How do I get past everything

[jj1983]

Here is some background on me

I lost my mother when she was 22, I was a child. My granny was very very verbally abusive. Then I married someone just like her. I was worked 80 hours a week so I didnt have to be home with him. That is when I got bad anxiety. I started calling into work and couldnt take it and finally quit one job.

I finally got smart and divorced him.

Then I met the love of my life and we had a baby boy and everything was great. About a year later we found out we were expecting a baby girl, sooner than we wanted but we were very pleased! When she was born we found out she had a rare genetic disorder called t9m and they gave her 4 months to live. We were home and at 3 1/2 months of age she passed away (this was Feb 3 2010).

I have been working from home since 2008. Not due to anxiety but due to wanting to stay home with our son.

Our son has never been sick but ended up at the er this last weekend ,he is 29 months old now. I keep thinking HE may just stop breathing like our daughter did! even though he is usually healthy.

My hubby is military and I am terrified about moving,and leaving our life here where I have always lived and going 10 hours away from my pa, who is 76! I just know something bad will happen to him while I am there.

I think this is why ever since feb my attacks have been worse but this month they have been worse then they have been in years.

Anyone have any insight and advice? I am a smart,educated person and used to be such a people person and in sports in school and etc...and I feel sometimes that I am falling apart at the seams.

My main issues are riding in a car, not wanting to be around many ppl (I had to leave church sunday because too many ppl and I about fainted), my heart beats real fast a lot, i burp a lot afterwards, I feel light headed a lot and worry something bad may happen to me and I will leave our son motherless like I was. I dread moving big time and really will feel uncomfortable there. Sometimes I feel I can not catch my breath well.But the heart is my main issue that makes me have a panic attack.

Thanks for listening guys I know that was long,.

[Itzomi]

My gosh, I am so sorry! You have been through some horrible times. It's no wonder you're anxious!!

God bless you & your hubby for his service to our country. That in itself must be highly stressful, and moving away from your elderly father...that's a lot to deal with!!

My mom lost her baby at one month old, and as a result, she was very protective when she had me. You will no doubt be the same with your boy, but it's OK. People always thought my mom was overprotective of me, but I loved it. Always knew I was loved!! :)

I lost my mom & stepfather a few years ago and know how you feel. It turns your world upside down. I wish I could offer some "help" but just wanted to say I know how you feel, and that I hope you and everyone else here can get some relief from our anxieties!!