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[lpanagakos24]

I have been struggling with anxiety for the majority of my life. When I was a child, I had a dibilitating fear of lightning. This then evolved into social fear in middle school, and finally fear of crowds in high school. I developed stomach ulcers in high school, and have had an issue to this day with grinding my teeth at night. In college, my stress became related to perfection and performance. If I got a B in a class, I would be thrown into a full attack, and feel completely inadequate. Now that I have graduated, my stress and anxiety are work related. Any time there is a thought that a small mistake may have been made on my watch, I blow it completely out of proportion. Not one time have any of these fears been valid. I feel afraid to the point that I convince myself I will be fired, but in actuality I have been promoted 3 times in less than 2 years. I do my job extremely well, but I feel consistently inadequate, and fearful for my job. It is at the point now where I feel I need to take steps to fix my anxiety. My whole life I have tried to manage it on my own, but it has never worked. But even knowing what I need to do, I cannot seem to motivate myself to take the right steps. I know I need to exercise, and that it will make me feel better and may help with my stress level, but I cannot motivate myself to do it. I can't motivate myself to visit a doctor about my symptoms even though I know logically it is what I should do. I am in constant conflict between my logic and emotion. I can logically see that every situation that causes severe anxiety is unfounded and unrealistic. but I simply cannot stop the feeling from happening. My anxiety causes a feeling that my lungs are constricted. I can't breathe, I can't think, I tend to hyperventilate, and the same thought will cycle through my mind for hours.

I suppose I am posting so that I can get some insight from other people who can relate. I need support from those who understand. My loved ones simply cannot understand how I am feeling, and why I am unable to calm myself.

Suggestions? .......It's time I got a few.....

[jusroc]

Hello.
You condition sounds like a bad case of anxiety, perhaps you suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

This is an anxiety disorder that causes the suffered to suffer from a constant state of anxiety.

This condition can be caused by biological factors such as permanent damage to a part of the brain called the thaladamus which deals with the chemical response to the fight and flight response.

The damage to the thaladamus us likely caused by too much stress hormones (glucocortisol) and once damaged, their is not much that can be done to reverse the damage.

Although there is a supplement on the market called phosphatidyl serine that has shown in some clinical trials that it may help regenerate dead brain cells. Although this trial may have been performed on rats or something and at present, there isn't conclusive evidence that it definately does, so it is hard to say.

Also, there is an anti depressant called Stablon that also is rumored to reverse this type of brain damage.
Problem with this anti depressant is that when it was first brought out onto the market, it was abused by drug users and there were a number of tragic deaths due the drug users injecting it in order to get a high.
This is a shame, as it looked like it was the best med for Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Apparently it is still prescribed in France.

Now, there is no quick cure for Anxiety, especially when severe.
However, the first thing i would do is to go to the doctor and get him/her to prescribe some medicine to relive you short term.

If your anxiety is servere. he may even prescribe you valium for a short time. And an anti depressant long term.
There is also an anti depressant called buspar that is used to treat anxiety for the short term that works in a similar way to valium.

As for your perfectionism and your thought processes that are causing you anxiety.

I think that the best route for you with this is Cognite Behaviour Therapy and perhaps Psychotherapy / councilling.

Now, for the long term. If you want to reduce your anxious condition.
you will have to put into place some type of relaxation therapy that will help you maintain your stress levels.
Exersice also very good but not over exercise! as this puts too much stress on the body and will make your condition worse.

I would also advise you to look at your lifestyle / working and living environment and elliminate the things that cause you too much stress.

Perhaps reading books on conflict management may help you for work based and relationship confrontation.

Again, supplements can be really helpful.
L-Theanine
Omega 3
Holy Basil
Panax Ginseng

Especially L Theanine

Long term treatment:
CBT
Meditation
Yoga
Tai Chi
Body Scan Relaxation Therapy
Councilling

Anyway,
good luck