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Mystic_Mommy
04-06-2010, 12:18 PM
Let me introduce myself. My name is Tiffany, I recently turned 25 years old (March 11th), I am married to a wonderful man named Robert (but only goes by Bobby), and I have two beautiful Daughters. Rayne is 3 years old and Saige is 6 months. I am a stay at home mother full time, although I keep my Massage License active because some day I do plan on getting back into the healing world of Bodywork.

I have suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember. Even as a child my mother used to call me a worry wart. Sometimes I would suddenly become afraid to fall asleep in fear that I might stop breathing, Nightmares were a common occurrence, and I didn’t like to step outside my comfort zone. Birthday Parties and Sleep Overs in crowds or with people I didn’t know made me uneasy. Not to say I didn’t join in still, at least some of the time. In High School I was finally diagnosed as having an Anxiety Disorder and IBS was a symptom of that. This was helpful in taking charge of my life, and I began to challenge myself to do things outside of my comfort zone. Things like, taking the Community Transit Bus to get places, going out with friends, experiencing new things, etc. I learned how to drive and decided to go to college, even graduated with honors. Finally I was getting out and participating in life, even though I still struggled… life was manageable. I can’t imagine going out and doing things like that anymore, hard to believe I was ever able to.

When I got pregnant with my First Baby, Rayne, things started out normal but about half way through I started having a lot of problems. Nothing life threatening but still debilitating. I lived off of Prilosec and couldn’t eat anything but bland foods like String Cheese and crackers. Prenatal Vitamins gave me headaches, I couldn’t exercise because even if I tried I’d feel out of breath and dizzy. My blood pressure was always up when I went to the doctors but then went down… I probably went to the hospital 4 different times thinking I was in labor due to the constant Braxton Hicks contractions. I’m sure my anxiety started to rear it’s ugly head about this time, but I thought it was all pregnancy related symptoms. Unfortunately it never went away after giving birth. I ended up having Pre-eclampsia after having Rayne, rare but happens, and a long recovery that followed. Although I love being a mother and she was always a joy, my anxiety sky rocketed. I became afraid to go anywhere. I would panic just going to the grocery store. Although I have suffered life long with anxiety, I never really had panic attacks. The dizzy, tingling, hyperventilating stuff was new. Reached a peak around the time Rayne was 9 months old. After we moved to Arlington there was an evening where I thought I was dying. Ended up calling 911 and they put me on oxygen only to tell me I was having a panic attack. I struggled hard for a while longer but shortly after Rayne turned One I started getting motivated and live began to flow again. My diet changed drastically, started working out again, and felt pretty good.

I had my second baby, Saige, on September 30 2009. Unlike with Rayne I had a great Pregnancy and birth experience. I even go the all natural drug free water birth at a Birth Center that I wanted so badly before. Unexpectedly though I developed some postpartum depression afterward. I just didn’t feel like myself, and that scared me. Really I think this was the beginning of my anxiety resurfacing. Not to say it disappeared, no matter what it has always been there just in a manageable or non-manageable form. Things seemed OK though for a short while but then I had my first panic attack in a long time. I had gone Christmas shopping with a friend at night and she got lost. We were driving home in the dark and suddenly I felt very panicky. From there I started to get panic attacks every now and then, more and more often. For a little while I was working out still and feeling pretty good but then about two months ago after having a panic attack after working out I haven’t been able to since.

I am at the point now where I don’t like getting in the car or going anywhere. Anxiety is a constant daily struggle. I am looking into finding a therapist, as I do not want to be on Medication. My anxiety has gotten extreme while Breast Feeding so I wonder if hormones are effecting my condition. (I nursed Rayne till she was exactly 2 but considerably less after she was 1 because she was also eating solids and I am still exclusively breast feeding Saige) I have been feeling very alone and scared that there is something wrong with me and I’ll never recover… which has brought me here.

Symptoms:
Dizzy/Light Headed, numbing/tingling, IBS, nausea, Shaky/Trembling, feeling overheated/HOT, Tightness/tension, short of breath, clammy/sweaty hands and feet (although cold to the touch), tired/weak, heart racing/pounding, Worry, Clumsiness, etc.

Diagnosis:
Anxiety/Panic Disorder, Agoraphobic, IBS, and possibly some Hypochondria


Thanks for Listening!

IHatePanicAttacks
04-18-2010, 02:05 PM
Yea that is a tough one Mystic - one thing that I can tell you is that depression and anxiety\panic attacks are really common after pregnancy. Not sure why, but they are unfortunately. I would guess that it has something to do with the fluctuating hormones.

I would recommend to wait it out but I guess you have been trying to wait it out since your youngest is already 6 months.

The best thing to do about this one is to just talk to a professional about it as it seems like it is either severe panic attacks\anxiety, or it is something else that is mixed in. Best of luck to you Mystic!

lunalady
05-20-2010, 10:11 AM
Hi Tiffany,

Motherhood is challenging under any circumstances, and breast feeding has its own whole set of issues to be sure.

You have been anxious most of your life, so it's certainly not surprising that it is acting up now.

When my son was a baby I had horrible anxiety. It got better over time. I had to go on meds, but that was my choice at the time and I don't regret it.

I hope you will seek out a doctor because you are struggling so much at this time. And I'm glad you joined the forum and shared your story here. Reaching out to others can be tremendously helpful.

Good luck Mommy!
Jill