jjnyj
05-20-2010, 09:18 AM
So I think I have had some underlying anxiety for the past 7 years or so. I had an issue in college for a semester when I was really bad and did not want to go out at all, but I though I just had mono. Well it never went away and then I was prescribed Zoloft before I returned back to school. So I was on that for about a month, but then made the conscious decision not to be on meds (not that its bad, its just I did not want to be on them forever).
So a few years passed, graduated, got a good job, and somewhere along the way anxiety crept back in but it really didnt effect my life all too much. So last early last year, it hit me head on. Health anxiety started it all. I had been drinking a 2 glasses of wine every couple nights during the work week and then maybe a night on the weekend i would have 4 or 5 (Im in my late 20's now). So i had always been neurotic to the point I would search for symptoms of things online and self diagnose things and give myself conditions and i read an article on self medicating anxiety with alcohol and how it leads to alcholism and I freaked myself out thinking I was an alcoholic. I never drank during the day, I never missed any work or family functions, no DUIs, in fact i never really got that drunk because I cant stand not being in control and doing dumb things.
So now my latest anxiety is over alcohol (i guess thats better then the heart attach anxiety i had). But it's weird to me because I have a drink or 2 once or twice a month now (out to dinner or wedding) and im totally fine. I have no urge to continue to drink a lot when I start. Nothing bad happens. but i get anxious thinking that, "oh there I go self medicating, masking my real anxiety" Can anyone relate to this at all? This is one anxiety Im having a hard time shaking and think about it a lot!
So a few years passed, graduated, got a good job, and somewhere along the way anxiety crept back in but it really didnt effect my life all too much. So last early last year, it hit me head on. Health anxiety started it all. I had been drinking a 2 glasses of wine every couple nights during the work week and then maybe a night on the weekend i would have 4 or 5 (Im in my late 20's now). So i had always been neurotic to the point I would search for symptoms of things online and self diagnose things and give myself conditions and i read an article on self medicating anxiety with alcohol and how it leads to alcholism and I freaked myself out thinking I was an alcoholic. I never drank during the day, I never missed any work or family functions, no DUIs, in fact i never really got that drunk because I cant stand not being in control and doing dumb things.
So now my latest anxiety is over alcohol (i guess thats better then the heart attach anxiety i had). But it's weird to me because I have a drink or 2 once or twice a month now (out to dinner or wedding) and im totally fine. I have no urge to continue to drink a lot when I start. Nothing bad happens. but i get anxious thinking that, "oh there I go self medicating, masking my real anxiety" Can anyone relate to this at all? This is one anxiety Im having a hard time shaking and think about it a lot!