Anxiety WAY out of proportion to situation

[freelancemomma]

Hi all,

I'm a new member. Please don't be too harsh with me if you can help it. I'm fully aware that my current anxiety is hugely out of proportion to the situation. I'm ashamed of myself for feeling this way, but my reaction is so visceral and intense that I haven't figured out a way to control it.

The only thing that "happened" tonight is that my Grade 8 daughter didn't win the language arts award at the graduation ceremony. She had a 95 average in all language arts, everyone thought she would win, and even her teacher hinted that she would probably win. A boy in the same class as her (one of four Grade 8 classes) ended up winning instead. Big deal, right?

For some bizzarre reason, I experienced the whole thing as a public humiliation. (The auditorium was full of parents who had known my daughter for years.) I also start to catastrophize, worrying that my daughter will lose her passion for writing, become ordinary, struggle in life, etc.

I have an elephant on my chest and my whole body is wound up with tension. I think I'll have to start meds again today. I know from experience that when my anxiety gets this bad, all the self-talk in the world doesn't make a dent in it.

I HATE being this way. I'm enormously grateful for my wonderful daughter (and son). Even though I never lose sight of how lucky I am, I still go through this ridiculous and physically draining anxiety whenever things don't go their way -- especially things that mean a lot to them.

Overinvested in my kids? Guilty as charged. But it's not like I don't have a life of my own: I'm a successful freelance writer, I love my work, and I'm constantly seeking new challenges.

Right now I would really welcome some support from people who may understand the irrationality and intensity of the whole thing. Thanks in advance.

Freelance

[kingston]

Freelancemomma, don't really have any advice but just wanted to say to you that I do the exact same thing!! I find my children's disappointments harder to bear than my own. I find these things especially stressful if I feel that the result was unfair. For example, I still haven't got over a dance competition that my daughter came second in mainly due to the fact that it was sooo obviously not the right result as stated by everyone watching and while my daughter has long since moved on, I still am annoyed about it!

[Going Home]

Yes that is the crazy thing about all this is that when you look/I look at what is causing all of this anxiety - it really is no big deal. So easy to say and so hard to focus on. I also have children in competitive sports and I know how hard it is. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for you - all of us but I'm looking for answers also. Just hang in there and remember that 2 months from now you will probably chuckle at the whole thing.
Good luck.