27 Years old with terrible anxiety and panic attacks.Advice?

[jj1983]

Hi all,I want to introduce myself. Sorry this is so long...but...

I am a 27 year old female from down south and am new to this forum.

Back when I was about 22 I was working 2 jobs and in a HORRIBLE marriage that I hated. I started having horrible panic attacks and they were terrible of the nights because my THEN hubby would be home and thats when they got worse,whe he was around.

I got divorced after being with that idiot for 7 years, and they went away.

I got remarried to an awesome husband and we have been together since 2007. In 2008 we had our son who was perfectly healthy. I somewhat has some social anxiety where if alot of people were at a resturant I wouldn't eat there. No big deal really we would just go out at odd times. My hubby knew/knows how I am about this.

Then in October 2009 we had our daughter who was born with a rare genetic condition,and she passed away in February. I am who found her and myself and my son was the only one's home when she passed.

Since then, our 29 month old son has stopped talking, and we have talked to his Dr.,speech,and had his ears checked. Everything is fine. They all 3 think he is dealing with his sister passing this way.

My hubby is military and we are trying to sell our home,to move 10 hours away and we are trying to find a home there. My anxiety has been out of CONTROL....

Everyday I wake in a panic ,no alarm is waking me I just wake on my own,feeling this way. Then I feel some better after I lay there a few mins. I get up and feel light headed and dizzy....I try eating something like a banana because feeling light headed I do not feel like eating much. I will drink water and lay around part of the day...I feel sick,like throwing up,like my heart is beating a million miles an hour. I worry if I could have just had a heart attack. My mom died at age 22 when I was a baby, of an ulcer, probably from stress.....so I know people can died early. I get parinoid of this.

I have tried valarine(sp?) I always take vitamins,I am OTHERWISE healthy body wise..5'6" 130lbs. drink nothing but water,eat healthy.

The only thing that seems to help is chewing up half a melatonia. I have tried the who chammoile (sp?) tea, and meditating and NOPE nothing...I will take ANY advice that I can get. I H-A-T-E meds! I really do NOT want to resort of taking any..
I have tried focusing on our son,tv,internet anything and still have them.Nothing seems to work for me.

I started babysitting another child and hope it will help me really focus my attention else where..

Any others care to share tips,I will do anything...

[anxiolytic]

if your too scared to take meds, then face your fears, go to the restaurant, and look around, think to yourself, what is it that makes you nervous. Is it people judging you? are you self concious about your appearance and think people will judge you negatively? do you think people will be talking sh*t about you? lol if you think any of these things, look around the whole room, and ask yourself, who is it that your afraid of. You'll come to the conclusion that the fear is in your mind, in reality no one is laughing at you, no one is thinkining negatively about you, everyone is minding their own business. lol i hope you overcome your anxiety, add me people, need someone to talk to
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[lawandorder]

Hi,
It's a pretty big deal losing your daughter, and that alone could well trigger old anxiety habits. I'm sorry for your loss.
I think you need to address whether you have attended to the grief, or if you have kind of bottled the pain. Maybe you are the strong one in the family, and feel the need to hold everything together. I don't know your sitution so it's hard to say, but a lot of the time - if not all, anxiety has an underlying cause, something that we are not addressing, so it comes out in other ways - panic, fear - around things that we never used to think twice about. Finding your daughter would be an extremely traumatizing event, and I think you need to recognize that, and validate to yourself how much it hurt.
This may provide some sort of closure, and hence, a gradual improvement in the anxiety.
The fact your son isn't talking certainly doesn't help your anxiety. Theres a lot you might fear - if he's going to be ok, how he is feeling, and how you can help him.
All of these things warrant extreme anxiety. It would be silly to say that you shouldn't feel the way you do.
However now that your in this position, I think the best approach would be to see a psychologist. You need a time in the week to vent - just to talk about the way you feel - this is an essential part of the healing process. While your husband may be there with you, it is still very beneficial to your well-being to talk about your struggles with a third party (not with him there). You gain another perspective on things, and they can guide you with techniques to handling the anxiety, and also go through anything - anything you want to talk about. Sometimes we just need to talk, freely and openly, to relieve some of that weight we feel.
Your son will be fine - fantastic in fact, however he is going through his own grieving process. A psychologist can also help you with him too.
Supplements, medication, and chammomile tea can only offer the slightest of relief. It may be hard, but it could be time to dive into the real issues.
Take care of yourself, you sound like a remarkably strong woman :)
cheers

[TwitchGreenMachine]

Sorry for the loss of your daughter...My heart goes out to you and your family....

I'm also going to do everything in my power to avoid medication...I think as long as we all continue to share with eachother what works and what doesn't...We'll be able to get rid of severe anxiety for good.

We are all in this together.

[Jamescc]

My adivce would be KEEP GOING. keep you're mind active as you can only think of one thing at once, if your mind is occupied then you cannot think about the anixety.

Remember, A thought is just a thought, the reality is you are fine, and enjoying life!

Appreciate that it will not go like a flick of a switch, it is clear that you need some coginitive behavioural therapy, which can help with your thoughts!

Everyday is closer to getting better...

[forwells]

Hi jj1983 :D

Sorry for your loss and i hope you return to the forums in case one of us may be able to help you .


My mom died at age 22 when I was a baby, of an ulcer, probably from stress.....so I know people can died early. I get parinoid of this.

First i just have to talk about this . What you are feeling is completly normal and something i felt for many years .

I know that you may look at this and say that your mum died of a ulcer but i am sure that there are many other factors that play into things here and i also i agree stress can cause many problems but they take a long time for them to cause big problems and i think you are guessing that stress was a factor here . Have you dealt with your mums death .I am guess that you have in some way . I am also guessing that the death of your daughter plays into things also . Maybe you are questioning why good people die young .

I think you need to talk what you feel about these two events with someone as i believe they are having a effect on you even if you cant see it .
My mother died from gall stones when i was 18 months old and she was 24 .

Anxiety is stress and you need to learn to handle the stress and counter react what it is doing to you .

There are many things i could tell you but will wait and see if you return .
Also would like to know what you may know about anxiety and panic attacks and what you have been doing to help things out .

You dont need drugs if you dont want to go that way . I am now recovered from anxiety and did not use drugs

cheers kev :D