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Pugzilla
07-24-2010, 03:39 PM
This could begin to develop into a long topic, but for the sake of many things I thought it would be best to try get straight to the point. I have been suffering from what I believe to be Anxiety for around 10-8 years now and have gone through many different stages.

I will try to express how lost I am with how it has developed over time. I just hope that this could possibly be read by someone that might understand as I'm beginning to loose my mind.

Male, 24

- The earliest I can remember been seriously anxious was when I was around 15, invited to go to the cinema with friends whenever I left the house I felt overwhelmed with anxiety. I often was sick before I left the house or before arriving to the bus stop. Typically after I was sick my feelings of sickness would go away for a while before returning depending on where and how I felt.

- I still to this day suffer from the above but it only effects major events, like going paint balling with friends or go-karting. Things that are in places I have never been or have an element of uncertainty that surrounds them.

- Over time I have developed what seems like morning sickness, any smell or trigger will cause me to gag, morning breath will often cause me to gag randomly until I brush my teeth. If I catch a smell or even my girlfriends freshly sprayed perfume in the morning I will gag. This is a massive problem when walking to work with all the fumes from the cars in the city centre.

- Any time I gag or feel like I am about to throw up I wiggle my hands, play with my fingers. Do anything to take my mind of it. I can sometimes have it go away in seconds, other times It gets worse and worse until I physically throw up.

- I am generally a confident person on the outside, I stand up for my friends and don't let myself get pushed around. I like the feeling of adrenaline but find myself feeling sick minutes later from anxiety.

- I have only ever had one panic attack, it happened in a car before we travelled to my girlfriends house, a place I have visited and even lived before. The trip in question made me overly anxious and I had just been eating which made me paranoid that if I was sick it would be food.

- Another random point I just realised, many of the times I am sick typically because its early in the morning it is very often not food. But instead... not to sound nasty, but flem (spit) slightly yellow and often feeling slightly acidic.

- One thing that could possibly help identify things, I used to sleep walk as a child very badly. I had a repeating nightmare that would cause me to feel as if I was been crushed in-between two animals (I have no fear of animals). During my sleep walk I would always vomit in random places. Even wake up finding myself cleaning up in hopes my parents wouldn't notice.

- I had a psychiatrist for my sleep walking and it went away gradually and slowly by the time I was around 10 or 12 if I remember rightly it has passed away.

- I have had fairly big factors and issues which have contributed to my anxiety as a teenager but after going through Univercity and getting a job and starting to settle down its just not going away. If anything it has recently been getting worse. I have got to the point where I will gag at least 5-20 times before I get to work. I often find myself breathing heavily and randomly while sitting at my desk at work for no real reason as all I am doing is working and listening to music.

- I have no idea what is going on in my head, I very rarely feel nervous when I'm anxious and don't even know what I am getting anxious about.

Sorry to vent, I had a feeling I would ramble on so thought it would be best to bullet point things. I don't mean to be rude or very much straight to the point. Just need help trying to find out what the hell is going on and has been going on for years now.

nimrodadler
07-25-2010, 09:31 AM
Hi,

A simple questions:
Did you checked, that everything is fine physically?
Did you tried to set a an appointment with some psychotherapist?

This is my opinion:
While you may find some comfort by finding someone that will understand you, I don't think that "understanding you" is the thing that will help you to start a change in your life.

You see, we are living our life within "frameworks" that set our position toward ourselves, toward other and toward our life in general. Now, the function of "understanding" is the function of anchoring our emotions, feeling and toughs, within "the same" framework. Wanting to be understood (which is the most obvious thing we want ) is to ask for confirmation, for staying on the same framework.

A change does not start by staying on the level of the obvious but by starting a journey toward the unknown, the not acceptable, something we reject from our awareness.

For change to occur, which I believe this is what you are expecting to happen, some way or another, and possibly don't know yet how exactly, an act of going out of the "framework" need to be initiated by you. This is your own responsibility to make the change in your life! And making a change is not a pleasant task.

I think that doing some act of checking that all is fine physically, and possibly setting an appointment for starting some treatment is the first thing you can do for taking real responsibility for the situation you describe.

Now, if you want to keep finding something without a treatment, here is something in your text that may give a hint to some direction. It looks like mechanism call 'negation' but you can't know for sure unless you make some elaboration starting from this point, and see if this can connect you with some new knowledge for uncovering the "framework" on which you actually ask:

Cite: " (I have no fear of animals) "

We do a small simulation now, I am asking then : "what do you mean by that? Why did you say that? " "What animal are you afraid of? "

try to build some associations network around it and see if you find something new, something, maybe in your past, that is not easy to accept, or you maybe forgot about yourself. You may also try to connect it with the term "smell"

Of course this is only simulation and not a replacement for anything that is even close to treatment.


=====
As I said

"I think that doing some act of checking that all is fine physically, and possibly setting an appointment for starting some treatment is the first thing you can do for taking real responsibility for the situation you describe. "


As you can see we are all have some kind of repetition within us (this is the 'understanding' part). The question is how do we manage it...

Take responsibility.
and take care

Pugzilla
07-25-2010, 11:55 AM
Thanks very much for getting back to me nimrodadler, I completely understand what you mean about making a change. Its such an obvious and simple thing to direct yourself towards but hard to achieve. I think over time I have just got to the point of expecting things to change because I'm getting older and not pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

Its stupid really because a good example of this would be something I have already done, during University I went to America by myself for a few weeks and at the beginning I felt like I was about to die, but as soon as I got moving I kept my mind on where I was going and that everything would be ok. Keeping myself occupied through the airports and connections I had an amazing time. When I got back I noticed my anxiety was gone, it took me a while to even realise as I get used to such day to day living I generally just look past it. Without even thinking about it, taking my mind of it as soon as possible.

I defiantly want a check up, just generally also. Make sure everything is ok and possibly think about improving my diet.

We and the misses have spoken about getting away for a holiday for some time, but with the money situation it hasn't helped. I think its about time I stop spending money on stupid things and get saving so we can get away from everything and I can start to get outside my comfort zone and begin to roll with life instead of avoiding the unknown.

nimrodadler
07-26-2010, 01:42 AM
Sound good,

Try not to fall into the trap of rationalization. This is not about achieving additional self-control, this is about making a change.

Small question: what did you mean by: "We and the misses?"

:roll:

louiseevans222
07-26-2010, 10:30 AM
It sounds really bad, I actaully suffered for 7 years, and have gotten over it 2 years ago...

I know its easy yot say just relax, because its hard...

Now, you obviously know this stuff as an anxiety sufferer that anxiety is all in the mind its a subconscious thing...

This is why you have it for so long, because your nervous system in your brain is still set high....

start setting it low, change your thinking...

I recommend you....

start practicing relaxation breathing excersices....

start meditating daily (nature meditation recommended)

and the last but not least the most powerful tool which I use that you can download free, and get insatnt access to is a tool that reprogrammes the mind...

all of these techniques i suggest you use DAILY, its no use using it one day and not the next...

If you really want to end your suffer and start living your life YOU CAN, you just have to be strong, and believe you can and practice the techniques recommended....

To get FREE instant access to this powerful tool that is able to change your life within weeks, click the link below....

All the best Pugzilla