jaseon_
07-15-2010, 07:39 PM
Precursor: My story will be long and detailed, I'm doing this as much for advice as for myself, I feel better just writing it.
I had my first taste of an Anxiety attack last year when I had a phlegm cough that lasted a few months. After about two months I became worried about it and the first indications of Medical Anxiety came through when I began thinking I was developing lung cancer or a serious lung related disease, I had my first anxiety attack as a result of stressing over this and went to the doctor the next day. She said I seemed healthy enough and it was probably nothing major and I left the doctor feeling a lot better, my anxiety had subsided for a while.
The major introduction occurred a few months later on a bus travelling home with my girlfriend, when I had a really weird feeling, like I couldn't remember how i got where I was and what was going on. It was like my mind suddenly woke up where I was and I was extremely confused and dazed. I became incredibly anxious about this after this moment and that night when I was lying in bed with my girlfriend I had a flash where I didn't recognize her and my fears and anxiety worsened. These sensations occurred at a turbulent time of my life, my girlfriend of a year was leaving overseas for 4 months in a week, i loved her dearly and worried for losing her. My two best friends whom I lived with had a very messy break up, which I was involved in and in many ways felt responsible for the messy way it had ended. And after 1 year of living 2500km away from my family and friends for University I was tired and sick of the people I lived with and the life i was living.
What followed was probably the worst week of my life. I had all the symptoms of anxiety without knowing what anxiety was; attacks lasting the entire day, restlessness, fear, heart palpitations, pains in my shoulders, neck, heart area, head, everything felt unreal like i was detached from reality, looking in the mirror scared the absolute shit out of me etc etc etc. The attack(s) didn't end until my girlfriend left for her holiday. I still felt incredibly anxious afterwards but by immersing myself in the MMO World of Warcraft and spending a lot of time alone in my room I slowly began to feel better.
I was seeing a doctor for most of this time, she gave me Lovan 20mg after my third or fourth consultation and only after my girlfriend had left and we realized the problem wasn't going away easily. It took me about 3 or 4 months to totally recover, thanks to reading about anxiety and it's effects, medication, closing myself off to the world and returning home for a while to my family. I gradually weened off my medication and whilst I remained worried and uncertain at times I was okay.
Recently I have started to feel the effects returning however, I am applying for the Army Reserves soon and I am scared of both how they will respond to my history with anxiety and of the feelings I've had lately that the sickness is coming back. Though free of attacks I have been confronted with the same feeling of worry and uncertainty, I wonder if the way I perceive the world has changed, if something is wrong with me mentally and psychically. My exercise routine has caused a number of aches and pains to riddle my body that continue to plague me with fear, most specifically a recurring dull ache in the region of my heart, causing me a number of sleepless nights.
I'm just so sick of constantly feeling like there's something wrong with me, like I'm not normal anymore, like I'm going to die, like I'm sick. Will medication really stop this? The lovan didn't really seem to do a great deal, time seemed like the best method of overcoming my concerns. I find myself having trouble to be happy and enjoy parts of my life anymore, as I'm constantly in fear for my health and mental state, I'm going to go to the doctor next week and get my heart checked out, maybe talk to them about medication. I'm only 23, i'm healthy as far as I know, I've never really been sick. I just want this shit to end.
I had my first taste of an Anxiety attack last year when I had a phlegm cough that lasted a few months. After about two months I became worried about it and the first indications of Medical Anxiety came through when I began thinking I was developing lung cancer or a serious lung related disease, I had my first anxiety attack as a result of stressing over this and went to the doctor the next day. She said I seemed healthy enough and it was probably nothing major and I left the doctor feeling a lot better, my anxiety had subsided for a while.
The major introduction occurred a few months later on a bus travelling home with my girlfriend, when I had a really weird feeling, like I couldn't remember how i got where I was and what was going on. It was like my mind suddenly woke up where I was and I was extremely confused and dazed. I became incredibly anxious about this after this moment and that night when I was lying in bed with my girlfriend I had a flash where I didn't recognize her and my fears and anxiety worsened. These sensations occurred at a turbulent time of my life, my girlfriend of a year was leaving overseas for 4 months in a week, i loved her dearly and worried for losing her. My two best friends whom I lived with had a very messy break up, which I was involved in and in many ways felt responsible for the messy way it had ended. And after 1 year of living 2500km away from my family and friends for University I was tired and sick of the people I lived with and the life i was living.
What followed was probably the worst week of my life. I had all the symptoms of anxiety without knowing what anxiety was; attacks lasting the entire day, restlessness, fear, heart palpitations, pains in my shoulders, neck, heart area, head, everything felt unreal like i was detached from reality, looking in the mirror scared the absolute shit out of me etc etc etc. The attack(s) didn't end until my girlfriend left for her holiday. I still felt incredibly anxious afterwards but by immersing myself in the MMO World of Warcraft and spending a lot of time alone in my room I slowly began to feel better.
I was seeing a doctor for most of this time, she gave me Lovan 20mg after my third or fourth consultation and only after my girlfriend had left and we realized the problem wasn't going away easily. It took me about 3 or 4 months to totally recover, thanks to reading about anxiety and it's effects, medication, closing myself off to the world and returning home for a while to my family. I gradually weened off my medication and whilst I remained worried and uncertain at times I was okay.
Recently I have started to feel the effects returning however, I am applying for the Army Reserves soon and I am scared of both how they will respond to my history with anxiety and of the feelings I've had lately that the sickness is coming back. Though free of attacks I have been confronted with the same feeling of worry and uncertainty, I wonder if the way I perceive the world has changed, if something is wrong with me mentally and psychically. My exercise routine has caused a number of aches and pains to riddle my body that continue to plague me with fear, most specifically a recurring dull ache in the region of my heart, causing me a number of sleepless nights.
I'm just so sick of constantly feeling like there's something wrong with me, like I'm not normal anymore, like I'm going to die, like I'm sick. Will medication really stop this? The lovan didn't really seem to do a great deal, time seemed like the best method of overcoming my concerns. I find myself having trouble to be happy and enjoy parts of my life anymore, as I'm constantly in fear for my health and mental state, I'm going to go to the doctor next week and get my heart checked out, maybe talk to them about medication. I'm only 23, i'm healthy as far as I know, I've never really been sick. I just want this shit to end.