Massive memory loss, anxiety/panic related?

[David78]

I've suffered from anxiety and social phobia for most of my life, and this past two years have been particularly horrible, especially after developing a very bad panic disorder. Because of these problems, my memory has been gradually eroding through out the years, and i think i may have developed some milder form of derealization, since i felt disassociated from my environment and thoughts for the past five years. Through out November of 2009 things started growing worst at an alarming rate, until one morning i just woke up with an extreme feeling of dissociation coupled with MASSIVE memory loss. I mean, all my memories were there, but they felt very distant and foggy, and the feeling has been growing gradually worst to the point i am no longer able to reliably form new memories, or remember older ones with any degree of clarity or intensity. Its the worst thing in the world, its like my entire consciousness is slowly fading away and i fear that soon i may no longer be able to see, feel or remember anything and i may have to spend the rest of my life in complete darkness where only the immediate present exist, which is the closest thing to death i can imagine. To make you understand the degree of my problem, everything i experience through out my day is lost in a dark haze within seconds of the experience, with only a residual remain which allows me to function more or less normally. I forget entire conversations upon hearing to them. Listening to music has become an exercise in futility, and even watching movies has become a chore since i cannot follow plot points clearly since i keep forgetting everything.

Needless to say, i completely freaked out when this started and have developed extreme hypochondria, but despite all my efforts, i just cannot find anything wrong with my body and all the doctors keep suggesting it may be a problem with my anxiety. Could this be the case? Could severe anxiety dissociate a person from his own memories to the point of developing near retrograde and anterograde amnesia? Has anyone ever heard of such a case? Furthermore, why does it keep getting worst? I've been treating my anxiety to the best of my abilities to the point i feel calmer and more relaxed then i ever for years, but my memory just keeps fading away, nonstop. I don't know what to do. Google doesn't help, doctors don't help, i just feel so helpless i'm about ready to just let it run its course and take my life. If anybody has any ideas of what may be happening to me, please let me know.