Feeling like this will never go away.

[danielle_nicole13]

So basically my story is this: I'm 15 years old and have always been a nervous person. When I was 5 years old, I witnessed my brother choke on a jawbreaker and almost die. It terrified me. I can barely talk about it without turning into a crying mess. He's okay now, and there hasn't been an episode like that since then.

But for me, it's always just stuck. For the longest time after it happened I wouldn't eat. I lost so much weight, and any time I WOULD eat I'd make someone count my chews to make sure it was okay to swallow. I've gotten over this, and have been able to eat fine and I'm no longer afraid of choking. But ever since that time....I've had this incredible fear of throwing up. It's not that I just don't like it, because I mean, who does like throwing up? It's that I'm literally TERRIFIED of throwing up. And this has a lot to do with my anxiety.

For the past month I've been dealing with severe anxiety attacks. Almost every night, I have at least 2 anxiety attacks. It's hard for me to fall asleep, and during the day I almost always feel nervous. My nervous stomach I get always makes me think I'm going to throw up. Which just makes it worse, and usually sends me into an anxiety attack.

I went to the doctor and she prescribed me lorazepam for when I have the anxiety attacks, and paxil CR for everyday. I know it takes up to a month for the paxil to actually kick in, but she told me within 2 weeks I should see a difference. But I'm not. It's been about 3 weeks now and I see nothing. I still feel nervous throughout the day and I still get anxiety attacks at night. I'm seeing a psychologist once a week, so I'm hoping that this will help me with coping methods...

But this is dramatically effecting my life. I don't really go out anymore. I haven't seen my friends for a long time. I'm scared to go back to school after summer is over for fear that I might have an anxiety attack, or that I might get sick. I've tried talking to my friends about this, but most of them don't seem to understand what I'm going through. None of them seem to understand what it's like when I'm going through an anxiety attack, and none of them understand my fear of throwing up.

About a week ago I had hope that I was starting to get better....I would usually only have a mild anxiety attack (if mild is what you could call it...) once in the night. But a few days ago, I went to a concert. It was a concert that I have been looking forward to for SO long. I had been dying to see the singer live for over a year now, and I finally got the chance. The night before I had a pretty bad anxiety attack, but the day of the concert I was fine. I got in the venue....and was overwhelmed. There were so many people. It was a sold out concert, so I expected it...but still was surprised. I took a lorazepam and during the opening act I was fine. But once the main act came on...I was so nervous I couldn't even enjoy the concert! I ended up having to leave before the show was over....which I'm so disappointed in myself for having to do that. I told my mom, "Oh it was just getting too hot in there. I had to get some air." but I know I was just lying about that. I just feel like I let myself down. And ever since the concert my anxiety is back to where it started.

I sometimes just feel so alone in this. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm hoping the paxil kicks in soon, but until then...I'm not sure. I get so down on myself sometimes and some days I just cry all the time.

I know I'm not alone out there, and I was so happy when I found this forum. I finally feel like I'll have people to talk to who understand what I'm going through.

Well, thanks for reading through all of this.

[forwells]

Howdy danielle_nicole13

15 and anxiety that sucks . Mine was bad enough at 38

Ok what else has your doctor told you . Have they explained how the anxiety came about and how it works. Have they giving any other treatments other than drugs .

First off you need to talk to you mum , there is no point lying to cover things up . Anxiety is very common and she will understand and she will also be able to help you get some better help than drugs . Someone to talk to about it all .

I was like you but am alot better now where my anxiety effects me very little . It takes work to get out of it but you need to first learn why it is happening .

Have a look on google for anxietycenter and read there site . It will help you alot

cheers kev

[mamascrazy1985]

Hey..... i have had anxiety for 2 years now and been a cautious and nervous my whole life. i had my first panic attack when i was around your age (im 25 now) didnt know what is was and got over it thinking it was from the midol i took for cramps and havent tookin it since then, then at aroun 20 yrs i had another panic attack and blamed it on weed and havent touched that since either, after i had my 2 child 2 years ago i developed everything which i tried and sometimes still blame it on my better half, i have come along way med free and still have minor anxiety issues but not much . anxiety centre is a great site but this ones even better for me, theres is people in here that can help you as far as talking about anxiety. i have learned that my anxiety comes from insuffiecent sleep, i get frustrateds and foggy feeling at the.same time every evening and then have some really aggravating anxiety issues if i dont sleep long enough which is tough sometimes with 2 kids, i keep myself occupied so my mind dont wander

[danielle_nicole13]

Thanks for replying so quickly.

My psychologist thinks that the reason I have the anxiety traces all the way back to when my brother was choking. She thinks that's the main reason behind all this. The only other treatments I've gotten other than drugs would be just talking to a psychologist.

And the situation about my mom...I probably should have explained that better. My mom knows all about my anxiety. In fact, some nights she's stayed up with me while I was having an anxiety attack...it's just before the concert I was doing a little bit better and after the concert when I had to leave I felt so down about it. I know that lying about the anxiety wasn't the best. I'll definitely talk to my mom about how the anxiety hasn't gotten any better, see what we can do about it.

Once again, thanks for replying so quickly. :)

[danielle_nicole13]

Hey, mamascrazy1985, thanks also for replying quickly!

My doctor has told me that lack of sleep definitely can increase my anxiety....I try to get a full night's sleep it's just really hard. I tend to sit up thinking about EVERYTHING. I over-analyze everything that's happened over the day and then I just start asking, "What if?" over the dumbest things.

I think that if I got a better night's sleep my anxiety probably wouldn't be as bad during the day. It's just hard to relax during the night and turn on my thoughts. I just sit up and think, which tends to turn into getting myself very anxious.

[louiseevans222]

hey danielle,

Your defientely not alone, believe me there are so many people who are suffering from anxiety, there is no need to worry, you have alot of support...

I know how it can feel, I used to cry in my room by myself, when I had agoraphobia, it feel as if no one understands you, and you feel like an idiot to have a panick attack in front of your friends or family....

When you have people who are going thorugh what you are, you feel so much more better, by reading posts or joining forums, its great...

I think you should just stay strong, but its all up to you, you have to face your fear, once you face it, it will go away....

I was an anxiety sufferer for many years, and I know how it is honestly...

you just have to learn to relax, I recommend one tool which Ive used to change my life...

its really powerful and its free to download you can start seeing fast results within weeks...

click on the link below to get free access to it

All the best Danielle :)