LIVING ALONE

[cskrone]

Hey Guys -

I am a 26 year old male that lives in NY. I have been with roommates for many many years and am now about to live alone! One great thing is that I'm living very very very close to friends (within 5-10 minutes of all of them) and the space has a balcony, roof garden, doorman building, and I can decorate really nicely!

The thing I'm worried about is lonliness. BUT, on a positive, I can also learn how to be SELF sufficient as I've ALWAYS depended on roommates to come up with the plans etc. I loved having roommates but I became a bit depressed recently and don't like them seeing me this way and would rather work to correct everything on my own and see them during the week for dinner etc.

I'm seeing a naturopathic doctor here in NYC that is VERY versed in anxiety and depression (has even written a book specifically on it!) and we are testing everything and I'm going to begin amino acids/vitamin/mineral therapy + see a CBT specialist as well to get everything under control. I am very excited about getting a handle on this as Paxil worked WONDERS for me for 2 years and then stopped working. I think that my serotonin stores are used up and the SSRI's cannot work well if there is super low serotonin levels anyway. I'm in a high stress job and I think my diet along with the stress gradually depleted my stores of serotonin.

I feel that if I balanced my brain a bit and lessoned my anxiety, then I'd love living alone but it's hard to live alone when your anxiety levels are high (social anxiety).

I'm doing great in my career and moving up, have amazing friends, supportive parents, and most everything that would make ANYONE happy but I know from my Paxil experience (where I changed to be more calm, happy, and content) that I can get my brain balanced again with time and effort and the right supplements/diet/CBT/etc.

Let me know your thoughts on living alone etc.! :roll:

[saintric]

Hi just read your post and I can relate to the fear of living alone I currently am a single dad looking after my 2 year old daughter we live at my parents house right now but will soon be moving into our own house.

I am scared if im honest I have never lived alone before I suppose my greatest fear is somthing happening to me and my daughter being alone in the house such a horrible thought.

I guess thats somthing you dont have to worry about of course but suffering a panic attack or anxiety while alone is worse because you have no one to reassure you and then you sit there thinking shall i ring someone? maybe im overreacting? what if somthings wrong? these are the questions I think id be asking myself when this happens

Maybe after you have done it for a while you will fit into your new set up of being totally self sufficient? it might even help your problems knowing the only person you have to rely on is yourself and become a very strong person for it

[Qay]

agree with saintric. when we know we have only ourself to do everything, not to say we dont need help from others, but the situation of being independent is rather different, it will make us much more stronger.
i do agree with cksrone, somtimes we dont wish others to see us when we are down, and hope to deal with it on our own. but those are the times when the negative thots are start invading our mind. so we need to stay focus to keep the positive thots and have happier life.

[cskrone]

Hey Guys -

Thanks for the advice. I am 26 yrs old and want to become much more dependent on MYSELF to make me happy as well. When I live with others, I tend to go along with THEIR plans and I am happy because I'm always busy doing THEIR things. But, I think maybe moving in alone and having to finally come up and make my own plans and be responsible for MYSELF will be a good thing.

Plus, I live in New York within 5 minutes of many of my friends so it's not like I'm isolated. I can walk outside my apartment and walk 30 seconds to my friends apt.

I think living alone once in your life is a good thing. It also will, in a way, force me to get a girlfriend if I get lonely.

I am growing up and won't be able to depend on others which scares me but makes me happy. I need to OWN THIS! :)