aporeo
06-15-2010, 02:01 PM
Hi everyone...
I have had a fear of any kind of public speaking since I was in elementary school (I'm 41 now). Thanks to years of medication and therapy, I've gotten to the point where I can speak up in meetings at work. I still hate it, but I can usually get through it. My boss knows I have a problem with public speaking, and she's always pushing me to do more. I've had to endure giving a couple of small presentations that she wanted me to do--they were not really related to my job, but she thinks she's helping me this way. I've told her I don't think it's helping at all, but she's sure she's right.
At a staff meeting the other day, she announced that I would be teaching an adult education workshop for our community in September. That was the first I knew of that. There is just no way I can do it. All I can think to do now is tell her that if my job is now going to require that I give presentations/do public speaking, I will need to resign, and she can find someone more suitable. There are plenty of other reasons why I would like to leave this job, and I could probably afford to, but I'm afraid the stress of not having a job might be worse. Or, maybe it will be just the kick I need to finally take action. I'm also angry that she did this without talking to me, and don't want to work with a boss I cannot trust. I suppose another option is that I try to find some way to deal with it, but I feel so worn out. And I don't understand why it's so important that I do it anyway; I do find ways to contribute above and beyond my job. I don't understand why this particular thing is so very important.
I don't think there's really a question in there--I just needed to get it out. But if anyone has thoughts about any of this I'd be glad to hear them. I'm sure my perception of the problem is warped.
I have had a fear of any kind of public speaking since I was in elementary school (I'm 41 now). Thanks to years of medication and therapy, I've gotten to the point where I can speak up in meetings at work. I still hate it, but I can usually get through it. My boss knows I have a problem with public speaking, and she's always pushing me to do more. I've had to endure giving a couple of small presentations that she wanted me to do--they were not really related to my job, but she thinks she's helping me this way. I've told her I don't think it's helping at all, but she's sure she's right.
At a staff meeting the other day, she announced that I would be teaching an adult education workshop for our community in September. That was the first I knew of that. There is just no way I can do it. All I can think to do now is tell her that if my job is now going to require that I give presentations/do public speaking, I will need to resign, and she can find someone more suitable. There are plenty of other reasons why I would like to leave this job, and I could probably afford to, but I'm afraid the stress of not having a job might be worse. Or, maybe it will be just the kick I need to finally take action. I'm also angry that she did this without talking to me, and don't want to work with a boss I cannot trust. I suppose another option is that I try to find some way to deal with it, but I feel so worn out. And I don't understand why it's so important that I do it anyway; I do find ways to contribute above and beyond my job. I don't understand why this particular thing is so very important.
I don't think there's really a question in there--I just needed to get it out. But if anyone has thoughts about any of this I'd be glad to hear them. I'm sure my perception of the problem is warped.