long I just want to make sure I get every detail). Even though life was really different on St. Kitts, me and my friends still did the same things teenagers would do, use facebook, take pictures and go to the cinemas etc. (there was actually a really small cinema there). We never had to worry about dating, relationships and girl drama. Living on the island for two years has made me a better person and made me more like an adult (went to the supermarket myself all the time, call a taxi when i needed one and did what i want, with my parent's permission of course). When I got the news that we were moving to Barnsley (a city in South Yorkshire), I was happy to leave the island for some reason ( I regret it now). My dad told me I was going to go to a massive school where you dont stay in one classroom the whole day like I did. Which meant I would be in the same year with 300 other kids i didnt know, have a lesson plan and since its england, I get to wear a uniform! I thought it would be fun and I wasnt scared at all, in fact I was confident. This is when the bad luck started to happen. Three weeks before school, I started to think about random things such as what if I die from not being able to swallow food. Then suddenly during dinner, I wasn't able to swallow and I started to have panic attacks. I still wasnt scared for school so I didnt know what was happening. I told my parents and they said it was probably anxiety. We went to a GP and he said it was normal anxiety caused from the anticipation of moving from my small school in St. Kitts to this massive school in England. It turns out, I didnt have anxiety and it was this thing called gastro reflux. It soon faded away slowly right before school started. When I got to school (my dad drove me while the other kids took the bus), I was so nervous, the school was huge! The head teacher introduced me to another new student who looked like a nerd (no offence to him) I hung out with him for the first hour of school before people started to know that I was from Canada. Everyone liked me and started inviting me to parties and to their houses. I was a bit nervous because the only party I went to was a beach one. I was still shy because thats me so I was afraid to go to these things but I did. (One thing I forgot to mention was is that before school started, I was always saying to myself that I needed to be popular and I was always concentrating on that) Anyways, the first two weeks went by in fear of people inviting me over, but this happened only because I was shy. Suddenly, I got into my first fight with my friend for no reason (i wasnt used to falling out with my friends because i never did), it made me feel like shit and thats when things started to go downhill. After the fight (2 days), i wasnt able to talk to him properly, whenever i wanted to talk to him my mind went blank. I wasnt able to think and when i wanted to say something, i felt like i wasnt allowed to. Thats when my talking problem started. I started to concentrate on what I was going to say and when i did say something to him, my voice sounded quiet and he never understood me so i would just say never mind. (I didnt know about social anxiety) Soon I wasnt able to talk to anyone properly even the people I got close with and I started to think that no one really like me anymore. At night I would think of all the bad possible things that would happen the next day. I started counting down days to half term break. It was the worst I've ever felt in my life, I have told my parents about it but they didn’t care. Finally it was the last day before our one week break and it was free dress day so I didn’t have to wear my uniform. It was the best day I have had since I moved here. I talked to my friends, I went out to eat pizza and I was the class clown for one day. During the break, all I thought about was all the good memories I had living on the island and I went into depression. I avoided social situations and I started thinking of the parties I went to at the beginning of the year and why no one invited me anymore. My fell out with the same friend again and I started saying I was going to die which got my parent’s attention. Of course I didn’t really mean it, I would never commit suicide or hurt myself on purpose. That was one of the worst moments of my life. Since the person I fell out with was the only person I really hung out with even though I was really quiet around him. Halloween came and we made up and he invited me to his house to scare people. We dressed up as Jason and Freddie and scared people that walked by, it was freezing cold and I was too afraid to tell him. He did all the scary and I just sat there which sucked. When school started again, I felt rubbish. November had to be the worst month. Ironic thing is, my talking problem became a little better because this new kid came to our school and I showed him around so I got practice. I then started hanging out with more people, I hung out with different people all the time but I was so scared to talk to the popular group. One of my friends always took me to the area where they hang out and somedays it was good, somedays it was bad. I still walked to class on my own. My talking problem got a bit better but I still need to think of what I am going to say. I researched on the internet a lot about what my problem could be, I thought I might have been social anxiety but I try hard not to avoid social situations, in fact, sometimes I go up to people and talk but they never hear me because of my American accent so I just stand there and look like a retard. The reason why Novemeber might have been my worst month was because my sister, who has a disability started to act weird (my sister is 9 and she goes to a normal school, in St. Kitts she was in year 2 but they moved her up to year 5). She started to make up words and act crazy and hyper. I started to get really worried and that’s when my parents told me her school wanted to get rid of her and move her to another school. And that’s one of the many reasons why I hate this town I live in. Now at night I start wondering why I am scared of school and my friends and now the fear is starting to get worse. It’s a weird fear, I started to get extremely strange emotions of the world ending combined with fear and confusion. I started thinking about my accent and why people couldn’t understand me. I was scared/confused/sad, it was the strangest I have ever felt in a while. This feeling has caused me to start disobeying my parents, fearing my future and if this fear will stay with me my whole life. Christmas came and I was scared the whole time, while opening presents, while having dinner and while visiting London. I am writing this the day before school starts and I am so scared and I have the weird emotion and I fear the worst of what might happen the next day. I have no seen any of my friends all of Christmas break so I am worried that they don’t like me. I’m thinking about who I will go to talk to in the morning at school and I am thinking that my life will always be like this. I’m scared. I need help and this is the only comfortable way of expressing it, answer as quick as possible. Please.

[trackstar]

Donuts,

Look into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). It works for all types of anxiety if you dedicate yourself to doing the exercises like the TEA form everyday. I was on meds and in and out of therapy for many years before CBT helped me help myself get off all meds and start living my life:)

[Beachgirl]

Donuts,

Look into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). It works for all types of anxiety if you dedicate yourself to doing the exercises like the TEA form everyday. I was on meds and in and out of therapy for many years before CBT helped me help myself get off all meds and start living my life:)

Good advice which I would echo trackstar!

[trackstar]

Thanks beachgirl. How's life treating you?

[OvercomeIt]

You can overcome it...but you have to do things out of your comfort zone...best of luck

[Beachgirl]

I'm doing great, enjoying the summer. How about you?

[tmays]

Hey Beach! I know I have disappeared for a while but where are all the CBT guys and girls? I miss interacting and hope you and everyone else are doing well!

[Beachgirl]

I'm doing swell. Wish summer would not have gone by so fast but I'm hoping for a warm Fall :)
How's life treating you?

[trackstar]

I'm doing swell. Wish summer would not have gone by so fast but I'm hoping for a warm Fall :)
How's life treating you?

I echo those sentiments for sure! Good to see you guys are still thriving too :)

[Beachgirl]

I echo those sentiments for sure! Good to see you guys are still thriving too :)

Knock on wood. I always get a little nervous going into the holidays, as that used to be the worst anxiety time for me, but that has not been a problem for years I guess it will be a while until I shake that memory?

[Beachgirl]

I made it through unscathed :)
How about everyone else?

[carlaliving]

Hi,
I was feeling the same way! But in the moment I am thinking on even getting pregnant. I am also on medication rx-pharmashop.com. 3 years ago I lost 15kg and I thought my life is finished. I saw no option for my future. I saw myself dying alone at home, never get somewhere. My doctors didn't even recognized that I have depression and borderline syndrome. At the beginning was the medication that helped me, then I started with healthy lifestyle and I am keeping it now. Only sometimes I am taking Zoloft, on the bad days.

[trackstar]

Better late than never.... At least I am replying before the next round of holidays lol!
I'm thriving and hope you are also? Biggest complaint is not enough hours in each day anymore, which is a big change from when my anxiety was ruling my life and I wished days would end faster!