geekgirl
06-21-2010, 04:37 PM
First off, I have a history of anxiety. I'm 21 now, and it started when I went through puberty, then died off, then just recently, within the past 6 months, it flared up again. My doctor has be on Lorazepam just for use during panic attacks. Within the past week and a half, the anxiety's petered off for the most part. I've got 18 out of the 20 pills left.
I just started a relationship with a HECK of a guy. He's sweet, caring, incredibly polite, gentle, loves my parents...he's as close to perfect as heaven will allow. He lives about 2 and a half hours away for the time being, which sucks. But soon, he's moving closer to me.
I met him Saturday, for the first time, and what a weekend. It was incredible. We've got so much in common, we're both Christian, geeks, and just...hopeless romantics.
Suddenly, today at work, my semi-dormant anxiety flared up, and started eating away at me. My mind raced with thoughts of him with another woman (he's my first real relationship, he's had several others, since he's older), and that maybe I'm not the only one. Maybe he's moving to <insert city> to be closer to another woman!
You need to understand, this man has openly told me he loves the heck out of me, and he wants to spend the rest of our lives together. And just today, he texted me and told me he might have a job, 10 minutes away from me! Why the heck is my mind playing at my emotions like this? Before I was having anxiety for anxiety's sake. Is my anxiety just pinning itself on something in particular now? Is my low self esteem the cause?
I just started a relationship with a HECK of a guy. He's sweet, caring, incredibly polite, gentle, loves my parents...he's as close to perfect as heaven will allow. He lives about 2 and a half hours away for the time being, which sucks. But soon, he's moving closer to me.
I met him Saturday, for the first time, and what a weekend. It was incredible. We've got so much in common, we're both Christian, geeks, and just...hopeless romantics.
Suddenly, today at work, my semi-dormant anxiety flared up, and started eating away at me. My mind raced with thoughts of him with another woman (he's my first real relationship, he's had several others, since he's older), and that maybe I'm not the only one. Maybe he's moving to <insert city> to be closer to another woman!
You need to understand, this man has openly told me he loves the heck out of me, and he wants to spend the rest of our lives together. And just today, he texted me and told me he might have a job, 10 minutes away from me! Why the heck is my mind playing at my emotions like this? Before I was having anxiety for anxiety's sake. Is my anxiety just pinning itself on something in particular now? Is my low self esteem the cause?