I'm Scared.

[Agon]

Hi. This is my first post here, please be nice. ;D

My name's Issa. I'm 15 years old. I've been a ballet dancer since... well, forever. [haha not. i started when I was in 1st grade i think.]

I've considered posting my worries in a dancer forum, but then I realized that my fear wasn't really all about dancing and I figured the people on the forum would just be annoyed.

So here goes. I'm very very self-conscious. I don't know if I have a specific disorder. If I do have a disorder, I suppose I have a mild case compared to some people.

I recently switched ballet schools after having a hiatus of about 6 months. Tomorrow's the first day, and I'm nervous. I've been nervous for like the past 3 days. God.

I reflected on myself and noticed that this nervousness about trying new things and meeting new people has been present for so very long, and I'm sick of it. I need to know if there's anyone out there who overcame this problem and how. :[

My heart's just pounding and my hands are clammy. [Mostly cos I'm thinking about the teacher, and she seems pretty scary. haha] The other dancers are very good, and I'm worried I might look retarded seeing as I'm rusty after 6 months without training.

AHHH help. My problem doesn't just concern ballet class, it concerns practically everything I do in my life. I'm scared of looking like a dork. That usually stops me from starting conversations. People tell me that this is a normal adolescent phase, but hell, I never see my friends go through this kinda stuff.

SOO there goes my epicly long post. THANKS FOR READING, I needed to vent.

[rpewing]

It sounds like you're a perfectionist. I'm the same way; I've been that way all my life. Being a perfectionist is one of the classic risk factors for developing anxiety problems b/c of the extra dose of anxiety you feel every time something isn't "just right".

The advice for this is to not take yourself so seriously and think about what the worst thing that can happen is. I know, easier said than done. I've struggled with it myself for the longest time.

This translates to social anxiety as well. I've probably missed out on a lot of good relationships b/c when I start a good relationship with someone, I tend to avoid that person b/c I'm afraid of screwing things up. How stupid is that?!

The truth is, it could be "normal" adolescent stuff as well. You said you don't see your friends going through it, but do they see you going through it? Anxiety sufferers are by nature very hesitant to reach out to others about their problems for fear of embarrassment or rejection (especially at that age), so it probably affects so many more of your friends than you think.

So what is the worst that can happen? Are you going to die? Is the teacher going to throw you out of the class if you're not perfect? The worst that will happen in all honesty is that you'll be rusty and feel embarrassed. BUT, the only way you'll ever get over this is to accept that you'll take some risks and lighten up on yourself.

So take care :)

[palow]

Dear Issa,

You do have a case of social phobia. Can you talk to your parents about getting some cognitive behavioral therapy or ordering an anxiety treatment program online. Specifically I'm thinking of the Linden Method for Children package, but your parents have to get involved. Are you close enough to them to ask them for help?

I'm 50 years old and I was suffering from anxiety a really really long time. I went through a lot of programs and I learned about all my inner fears, my control issues, my childhood traumas.

Knowing all these things didn't help. My anxiety got worse over the years. The Linden Method was the only thing that helped me and now the worrying is almost gone. It works by something called diversion tactics. It works like magic but it takes time and patience.

Rpewing gave you good advice but getting advice doesn't help unless someone puts all of it together for you in a structured program. Your anxiety is driven by your subconscious, and you need to REPROGRAMME your subconscious with new behaviours and new thinking patterns.

Good luck, Issa. I wish you wonderful years full of excitement and adventure in your teenage years.
Patrick

[Agon]

Thanks for the advice. :)

The class went really good, as far as I could tell. I was a bit rusty, yes, but I didn't completely make a fool of myself. So, yay for me!

Oh, and thanks, I'll look into the Lindel Method. It might help.