You will deal with it strategy

[jusroc]

Try this,
every time you get a fear about something, tell your self that what ever happens, You will deal with it.

So, every time you get a worry such as "What if they don't like me" or "what if the person I don't like is there" or "What if I make a fool of myself" or "What if it goes wrong" or "What if someone laughs at me" etc.

Just tell yourself, "What ever happens, I WILL deal with it!!!"

Most the time people worry about being judged by people who aren't half as decent as themselves anyway. And when the people are decent, then it is likely that they will not treat you badly anyway.

The way I look at it is if a person is being nasty because in essence they are nasty, then they can go fuck them selves, and the problem is all there's, even if they are bullying you and getting people to gang up on you, remember, it is the bullies that are the bigot ass holes and not you.

If you have done nothing wrong and people are simply picking on you with out good reason. Then you have nothing to be ashamed about. It is the bullies that should be ashamed.

In essence, remember these words. "Fuck em!"
Have a good day.

[Charmbracelet81]

In essence, remember these words. "Fuck em!"
Have a good day.





That's awesome. LOL!

[Link]

Great advice, I agree. And if you keep reminding yourself of that, eventually it will be inbuilt that you don't have to think about it anymore, it will come automatically. The way people act around you is nothing to do with what you have done, it is just them and don't take it personally. What helped me was the thought, "I'm here to do a job, not impress anyone."

[sky]

It's so much easier to say though! I totally agree, but there's the part of the brain that goes, OH NO YOU WON'T! AND HERE'S WHY!

[inescapable]

It feels like a battle between logic and gut instinct. Logic says I'm overreacting, I will be fine, no one will judge me. Gut instinct says you are not fine, people are judging you, don't even go. And I believe gut instinct is hard to overcome, but I continue trying. I haven't given up the battle

[caera]

Whenever you will feel like sad just motivate yourself. Motivation is a biggest key of success. In a whole day give at least 15 minutes to yourself, think about yourself, what you are doing and why. After this discussion to yourself, you will find answers of your problems.

_____________
Nursing Homes

[Beachgirl]

Try this,
every time you get a fear about something, tell your self that what ever happens, You will deal with it.

So, every time you get a worry such as "What if they don't like me" or "what if the person I don't like is there" or "What if I make a fool of myself" or "What if it goes wrong" or "What if someone laughs at me" etc.

Just tell yourself, "What ever happens, I WILL deal with it!!!"

Most the time people worry about being judged by people who aren't half as decent as themselves anyway. And when the people are decent, then it is likely that they will not treat you badly anyway.

The way I look at it is if a person is being nasty because in essence they are nasty, then they can go fuck them selves, and the problem is all there's, even if they are bullying you and getting people to gang up on you, remember, it is the bullies that are the bigot ass holes and not you.

If you have done nothing wrong and people are simply picking on you with out good reason. Then you have nothing to be ashamed about. It is the bullies that should be ashamed.

In essence, remember these words. "Fuck em!"
Have a good day.

This is one of the main tenets of CBT as you learn to counter your thoughts you must remind yourself not only that you can deal with whatever comes, but that you are dealing with it all the time anyway.

[jessed03]

I read a study, that said affirming things to yourself only worked with a certain type of person. I think it was those who were in the audio category. For those that were more visual, or analytical by nature, the brain is simply too aware of being re-programmed or brain washed, and will instead simply dig up lots of reasons not to back up this claim you keep telling it.

Interestingly, a way to bypass all of that, and shut off the brains re-programming resistance, was to use an afformation, instead of an affirmation.

Saying "Whatever happens I will handle it" will work for some people, but it will usually only be a third. By rephrasing it slightly, to saying "Why do I manage to handle everything so easily?" it tricks the brain to, instead of creating evidence against the statement, search for evidence in favour of it.

This then creates new neurological pathways, in which your mind will begin to store evidence of you doing everything correctly, or easily, instead of storing evidence for a struggle.

You can create your own list of Afformations and read them expressively in front of the mirror every day. I've seen amazing changes in people. It's known as autogenic training. Relax the body using meditation or any other method, to ensure you're in the correct brain stage, and producing the correct brain waves, and then when you awaken, read your list.

Examples would be:

*Why am I becoming more and more open to facing my fears every day?

*Why do I enjoy working through the pain barrier, to better my life?

