High anxiety and job loss

[harryandthephoenix]

Hello everyone,
I am new to the forum. I suffer from anxiety and depression, but it has never affected me in my work life before...in fact I've always been a top performer on the job. This year, things have been much different. Between August 2009 and March of 2010 I lost 5 family members. The hardest one was my mother in law who died after a battle w/cancer ending in a debilitating stroke. The morning after she passed I received a call that a friend of the family had committed suicide (his suicide had nothing to do w/mom's death.) His children are best friends w/my children, and his suicide on top of Grandma's death was devasting. 3 weeks later my step brother dropped dead from a brain anuerysm at 32 years of age. I was losing sleep, and trying to manage my own anxiety along with my children, husband, and work needs. As a result, my job performance slipped, and I made some mistakes over the last several months. This morning I was fired from my job. Since I've always taken pride in my work record, and have never had issues at work before I am in shock. I only slept one hour last night (as I feared this was coming) and ate very little today. My stomach is in knots, and my arms burn. It is now1:35am, and I am still fighting waves of stomach pain and intense fear. I really need to reach out to a group of people that may understand. I know that in the end that this will be a growing experience, but for now I feel like a failure and am having a hard time "sitting" with this. Any comments or help would be appreciated.

[mhdwjw]

Hi, my god what a terrible loss you have suffered lately, so sorry. I understand what its like to suffer depression and anxiety and can totally relate to the stomach knot and stomach pain. Have you access to a psych or counsellor? I would suggest going off to the doctor, you may need some medication to get you through this difficult time. You have already acknowledged that in the end this will be a growing experience so you know you will get through it and I think that it is the first step to recovery. Educate yourself about anxiety and how it is created. Get yourself some help NOW.

[Alvinmg]

Hello,
After reading what you have been through in losing 5 family members I feel for you. I'm so sorry that one person had to go through that much so no wonder why you are filled with anxiety.

After going through what you did no wonder why your job suffered. I am some what dissappointed with the company you work for. I work for a large chemical plant and I am an Area Leader for the plant. If I had one of my employees lose 5 family members like you did I would have given them time off to deal with the issues.

I know what you are going through with the knots in the stomach and can't sleep. You need to get some medication to help you through these bad times. I finally went the get help and I now take xanax when I can't sleep. I don't take much though, only when I need it.

If you ever want to chat about all of this let me know and we can do an IM.

[palow]

That's an enormous amount of grief that you're dealing with and you should seek a professional counsellor. It would be too much of a burden to unload on friends and relatives.

I think you should also see perhaps someone in the spiritual community to help you use the experience to grow. You're ashes now but maybe you're a phoenix about to be reborn.

If you want alternative spiritual guidance, there are usually good ones to be found at meditation centres, yoga studios and some Reiki practitioners are good too. I went through something a year ago called 7th Path Self Hypnosis and it really helped me clear out a lot of negative baggage.

Good luck,
Patrick

[freelancemomma]

If this is your first time being let go, it's no wonder you're having such a hard time. Perhaps my experience will help put things in perspective a little. I've been let go many times in my life, both from Joe jobs and from "real" jobs that I enjoyed. I would start out with a bang, but after a few years or months (usually months) I would inevitably say or do something to screw things up. After being fired from my last job (managing editor), I decided to start working as a freelance writer. Fifteen years later I'm more successful than I'd ever been as an employee. I even wrote a (published) book about my misadventures in the workplace.

Don't let any of this define you. It's not about your competence or worth. You were fired from one job. That's it, end of sentence. Focus on getting an even better employment (or self-employment) situation and try to see this as an opportunity that would never have opened up if you hadn't been fired.

HTH Freelance

p.s. I hope I didn't sound too glib. I deal with my own brand of anxiety (having nothing to do with work) and I know all too well how debilitating it can be.

[harryandthephoenix]

Wow!
Your post was AMAZING! I have always loved to write, and it was recently suggested that I try freelance. What you wrote was an inspiration. I'm a little stuck on how to get started, but I have some great ideas whirling around in my head! I've never been in the field of journalism, but I do know I have talent. (Hey... JK Rowling was on the skids when she wrote "Harry Potter"!
I'm doing so much better now than I was went I posted this. I still fight with waves of anxiety, but I'm dealing with it better now. My faith has kicked in, and I know I will come out the other side of this a better person in the end. Thanks so much for your suggestion!

[skeletonsong]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I have also had family members die recently, and a sister which is I'll. When so many things happen at once it is impossible to deal with on your own, and you should find a professional which can help you work through your feelings of anxiety, and I would guess anger. If possible maybe you can spend some time on stress leave/unemployment to give your self some time to grieve and sort out your feelings.

I am surprised that your company didn't realize you were struggling and give you some paid leave. I guess I am just lucky that I work for a company that has been very accommodating in regards to my anxiety issues.

[bsmooth1]

o my god let me say that i am sorry for all your loss in such a short time. They is really horrible set of circumstances. Just to have so many loved ones to pass in such a short time is really crazy.

To add on top of things being fired from your job absolutely sucks completely. I'm sure it is their loss. You said you took pride in your work and your job so it does not make since that they would fire you without giving you any good reason. They should have given you a reason. the fact that you have been feeling all these stomach pains and trouble sleeping is a horrible thing.

Have you gotten a chance to release all of your anger. Not sure if you bottled all your anger up and keep it to your self. But i know if i had been fired after working so hard and being so loyal to a company. I'd be really pissed. Maybe the anger that you may be bottled needs to be released and worked out of your system.