Lana
05-23-2010, 02:57 PM
My name is Lana, I'm 24, and I have general anxiety disorder and depression (diagnosed). I also believe I have Avoidant Personality Disorder after months of research, but I will say that is undiagnosed (I don't like to say I have something unless it is confirmed by a health professional). I just have a lot of APD symptoms - I have had them since childhood.
I did counseling for 2 years, and I was on Zoloft for 1 year during that time. I have not had counseling for about a year now - I found that counseling did a lot of good for me in terms of managing my symptoms and going into my past to figure out my triggers and confront my "issues."
However, during the last few months, I feel like I am relapsing and falling into new problems. My original problems were depression and anxiety in the sense that I felt suicidal, extremely low about myself, and highly anxious and on-edge towards criticism/judgement/ridicule/embarrassment. I also had dysfunctional relationship problems with family, friends, and romantic partners. Now, it's more like a strong fear of people and the world around me. Becoming more aware of my past problems and childhood have brought this problem up.
I am absolutely petrified of the outside world now. I don't trust people as a whole anymore - I am constantly afraid people from my past will come find and hurt me in some way (and there's no logical or sane basis for it) I no longer go out to bars with friends because I am afraid someone will slip something into my drink or someone will hurt me while I am even slightly intoxicated (and I don't really drink that much to begin with) I also refuse to go out by myself at night now. I am also afraid of the Internet - cyberstalking, identity theft, people locating your personal information, etc. I find that more and more I am slipping back into my fantasy worlds that I have used so long to cope. I like to stay inside as much as possible and daydream. If I don't escape through my imagination, I find myself highly anxious the whole day, thinking of "worst case scenarios" and driving myself crazy.
So that's my story. I apologize for the length - I have never been on a self-help forum so I'm not too sure how introductions should go. Overall, I would like to help others while working on my own anxiety issues along the way. Looking forward to meeting and talking to you all!
I did counseling for 2 years, and I was on Zoloft for 1 year during that time. I have not had counseling for about a year now - I found that counseling did a lot of good for me in terms of managing my symptoms and going into my past to figure out my triggers and confront my "issues."
However, during the last few months, I feel like I am relapsing and falling into new problems. My original problems were depression and anxiety in the sense that I felt suicidal, extremely low about myself, and highly anxious and on-edge towards criticism/judgement/ridicule/embarrassment. I also had dysfunctional relationship problems with family, friends, and romantic partners. Now, it's more like a strong fear of people and the world around me. Becoming more aware of my past problems and childhood have brought this problem up.
I am absolutely petrified of the outside world now. I don't trust people as a whole anymore - I am constantly afraid people from my past will come find and hurt me in some way (and there's no logical or sane basis for it) I no longer go out to bars with friends because I am afraid someone will slip something into my drink or someone will hurt me while I am even slightly intoxicated (and I don't really drink that much to begin with) I also refuse to go out by myself at night now. I am also afraid of the Internet - cyberstalking, identity theft, people locating your personal information, etc. I find that more and more I am slipping back into my fantasy worlds that I have used so long to cope. I like to stay inside as much as possible and daydream. If I don't escape through my imagination, I find myself highly anxious the whole day, thinking of "worst case scenarios" and driving myself crazy.
So that's my story. I apologize for the length - I have never been on a self-help forum so I'm not too sure how introductions should go. Overall, I would like to help others while working on my own anxiety issues along the way. Looking forward to meeting and talking to you all!