*Why do I manage to deal with setbacks easier and easier each day?

*Why do I care less and less about peoples opinions?

They are read like affirmations, you don't answer them.

Those are just geneic examples, you can make them as personal as you like. If anyone wants to see my list of afformations, or wants to know more (I could write something more in details, or maybe you suspect you're not one of the 1/3 who can affirm things) send me a PM and I'll get back to you. This is a technique that really excites me, it's very useful for social anxiety too :)

[mscinderella]

Love it !!! Thanks for posting this.

[AnxietySincePreschool]

jessed 03 really interesting! and I agree affirmations don't usually work. they are just empty distracting words that don't pan out mostly

[TheHopelessWON]

It is not mental for me it is not "thoughts" that disturb me, no thoughts,scenerios,personal issues bring this on.. to put it Simply I wake up With Over-Dose of FEAR that comes from NOWHERE... of course unemployment,homelessness,personal issues will make these symptoms worse.. But this does not stem off of anyone or thing causing me fear

[anxiousaimee]

Rather than a "deal with it" approach, I prefer to use an "accept it" approach.
Telling myself I can deal with it, automatically sets up the whole fight or flight response, panic is kicking in early, coz there's something I have to deal with, something i can't avoid! I prefer to tell myself I don't need to deal with it, because it's ok. No matter what happens, it's ok. It's a choice, if you freak out, you don't have to deal with or battle it, just allow it to happen.
When I get out of bed in the morning, even in the summer, the temperature is always lower as soon as I peel back the blankets, but I don't need to deal with it or fight it, and start frantically searching for a cardigan, I'm perfectly fine with varying degrees of temperature.
So when I go outside, if I meet a friend, if I have to sit in a bar, my insides are going to be way on the other end of the scale than what they are when I'm safe and relaxed in bed, but that's ok, it's different, if everything in the world felt the same, it would be boring. Their just feelings inside, their ok. The feeling of terror is just that, another feeling, so like all other feelings, joy, excitement, content.... it's ok.

[ryanmccormick975]

Everytime I go out in public or even others houses I automatically start to feel light headed and faint and when i talk or walk it feels like its not even me doing it I have had so many tests done ... MRI , cat scans, EKG, blood pressure , lung scans, 2 spinal taps and everything has come back "fine" I don't know what to do anymore.

[anxiousaimee]

Everytime I go out in public or even others houses I automatically start to feel light headed and faint and when i talk or walk it feels like its not even me doing it I have had so many tests done ... MRI , cat scans, EKG, blood pressure , lung scans, 2 spinal taps and everything has come back "fine" I don't know what to do anymore.

That sounds like anxiety ... that is exactly how I experience it. If my anxiety worsens my eye sight gets worse and blurry, and I begin to hear a lot of noise and can't focus on anything.

[ryanmccormick975]

That's how I feel ! My eyesight almost gets uncontrollable to the point where it's hard to actually focus my eyes on certain things, and when I'm in stores or something it's like I'm " off balance" but can still walk and stuff if I push through it

[rhar]

Everytime I go out in public or even others houses I automatically start to feel light headed and faint and when i talk or walk it feels like its not even me doing it I have had so many tests done ... MRI , cat scans, EKG, blood pressure , lung scans, 2 spinal taps and everything has come back "fine" I don't know what to do anymore.

Omg this is soooo me! It's so annoying.
I will forget about it for a moment then realise I've stopped thinking about it and then it starts again!!
When I'm in shops or at friends houses I feel so faint that I start swaying and sometimes I need to jump or run to prove to myself that I won't pass out!! I'm so sick of the feeling!!!!

[rhar]

I also get numb feet and fingers, or pins and needles.... Do you??

[stiffy23]

Hi. I'm new to this. But I really wish I could stop being so nervous to go out. I use to be able to get in my car by myself and go to a store etc... Now I can't go anywhere without my "safe" person which is my mom or my sister... I get light headed, a lump in my throat, pins and needle feeling. Work has really become a issue of late. I am so frightened to be by myself I send myself straight into panic mode. I'm usually at work dealing with the public for a good 6 hours before the next person comes in. It's so bad. I want this to stop. I've also been on Xanax and Ativan on and off for the past 5 years. I want this to end. I so want to be normal :(

[RobinG]

Stiffy23 that sounds like me! Jst getting worse & worse huh!!! I been in therapy alot its helped but still had major issues! I also on xanax. For me i jst went on anti depressant 2 wks ago its already helping alot! Mine is zoloft, firsy week was awful but after that seeing much improvement!

