My Anxiety

[Cissnei]

I have always been a shy and sensitive child, particularly with criticism and rejection. I would be relatively confident and outgoing with my family members, but around strangers, I would completely clam up. As a child I suffered with undiagnosed OCD-like behaviours; I would wash my hands compulsively, endlessly check things and bite my nails until they bled. I used to be afraid of school and I wouldn't answer the regester to my name.

When I joined secondary school, I became deathly afraid of drama, which I had once a week. My panic disorder reached its peak; I would throw up, be unable to eat, and worry about each lesson for months in advance. I also developed a phobia of dentists due to a surgical procedure. The anxiety about drama and dentists became general. I became anxious ALL of the time about EVERYTHING. I lived pretty much like an agrophobic for several years; only leaving the house to go to school and occassionally to go to friends houses. My agrophobia/anxiety eased up for a while; I was able to go out, have a relationship etc, but it is back again in full swing.

I have taken diazepam only for a few days, had CBT and taken betablockers.

The diazepam worked brilliantly but I only took it for two days. I am scared to ask for it for any longer. The CBT helped briefly but is so expensive and I found it too hard to impliment the thought processes. The betablockers did nothing at all for me. I am now taken herbal anxiety tablets that are natural. I really want to go on medication but I am afraid of the consequence.s

My anxiety smptomes are EXTREME fatigue, I think the anxiety wears me down. The worst part is a choking sensation in my throat which causes me to gag. I don't know if anyone else has had this symptom but it makes life unbearable. If anyone has, how do you cope?

[Cissnei]

Here are a list of ways my anxiety effects me:

* I hate making telephone calls, especially if someone is in the room with me.
* I hate eating at restaurants, clubbing etc.
* I get panicked at airports checking in and out.
* I have to constantly check my appearance. I am anxious I don't look right.
* I hate eating in front of people.
* I hate making eye contact, speaking out loud, presentations.
* I hate people showing interest in me or situations where I have to be the centre of attention.
* I sometimes can't eat.
* I find it difficult to assert myself.
* I constantly have a choking sensation.

[flare_2004]

Hello. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. I can relate to you in a lot of ways. Especially with the not being able to eat, choking sensation. I have had episodes in the past where I couldn't eat for days, sometimes weeks and I got by only on liquids/very soft foods. As a result lost lots of weight. It is really quite horrible, I know how you feel.

It has gotten better over time, by itself it seems and sometimes with the help of meds. I still struggle with it from time to time, but not as nearly as bad as before. I sort of learned to talk myself out of the anxiety and fear of choking, and just do it. That seems to help me most of all.

Also I definitely notice that my anxiety itself wears me down emotionally, physically and just makes me feel exhausted, tired, fatigued in general.

Hope this helps, and you are not alone on this. :)