I hope this helps

[Bees]

Hi all,

I've had a long history of mental illness. I'd beet depressed from around the age of 6 to 15. After that, it was replaced with anxiety. I kicked it for a while after it was diagnosed following a total breakdown in the middle of class. That lasted until I was 18. I'm 19 now and it's back. It seems to follow relationships, I'm pretty sure I have major issues with trusting men. I have many close male friends so it's not that I dislike them, I just keep them away from my heart.

I'm in a relationship with a great guy but whenever he leaves I get irrational fears that he's off with a mistress. Literally every time. When he goes outside to have a smoke, I interpret it as getting away from me to send a message to some woman.

I don't want to be like this, I'm going to hurt him and I know it. I don't want to be someones psycho ex-girlfriend either. I'm hoping I can find someone to talk to here, someone I can tell everything to and who will give me some sort of perspective because I feel crazy and out of control. Failing that, just knowing someone is reading this, that I got it all out there, makes me feel a lot better.

Thanks,
Louise