[stiffy23]

RobinG its so strange... I can't do anything by myself. I so wanna be myself again. I've never talked to a professional, I guess I'm nervous to. But I guess I just have it In the back of my head that it won't help. Do you feel better talking to a pro about your issues? I've been on different anti- depressants, but I've stopped taken them and stick mostly to the Xanax/Ativan. Any advice would be great!

[RobinG]

Stiffy23 as far as a professional gtta find the right one that deals with anxiety/panic the others jst talk! They all hav differant veiws. I found one thats been a huge help for me. The bad thing abt xanax ( benzos) is they r for as needed only use. Thats why ive gone to a antidepressant! One thing for sure ur not alone, there is lots of us! Its helps to talk abt it not keep it all inside. Im here too!!

[stiffy23]

How are u doing?

[Lin]

Rather than a "deal with it" approach, I prefer to use an "accept it" approach.
Telling myself I can deal with it, automatically sets up the whole fight or flight response, panic is kicking in early, coz there's something I have to deal with, something i can't avoid! I prefer to tell myself I don't need to deal with it, because it's ok. No matter what happens, it's ok. It's a choice, if you freak out, you don't have to deal with or battle it, just allow it to happen.
When I get out of bed in the morning, even in the summer, the temperature is always lower as soon as I peel back the blankets, but I don't need to deal with it or fight it, and start frantically searching for a cardigan, I'm perfectly fine with varying degrees of temperature.
So when I go outside, if I meet a friend, if I have to sit in a bar, my insides are going to be way on the other end of the scale than what they are when I'm safe and relaxed in bed, but that's ok, it's different, if everything in the world felt the same, it would be boring. Their just feelings inside, their ok. The feeling of terror is just that, another feeling, so like all other feelings, joy, excitement, content.... it's ok.

This follows the ACT instead of CBT theory. Acceptance Commitment Theory is where you accept what you are thinking and you learn to work with them, instead of against them. There is a really good book called The Happiness Trap by Russ Morris about it with worksheets. I was told by my mental health team manager that ACT works better with mindfulness than CBT, and I think he is right.
Just a suggestion if you would like to have a look at it. The Happiness Trap has a website too.

[Egglish]

Most the time people worry about being judged by people who aren't half as decent as themselves anyway. And when the people are decent, then it is likely that they will not treat you badly anyway.

The way I look at it is if a person is being nasty because in essence they are nasty, then they can go fuck them selves, and the problem is all there's, even if they are bullying you and getting people to gang up on you, remember, it is the bullies that are the bigot ass holes and not you.

If you have done nothing wrong and people are simply picking on you with out good reason. Then you have nothing to be ashamed about. It is the bullies that should be ashamed.

In essence, remember these words. "Fuck em!"
Have a good day.

In my life, this approach has had mixed good and bad results. I find it too easy to fall into mentally classifying anyone who seems threatening as "not as cool as me" or otherwise imagine them to be jerks (whether or not they really are) in an effort to respond to the feelings caused in me by being around strangers. I don't want to be a person who sees myself as better than anyone, and essentially I'm always worrying about being judged- but "fuck 'em" seems to go too far if I internalize it as a habit and don't realize that now suddenly I'M the one judging for no (good) reason.

[Egglish]

As in- I still want to keep my distance from others, but because I've forced myself to interact despite this strong desire to hide, I find reasons to keep my distance from people anyway. Get a "thick skin" or an "idgaf" attitude because I'm in fact too raw to even let myself care about what they're thinking of me, positive or not.

[Shadowtime]

I agree that the "F*** off" and "I will deal with it" strategies are likely to to invite panic in certain personality types. Acceptance is a nicer strategy. Tell yourself "those are just my silly anxious thoughts. They're completely irrational," and then try to redirect your thought pattern elsewhere. You can even try to rationalise them in your head if they're sticking around. I often ask myself "what if [worst case scenario happens]". What if I stammer when I'm reading in front of the class? Will everyone suddenly gang up on me and think I'm an idiot? No, of course they won't!

