The way forward for me?

[panicsucks]

I'm loosing control of things in life... i've not had a job since december 2009 my money situation is terrible, i cant go to the jobcenter (UK) and get my entitlements sorted out as im too scared about panic yet if i dont i get anxious from no money etc... i really dont know what to do...

it all started in 1995 i walked into a room where my grandad had passed away and i saw his body which at 9 years old scared the hell out of me, since then iv had health anxiety, thn my parents split up in 2001 and this bought on panic attacks, i took marajunana to try and escape the maddness in my life this i think has made things worse in the long run...

on top of this my mum may have breast cancer (things look positive but not been told for sure yet) i have a girl friend of 5 years and shes very supportive but things like going to cinema etc like normal couples do we have done about 2 or 3 times.... she wants to do more but i cant and its stressful...

all of this is adding up and i am getting more frequent heart palputations and worry (iv had heart palputations for years now but recently there more noticable and the more i worry the more there are)

i need your advice guys i need to know how to fix myself up i want to do well in life and just be happy i cant ever enjoy anything i cant ever lookforward to things... everything has a downer on it

another thing is should i stay out of a job for now and work out the anxiety? or get work and do it at the same time? work stresses me

what should i do ? i really want to stop all this now andenjoy my life!! :| :cry:

[SophieLouise]

Don't try and do too much at once, Take small steps. If your afraid of going out e.t.c try going to these places, but in small steps, A little further each day. I think you should look for a job, although it will be very stressful at first it may help you in the long run to start moving things forward.

I have a part-time job and I find it very difficult to manage going to work. But I know that by giving up and losing my job I would be letting my anxiety win.

I know its easy to say but its true, don't stop fighting :)

I hope this was some help, Good luck :)

[michaelcheney]

Hats off to you for having the courage to post here, that takes a lot for you to do.

Yes I agree that looking for work might be the best option for you.

Also try to live in the moment more and try to focus only on what is right in front of you at any given moment in time rather than dwelling or future-imagining.

This way you can possibly break things down into bite size pieces.

And remember there are always people here supporting you and helping you. And you obviously have a loving girlfriend too who is there for you.

Take it steady, take it slow and take it easy (if you can!).

All the best my friend.