Wanted: advice...suggestions... comments...anything:)

[kekela]

When I was 15 I struggled with depression and anxiety. It was all related to emotional events, and I eventually worked through it all, and haven't had to deal with it since.

I'm 22 now, and about a year ago I lost my job. I wasn't too upset at the time because It wasn't a job I was in love with. I have been looking forward to going back to work, and haven't had any negative feelings about it. I started a new job a few days ago and almost didn't make it there because of a bad anxiety/panic attack. I made myself go anyways, and it was a horrible 4 hours. I am proud of myself for pushing through it but I don't feel as though it has helped any. I have never had anxiety before when starting a new job, why now?

In 4 weeks I start college. I left school when I was 16 because of my depression and anxiety. Right now I feel happy, excited, and I'm really looking forward to continuing my education. But will the same thing happen again? I feel as though this is my last chance with school, and I don't want to mess it up.

I have also been having anxiety/panic over my relationship with my boyfriend. I was in a bad relationship (emotionally, verbally and eventually physically abusive) relationship for over 2 years, and after only a week of being single I met my current boyfriend. We have been together for almost 2 years. I feel as though I didn't work through all my issues with my past relationship and just pushed it all deep down inside. Now I feel those issues coming back up. I feel as though my current boyfriend is too good for me, that he'll leave me, etc. I have also been having nightmares about my ex coming to find me and hurting me. Why has it taken 2 years for these to come to the surface?

I quit my new job, because I have decided it's best for me to take the time to work through my issues and prepare myself for school. School is my #1 priority and I want nothing to conflict with it. With so much going on in my head, I want to focus on one at a time. My family seems to think I was wrong in doing this and feels as though I just gave in to my anxiety.

The past few weeks have been physically and mentally draining. I'm so tired even though I sleep for hours. I'm scared, and confused and I feel like no one understands. After so many years, why is my anxiety/panic back? I suppose it doesn't help that my confidence and self esteem are at 0.

What do you think?

Thanks in advance :)

[JordanBK]

Hm, well with anxiety also being anonymous, there is the possibility with it returning for no reason. Maybe you've been thinking of these past events & relationship status that could somehow trigger it to come back?

With you feeling happy & looking forward to going to college, i can't imagine anxiety being a problem for you there. Just keep your mind strictly focused on that when any feeling/thoughts occur. Easier said than done, but still.

Similar to you i left after half my college year due to anxiety, which was a stupid mistake because i gave in to this disorder. But like yourself, i'm starting college again shortly myself. With my anxiety, it came on because i fell out with close friends as they were being really horrible for a few months, thankfully i've blown them out the picture.

Think more positively rather than negatively, plan what you expect to do each day in advance right up to college (as college will keep your mind busy and off those nasty thoughts) and block out everything else. If your anxiety/depression does get to you at college, just sit away from the crowd for a few minutes until it blows over, or even start a conversation with new people you meet. You WILL be fine.

[ThePhoenix]

Anxiety is something thats often still lurking under the surface even when we have it knocked down. Sometimes an event or a thought or change in routine can allow it to poke its ugly head back through the door.

The bonus is, after you have it beaten once it becomes easier and easier to tackle! Stick to your guns and you will knock it back down again!

Good luck!