[Ponder]

If I resort to thinking in terms of negative Terms ... I will escalate from there. As for any one System that makes claims other another, my warning bells will go off. I think strategies can be as effective or ineffective as medicine ... it depends on the person make up , extent of the problem and also willingness to get well. I personally don't like the sales technique on the home page of the happiness trap and I rarely pay for self help information ... but that's just me. In saying that ... I like the line of thinking about how modern day society is always pumped up to be happy and how those that are not, are considered sad & sorry individuals who just need more things to make them happy. Consumerism is the happiness trap.

Again though ... finding answers in a world that sells religion, spiritualism and now, mindfulness can be extremely confusing. It's not the subject matter that's the issue, it's the way people hand that stuff out that I'm done with. "Distrust" ranks as one of my highest triggers that has over the years pushed me into an unhappy level of paranoia that broils just under the surface ... unfortunately my fear can be rather defensive with the last thing as my copping strategy ... is thinking of who is right and wrong ... that in is the thinking pattern that sets me up to trigger.

What do I do ... as a long term suffer, when I am feeling anger when the walls close in ... I try to avoid eye contact ... for me that helps me not to explode & I won't tolerate any one theory telling me it's not my solution (still a nit peeved and that website sales pitch) Affirmations ... YEA! If that works for you then GOOD ... I use them sometime to bring myself down and also make myself feel better. Who cares if they are not the long term solution and I disagree that anyone can make such a claim. The repetition with words are used by add companies to brainwash people and judging by the amount of sheep wasting their money out there, I'd say its a good indication that repetition works. Hell we beat ourselves up so often that the very repetition of doing so make it so damn hard to break the pattern ... therefore saying something nice on a regular bases seems like a good idea ... even having then put up on the wall.

I have do use mindfulness ... but only in ways that appeal to me. I don't have a problem with my problem ... I take medication, do therapy and so as to accept living in a world that I believe has a problem. Perhaps one day when I get better at it, by developing my own strategies and so on, I may adopt other approaches. I think being very mindful of anger helps me ... as fear & anger seem to manifest easily from each-other ...

My daughter has just been proposed to ... and whilst I am very happy for her ... I am extremely sick thinking about such a gathering ... so to wrap up my handling technique:

Will most likely keep eye contact to a minimum (I'll try not to be obvious or rude)
Yes ... I will most like give myself a few positive affirmations (think positively but only as much to counter my negative pattern. Like a visualization of me actually handling things OK)
I won't engage in conversation, but do my best to reply politely if asked a question (I'm a reserved guy with issues ... If they can not respect that, then yes, it's their problem not mine - but don't get drawn into those who take offense by my reserved nature)
Prepare myself for the fact that we humans don't always get along ... and especially with family members/alcohol and the like.

I tried talking with my daughter but she cried thinking I was only thinking of me ... that kind of backfired on me, but I think she understands I'm just scared and it's why I can't get a job and medicated, bla bla (I DON'T DO FUNERALS EITHER)

Deal with the Religious side to it (no offense it's a massive trigger with me) ... Was beaten and abuse under the religious banner ...

And no doubt much more to consider, like how I'm not going to look good enough for others ... SIGH ... such a chore please others these days. lol
Seating ... Escape route ... and so on.
______________________________________________

No offense intended with my stereotyping peoples ... srry about that ... that's just how that secnario would work for me and in fact, I should place all my outings like that ... Traffic really sets me off and peope in gerneral today are just so flighty that I need to accept that as well. Sometimes forcing myself to smile, for the sake of just stopping myself from yelling or giving death stares can work, however you have to watch it does not turn into a sharks grin intent on yea yea ... whatever, I'm still going to rip you to pieces you good for....bla bla and lots of acid from there ...

Just try and do more of what makes me calm down and think pleasant thoughts ... does not have to be happy ... I agree that happy is overrated ... I don't mind having a laugh, but I get the idea of the happiness trap although I don't like the sales pitch.

Edit ... Note whilst I may sound very angry ... I have done a lot not to get arrested these days ... foosbarrraaaaarrr or however it goes ... the much problem with suppressing "frustration" so it's not manifested anger is that Depression sets in hard ... So dealing with depression is a major factor! ... Routine and walking for me ... when I am up to it. :) Yea I am up to it!

That's my 2 cents ... and thanks for your feed back guys. Interesting thread and read.
Dave.

[pewpewpew]

yes i agree completely

[Ponder]

It's not what you say, but how you say it.

