buzzthefuzz
05-07-2010, 10:05 AM
alright theres im concerned about so ill start at the beginning...
im a huge pot head, for one. or at least i was. one day about a month ago i came home from working at the deli at the grocery store down the road, i remember i had made myself a huge bologna sandwich and i was eating it. i dk if its significant but i thought it might have been contaminated. anyway i started taking bong hits like i usually do, when all of a sudden i started feeling way more messed up then ive ever felt before. and it wasnt just me being really stoned, ive been there before and this didnt feel anything like that. it was like i completely lost my depth perception and my sense of where i was in space. it was hard to tell up from down. i was about to go to the hospital but since i dont have health insurance i decided to wait it out and sat on the couch. two of my friends were there with me the whole time. the next thing that happened was i got an incredibly bad headache in the back of my head that just seemed to get worse and worse, then i felt it start moving from the back of my head to the front. it felt like it was ripping my brain in half. it got even worse when it was in the front of my head and it was to the point where my mind was just blank and i had to surrender to the pain. before this anxiety wasnt even in my vocab, i was just chill all the time. but i felt so messed up afterwards i began to get paranoid and delusional about being abducted by aliens. ive always prided myself on having a completely rational mind and ive always been able to view things completely objectively. i dont believe these things anymore but it took a while for the delusional thoughts to go away. i havent felt like myself since, like im not completely a part of reality anymore. ive had this unyielding feeling thats theres always something wrong. i get super anxious all the time. theres this running dialogue in my head that i have to make a constant effort to ignore or else ill have an anxiety attack. i feel super depressed at random times and rarely ill feel almost manic happy. i cant appreciate anything in the world around me like i used too. i cant tell if these feelings are getting worse or not, just living on a day to day basis is weird, i can never just sit back and enjoy the moment without worrying about whats wrong with me, no matter how hard i try. ive been meditating and looking for anything else to finally take my mind off whatever happened to me, but nothing works. im starting to get dark splotches underneath my eyes. does anyone have any idea what happened to me that night?
i prolly should also add that im only 19 and have been under a lot of stress
im a huge pot head, for one. or at least i was. one day about a month ago i came home from working at the deli at the grocery store down the road, i remember i had made myself a huge bologna sandwich and i was eating it. i dk if its significant but i thought it might have been contaminated. anyway i started taking bong hits like i usually do, when all of a sudden i started feeling way more messed up then ive ever felt before. and it wasnt just me being really stoned, ive been there before and this didnt feel anything like that. it was like i completely lost my depth perception and my sense of where i was in space. it was hard to tell up from down. i was about to go to the hospital but since i dont have health insurance i decided to wait it out and sat on the couch. two of my friends were there with me the whole time. the next thing that happened was i got an incredibly bad headache in the back of my head that just seemed to get worse and worse, then i felt it start moving from the back of my head to the front. it felt like it was ripping my brain in half. it got even worse when it was in the front of my head and it was to the point where my mind was just blank and i had to surrender to the pain. before this anxiety wasnt even in my vocab, i was just chill all the time. but i felt so messed up afterwards i began to get paranoid and delusional about being abducted by aliens. ive always prided myself on having a completely rational mind and ive always been able to view things completely objectively. i dont believe these things anymore but it took a while for the delusional thoughts to go away. i havent felt like myself since, like im not completely a part of reality anymore. ive had this unyielding feeling thats theres always something wrong. i get super anxious all the time. theres this running dialogue in my head that i have to make a constant effort to ignore or else ill have an anxiety attack. i feel super depressed at random times and rarely ill feel almost manic happy. i cant appreciate anything in the world around me like i used too. i cant tell if these feelings are getting worse or not, just living on a day to day basis is weird, i can never just sit back and enjoy the moment without worrying about whats wrong with me, no matter how hard i try. ive been meditating and looking for anything else to finally take my mind off whatever happened to me, but nothing works. im starting to get dark splotches underneath my eyes. does anyone have any idea what happened to me that night?
i prolly should also add that im only 19 and have been under a lot of stress