Anxiety and relationship

[gracious]

Hi everyone,

Am new here, and just wanted to share my story.

I've been struggling with anxiety about my relationship for almost 3 months now. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half - a year and a half that's been the happiest of my life so far. We just make eachother happy, and I can be myself with him. I can see myself with him for a long, long time - forever if it all goes right!

But a few months ago it was like someone turned a switch on in my head. A stupid thought jumped in my head - 'what if i'm using my boyfriend emotionally like my ex did to me?'. I know that's not true, but ever since then my hearts been beating so hard, i feel a pressure on my chest and I jsut feel nauseous from the anxiety.

I have thoughts like 'well, you're not going to be together in a week so don't worry about it', and 'you're not good enough for him' and 'do you love him anyway?'. It upsets me so much and I end up in tears, sobbing almost uncontrollably on occasions.

Then it goes away for a while, and returns to scare me. We went to visit his family on the weekend, and I love spending time with them but I just felt nervous. Then I got a thought that said 'why are you here? you are just lying to everyone and you're pretending'.

If I ignore the thoughts, I can enjoy the moment and I even feel a little 'surge' of emotion when I'm around him. But if I let the thoughts take hold, even for a moment, I get this pressure on my chest and I become preoccupied with the thought that I'm just a massive fraud.

My boyfriend is lovely, and does anything he can to support me, and I would do anything for him. So why do I feel so anxious? It's silly! I feel like I'm normal on the outside, but something else has crawled in and I'm a mess on the inside.

Sorry for the long post. Thankyou for reading.

[joshycoxville]

trust me i know how it feels not with how you feel about your boyfriend but the hole obsessive unwanted thoughts thing, apart from mine was that i stole something ? lol and i new i hadn't this then progressed to "im going mad" all the time costantly "im going mad" i thought about every thing i was doing and questioning myself and my personality lol ive always been quite wacky but i started think why am i like this...

the truth is its only your thoughts i helped mine by saying stop like litteral screaming it out in my head everytime i thought about it and overtime i could say stop before i even thought about it and it went away then it came back haha then it went away and this is just how it is every 3-4 weeks it comes back for 2 weeks and them im okay again!

but as i said dont let your thoughts trouble you just try not to think so much and also when those adverts come on the t.v about neglected kids and kids in 3rd world country's, that isnt no way of life isit ? think of other people and reolize how well of you are trust it does help.


god is love...
josh

[Lyndsey]

okay I might seem a bit harsh buts only because I use to suffer with this alot.

You are letting this ruining a perfectly good relationship, what I think you are doing is that you are scared of the end you are so happy you are scared that someone is going to take it from you so you do it yourself. you take the happiness away yourself because your scared.

My advise is just to live for the now enjoy what you have and not be scared of being by yourself.

If a relationship is ment to be it will be if it fizzles out then its not the end of the world at the end of the day you need to know yourself and feelings before you can give yourself to someone else.

Love that young is not that hard you are in the honey moon period ENJOY IT!!! untill the real work starts.

Please stop listening to the nagging thoughts you will know if he is not right trust me on that one.

I have been in my relationship for 2 years now and we were best friends for 6 months first if I ever get those thoughts I tell him he hates it but I do I suggest you dont do that unless you guys are really open. I vowed to go into this relationship with my eyes open and if something bugs me I will tell him and he does the same.

I was in a relationship before that and I single-handed distoryed it I done it un propose so I didn't get hurt but in the end I was the only one crying.

I dont want you to do the same, just do my this one favor Enjoy being in love, when the real thoughts happen you will know.