[Cody Stanley]

I tell the anxiety to fuck off but it gets too overwhelming sometimes

[MrWinter]

I agree that affirmations do not work to change core beliefs. But all core beliefs are based on a kind of a logic - what changes those beliefs is to have them challenged with a better logic that gives us that "aha!" moment - an epiphany. In that moment we can and do change our core beliefs and almost immediate change can come about.

I'm not sure I like the logic that I will deal with it to be honest - because it doesn't silence the fear that I cant or might not - it feels like it still requires something from me that I dont have. I prefer the idea that I dont have to deal with it - they can deal with not liking me or me having an anxiety attack. I deny myself any escape route as part of my recovery - a better plan when you think you have anxiety coming and wonder "what will I do" is to plan to have an anxiety attack and a public one at that, hell I plan to tell everybody and let them deal with it - and maybe even have a little sit down and rest right there (should it actually happen). It always goes away when I plan that. You dont have anxiety attacks when you genuinely couldn't care less - thats the secret sauce.

[Aleasha]

This doesn't really work for me. The thought of my bad thoughts actually coming true are so horrible that I can't think that I would deal with it. I would welcome death over my greatest fear.

[Anacin]

i found some really good points in what you have said. i think i need more than "whatever happens i will deal with it." i need to add a little more to it but that is something to work with.

[Davit]

Interesting, Assertive works with assertive types, not passives but there is a technique that works with all types. It is based on the fact that positive thought can only access positive reactions in memory. So using positive words in place of negative words blocks access to fear without blocking function. EG: I want to, (positive) in place of, I have to (negative). Think about it, everything you do with ease you do because you want to, but things you have to do are harder.
Beware of riders, if, and, and buts are riders, use one of these in a thought and the thought changes from positive to negative or vice versa.

[Ponder]

Interesting Dave. I will try to remember that, however (I hope that's not riding :) ) I don't believe language is that simple, or I mean, Language is often used too much to indicated and or measure a person, when really in many complex cases, a complex system such as our language, fails miserable to asses the measure of a persons state. Having said that though, I do like the way you have drawn out such a context with using words with respect to being or leading into Negative and Positive states.

I will keep that in mind with my own self expression.

Thank You. ;)

[Davit]

We learn in school and at home words and their meanings and they go into memory but out on the street we use slang that means one thing to us and another to memory. Acronyms are okay if the meaning doesn't change.
If you go to Nomorepanic as a guest you can read what others say in the "words" thread on the panic board. Interesting reading if you ignore what is not related. It is sort of like a blog I started and others added to. Not everyone agreed.

[Ponder]

Our language is really limiting. People twist words to make them mean what is right for them. They really should be teaching more meaningful things. I learend so much more in the street.

I'll be right thanks.

[Davit]

Jessed03

Technically, I know how and why this works, suffice to say it works. It is all under memory on the net.

[stopwatch]

well said!! I have been using a therapist who is awesome and uses the same sort of advise..his site has some really good info on there especially about neuroscience..manchesteranxietyhelp.co.uk

[overcomeanxietytoday]

I have started attacking my fear through exposure therapy and it seems to be working.

My psychologist says it takes 21 days to create new pathways.

I have therefore jotted down my fears and I plan to face down frontally.

I have re-started my 21 day program as I was not faithfully to the last one.

I did however find benefits from the last one.

If you have anxiety, it's best to face the fear fully and until you stop being afraid. Its the fear you are really afraid of, fear of developing a panic attack. Once you lose that fear, you'd be okay.

There's a street in my neighborhood which I have been avoiding forever but now walk it everyday as part of my treatment and I'm getting better.

Please follow my journey. It's in my blog

[John Spiker]

I've been struggling with panic attacks for years. I recently read the following short book which outlined some good methods to combat fear. I recently read the book "Flip the Script on Fear" from amazon which outlined some good methods to combat fear.

[Kirk]

Anything that you find helpful is good to hear.

[jatzcrackers]

Mine has a little bit of what will they think?, but more loss of control within myself! that freaks me out!

[Kirk]

I have come to realize that in life, their is little we can control, so it is better to try to let go.

[caveman]

your "fuck em" attitude works, but only for so long. if your disorder is progressive you will eventually reach a point where will power and mental tricks wont cut it anymore. you should seek proper treatment while it still works for you.

