johannes6
07-20-2010, 02:29 AM
I have a great technique that helps me a lot and I'm sure it could help you too!
First I would like to share what I feel when I'm in a social situation that freaks me out...You can skip to part 2 if you want to get right to my technique..*
I can be around people in a bar or night-club or on the beach for instance.That is quite fine..in fact it would be boring without them there right?However...family dinners or meetings where one fells trapped and chained to the table for God only knows how long...That is what really freaks me out...My fear is anyone asking me something or even just looking at me thereby bringing attention to me and I might just look very shy or uncomfortable...nervous....I use to go red in my face immediately,whether it would be an embarrassing question or not.Now when the attention is on me my hart beats so fast that I go white in my face...I don't go red any more but white..In a way it is better cause I have the excuse that I'm feeling a bit dizzy...at least I'm not embarrassed with a red face..
I hate who I become when I'm forced to go to family dinners with let's say my wife's family...I mean you can only not go so many times...I feel I'm forced to listen to the crap that people come up with just for the sake of talking and that really gets my blood boiling!At that point I almost hate myself saying to myself in silence...Why did you do this to yourself AGAIN!!??
I hate sitting there pretending to be interested what those people say just to keep the attention of myself.You all know the drill..
More than anything though...I still fear embarrassing myself with a very nervous expression as soon as the attention is on me....
PART 2
Ok now for my technique...I have to say all,yes all of my anxiety disappears when I'm in a room...and now the people can still be there....we can still be sitting all close around a table but the light is off and the only light in the room are a few small candles on the tables.I find when you sort of have to search for the other faces through candle light...by search I mean cause the room is now romantically dark an even if you would go red in your face now no one would see it...then..I'm completely at ease!!
When I have let's say a house party...I hang a t-shirt over the main lamp of the living room that almost completely drowns out the light and also light up a few candles...Not only will I have a great relaxing time now knowing that I won't embarrass myself but also I'm practising being around people..I'm pretending the light is on and that helps me!
Ask yourself this...You are attending night classes of some sort...The lights are all on and there are about 30 students...You are very anxious and quite nervous...you just keep to yourself praying the class will end soon and hoping that the teacher won't ask you anything...Suddenly there is a power cut....at that exact moment what is happening to your anxiety levels??It's dropping way way down there....My candle light theory is basically a power cut with a few spots of light...just enough but not too much..
I hope this can help you or at least make some social experiences enjoyable.It is a great place to start and build.There is no time like the present.Take the bull by the horns and do away with negative thinking..
Good luck to you all!
First I would like to share what I feel when I'm in a social situation that freaks me out...You can skip to part 2 if you want to get right to my technique..*
I can be around people in a bar or night-club or on the beach for instance.That is quite fine..in fact it would be boring without them there right?However...family dinners or meetings where one fells trapped and chained to the table for God only knows how long...That is what really freaks me out...My fear is anyone asking me something or even just looking at me thereby bringing attention to me and I might just look very shy or uncomfortable...nervous....I use to go red in my face immediately,whether it would be an embarrassing question or not.Now when the attention is on me my hart beats so fast that I go white in my face...I don't go red any more but white..In a way it is better cause I have the excuse that I'm feeling a bit dizzy...at least I'm not embarrassed with a red face..
I hate who I become when I'm forced to go to family dinners with let's say my wife's family...I mean you can only not go so many times...I feel I'm forced to listen to the crap that people come up with just for the sake of talking and that really gets my blood boiling!At that point I almost hate myself saying to myself in silence...Why did you do this to yourself AGAIN!!??
I hate sitting there pretending to be interested what those people say just to keep the attention of myself.You all know the drill..
More than anything though...I still fear embarrassing myself with a very nervous expression as soon as the attention is on me....
PART 2
Ok now for my technique...I have to say all,yes all of my anxiety disappears when I'm in a room...and now the people can still be there....we can still be sitting all close around a table but the light is off and the only light in the room are a few small candles on the tables.I find when you sort of have to search for the other faces through candle light...by search I mean cause the room is now romantically dark an even if you would go red in your face now no one would see it...then..I'm completely at ease!!
When I have let's say a house party...I hang a t-shirt over the main lamp of the living room that almost completely drowns out the light and also light up a few candles...Not only will I have a great relaxing time now knowing that I won't embarrass myself but also I'm practising being around people..I'm pretending the light is on and that helps me!
Ask yourself this...You are attending night classes of some sort...The lights are all on and there are about 30 students...You are very anxious and quite nervous...you just keep to yourself praying the class will end soon and hoping that the teacher won't ask you anything...Suddenly there is a power cut....at that exact moment what is happening to your anxiety levels??It's dropping way way down there....My candle light theory is basically a power cut with a few spots of light...just enough but not too much..
I hope this can help you or at least make some social experiences enjoyable.It is a great place to start and build.There is no time like the present.Take the bull by the horns and do away with negative thinking..
Good luck to you all!