jacktheman23
04-12-2010, 02:12 PM
im a 99% sure that i am suffering from anxiety , i have suffered with a feeling of derealisation for a number of weeks fear of leaving my house out in open spaces i am 16 years old i worry alot over analayze things and tend to think way to much due to alot of time being alon e with nothing to do hence the reason of bein expelled from school and living with my dad who is often not in even though since the 'anxiety' have stayed with my mother brothther and step dad in there house anyway my story is as follows i ever since the age of 12 suffered from bouts of fear paranio and depressioni had fixations with the way i looked, what people thought of me, weather people find me attractive or cool , wether my nose was out of place (seriously considered nosejob ) once thought i lived in the wrong area and despite being a middle class child i thought i should have been a working class child in a working class enviroment very odd i know i have had obbseeions with heavy rock music e.g. korn nirvana metallica and fantised about being a heavy rockstar or contraversiol a druggy typse suicidal rocker like cobain or hendrix that just a number of thoughts or phases i have gone through yet i belive for a few months i become obsses with how the world is made how we are we how we are here how things are real and many other deep thoughts into the unknown and around 5weeks ago i took a exetremky small amount of methodrone infact i doubt i even took any i had put my hand in dust in the table and feew grains had remained on my finger that i brushed off yet the thought of me doing the drug triggered if the affect which for me in whatever drug i take gives me anxiety sympton worrying fear impenidng doom heart palputations sweats and a general horrendous time on drugs i have used cocaine and marijuana before both giving the sam affect hence the fact i dont take drugs and i did acceidently take the mephodrone which many of you will find hard to beilve i know haha but well ever since that i have had extreme symptoms of anxiety the spaced out feelin heart palpuationa sweaty hands worrying impending doom depression electric shook feelings head aches disorted vision constatnt negative thoughts and that voice in your head going are you okay ? i am finding it a struggle to go out with freinds atm or in the open in genreal for to long wihout that feeling on being out of reality and constantly thinking am i okay and just really starting to worry and before you say it the drug many of my freinds took the same batch and hell of a lot more and are fine although i think i have suffered with slight anxiety before this which has now been triggered of by this traumatic experince i occured and wether or not i even toook that drug is dubious to be honest but i would just like to know have others experinced this kinda thing or any symptoms and if so any advise on this thank you for your time