alex1993
08-13-2010, 06:39 PM
hello again :D,
I cannot tell if this is anxiety that I am experincing, or I am just having a phase. I have somewhat gotten over my fear of schiz, but I still feel strange. I feel like me perception of the world has changed, and that I'm not so "with it" as I used to be. Not that I am "detached" from reality as in having derealization, but... hm. I don't know. something has changed. maybe it is because I cannot see well, I don't know. I have an astigmatism and near sightedness. Maybe it's getting worse. I'm trying ot figure out whether the root of the problem is visual or mental. or both. but I just think about my surroundings way too much, and just my perception and and life itself. It just isn't like it used to be, so carefree, and just being in this world. I used to just exist in the universe, and now I pick at every little sensation, my mind workings, and my perception. I just examine everything, but not in a good way, but in an anxious way. I just feel like everything my mind takes in is all mumbled jumbled and before it enters my brain, it's like each signal goes to a "checkpoint" where my concious mind evaluates it, and then get anxious from it. I'm just very afraid of my mind, I guess, and the emotions and feelings that can come from it.
ugh. most people with anxiety just seems to be afraid of their physical health, I'm the only one afraid of their mind it seems like. but if anyone could shed some light, that'd be super cool. I haven't been to my psychiatrist for a month (I was on a backapcking trip - very fun!) so I have all of these pent up feelings, just wanted to put them into words.
I cannot tell if this is anxiety that I am experincing, or I am just having a phase. I have somewhat gotten over my fear of schiz, but I still feel strange. I feel like me perception of the world has changed, and that I'm not so "with it" as I used to be. Not that I am "detached" from reality as in having derealization, but... hm. I don't know. something has changed. maybe it is because I cannot see well, I don't know. I have an astigmatism and near sightedness. Maybe it's getting worse. I'm trying ot figure out whether the root of the problem is visual or mental. or both. but I just think about my surroundings way too much, and just my perception and and life itself. It just isn't like it used to be, so carefree, and just being in this world. I used to just exist in the universe, and now I pick at every little sensation, my mind workings, and my perception. I just examine everything, but not in a good way, but in an anxious way. I just feel like everything my mind takes in is all mumbled jumbled and before it enters my brain, it's like each signal goes to a "checkpoint" where my concious mind evaluates it, and then get anxious from it. I'm just very afraid of my mind, I guess, and the emotions and feelings that can come from it.
ugh. most people with anxiety just seems to be afraid of their physical health, I'm the only one afraid of their mind it seems like. but if anyone could shed some light, that'd be super cool. I haven't been to my psychiatrist for a month (I was on a backapcking trip - very fun!) so I have all of these pent up feelings, just wanted to put them into words.