[Ponder]

Once I start saying "Fuck It" I can easily wind up screaming'FUCK ALL YOU CUNTS!" The latter being quite toxic for all involved. However after much contemplation imo; "Fuck it!" does have it's place. Will Power is not a trick once you come to understand it's up to individuals take responsibility and NOT rely on others for a 'fix'. [Fix is an illusion at any rate - a created one they want you to think you need - is the clinical way] The problem with most 'dis' - 'orders' is that society seeks to categorize those that don't fit, thus it being more a process of labeling, shaming and ultimately a case of constant rejection that said disorders become progressive which then of course have us all believing that only clinical intervention can fix. It's how the big wheel spins.

So Yea ... "FUCK IT!" But don't get yourself in a twist thinking just because 'the' problem is ongoing that you can't help yourself. Sure seek help, but your still going to have to take responsibility for yourself. Especially if your not seeking chemical solutions for lifestyle related problems. Anyone that want's to push the former on me ... well they can go fuck themselves! Is the number one go to when I explain to professionals when I need a form - "what medication are you on?" Be very careful when you do and seek help! Not even the doctors expect you to take responsibility for yourself. "here take this - NEXT PLEASE!"

Chemical Imbalance hey?. FUCK IT ... those words are just as effective for stabilization. But we can't have a society full of people waling around saying "Fuck It" now, can we? I guess it's all in the way we summon up those words and how we say it and where it leads.

Just my view ... I'm fucking sick of seeking help but then having to cross those fucking welfare mentality GPs. "Hey 'DOC' WHAT' FUCKING MEDS ARE YOU ON?"

Wow ... this "Fuck It!" approach really works. Thanks for the tip.

Until next FUCKING POST!!! :)

[domainer]

Strategies required best timing!!

[Memaw52]

Speaking with strategy, what I usually do most of the time is keep a journal. I write there everything that is most important to me. They are my strength and I always think of facing my triggers one at a time. Our human mind is strong. We don't know its capacity unless we try exceeding its limit.

[Ponder]

I always like to take to opposite view if only to sense whether people are reflecting influential speech that's more marketed; or not. My approach is complicated and I have trust issues. The need to be strong is something I see as a chink in the armor. Not the part about being strong ... but the NEED being overly sold as if one is broke when they are not, always in need of fixing themselves or someone else. That said, if people think they are weak, then perhaps they need to take the soldiers journey to learn from taking on more hits. If one is not taking hits, then they are most likely affecting others around them in their quest to be tougher, to be more, to be better and all that other likewise speech. For me, that directions comes off more like blowing up a balloon. It's not self sustaining and always finds people in need. You have to be in touch with one's limits before you can exceed them and when you are in touch the insights obtained leave you without the 'need' to be more than what you already are. The other side of the coin to such self help stratagems, is people get hooked on the need for more. People who limit themselves into categories like extraverts, thrive on such things. Just making a point is all. Been there and done that ... I have also played the introvert ... woers me. You get that gist.

I also still stand by what I said above but would add to 'timing' as suggest by domainer, that balance is also key.

Context is also very important. I don't know many 'you deal with it strategies' that are not projected from negative energy.

Ahhh fuck it ... what do I know? again ... more sarcasm as is the major theme to my previous reply. You deal with it strategy can work and I agree timing is right. If your play is off the mark, you will be stuck constantly telling everyone else to deal with it - when the only way is to deal with it, is to deal with it yourself.

This is just how I tick ... I went through the whole tony robins genre and likewise self help media. It was just a journey I needed to take to find out what I know now. Mores the power to those who can get through each day what what works for them. We can't all be on the same plain. At least not in my world ... Sameness is over rated just as the need to agree can be. It's too easy.

[Memaw52]

I'm so tired and exhausted. I'm thinking of quitting but I can't. I'll deal with it :(

[Ponder]

For anyone that has joined us, we have an issue with a single user, using multiple accounts who is having a hard time dealing with it.

[av1988]

For anyone that has joined us, we have an issue with a single user, using multiple accounts who is having a hard time dealing with it.

I haven't been here in a while. I noticed the spam. I take it no admins visit here anymore?

[PeterAndersonIsARacist]

I haven't been here in a while. I noticed the spam. I take it no admins visit here anymore?

No, no admins for many years - if you're needing help or support No More Panic (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/) is one of the few actively moderated forums of this type still operating.