njmom
04-05-2010, 05:59 AM
Hi everyone. I've had anxiety for a while, but my symptoms have become so intense the last few years I've finally seeked help. I just started lexapro last week, and have xanax for the bad episodes but have yet to take it. My bad attacks started a long time ago, mostly when I would drink or smoke pot (college days ya know), so I stopped. Then on occasion I would get one for no reason but they were few and far between. The one constant for me with the big bad attacks are sleep. I always wake up with them. I can be asleep for a couple of hours or all night, but its always when I wake up. The usual symptoms-racing thready pulse, flushing (both hot and cold), shaking, nausea, diarhhea feeling (but usually doesn't happen), sweating (especially my palms, feet and spine), wierd skin sensations, and afraid of losing consciousness and dying. Those attacks usually last for 20-30 minutes for me and the whole next day I feel incapacitated physically, like the life has just been sucked right out and the thought of doing anything is painful.
When I got pregnant with my daughter who is now 18 months old, I got a few attacks but they pretty much subsided and I only had a few the whole pregnancy. I did start having muscle pain and weakness, being fatigued, and a whole bunch of other normal pregnancy symptoms that I thought would go away after I gave birth, but they haven't. My daytime anxiety has drastically increased since then, especially for a week or two around "that time of the month". In fact, my nightime episodes are confined to ovulation and menstruation. During the day my loegs often feel rubbery and like they aren't moving right. My middle toes often feel like they have something around them... ever wrap a bandaid around a toe and put a sock on? Thats what it feels like. I also feel like I have a tight band around my calves and sometimes my upper abdomen. I have abdominal pain and chest pain alot too for no real reason. I have had multiple blood tests and EKG's and echos to check out my heart and its all fine. I get sinus headaches ALOT. A few months ago my husbands aunt died of a brain aneurysm leaving behind 2 young children and a husband and that has started a whole slew of anxiety for me. Since then I have acute hearing, acute smell, increased sensitivites in general and those wonderful brain zaps where it feels like your brain is vibrating. Loud circumstances enhance all these and it drives me crazy so I dread going out (loud restaurants and events). Even talking on the phone can cause it when the voice on the other end is too loud.
I am so sick of feeling this way. I am seriously hoping this medication helps so I get back to functioning as a normal human. Its affected my life and I am tired of it. I do have stress in my life, but I often use my everyday routine (taking care of an 18 month old) as an excuse to not go out and do things I used to. The "I'm too tired" or "I can't get her off her schedule". I now force myself to get up and do things regardless. Hopefully once the meds start kicking in I will be able to force myself to do more things as well. Half my battle is getting off my tuckus to do it and then I am fine. My goal is to start feeling better mentally with the meds so I can tackle whats causing my anxiety in a healthy way (husband not helping me enough, not getting enough breaks from the baby because I am neurotic about taking care of her, etc.) and then get off the meds. Another one of my causes for anxiety is being afraid to upset my husband. If he's unhappy for whatever reason, it stresses me out and I get instant anxiety. He's not abusive or anything like that-but I feel the need to fix everything. If I can't I tend to feel helpless because I do EVERYTHING.
Well, thats my story. I am trying very hard to tackle this in a healthy way and not let it ruin my life. When I start feeling these things, I just let them run thier course knowing I am not going to die, and remind myself its just the anxiety screwing with my brain and nerves and it'll be over soon.
When I got pregnant with my daughter who is now 18 months old, I got a few attacks but they pretty much subsided and I only had a few the whole pregnancy. I did start having muscle pain and weakness, being fatigued, and a whole bunch of other normal pregnancy symptoms that I thought would go away after I gave birth, but they haven't. My daytime anxiety has drastically increased since then, especially for a week or two around "that time of the month". In fact, my nightime episodes are confined to ovulation and menstruation. During the day my loegs often feel rubbery and like they aren't moving right. My middle toes often feel like they have something around them... ever wrap a bandaid around a toe and put a sock on? Thats what it feels like. I also feel like I have a tight band around my calves and sometimes my upper abdomen. I have abdominal pain and chest pain alot too for no real reason. I have had multiple blood tests and EKG's and echos to check out my heart and its all fine. I get sinus headaches ALOT. A few months ago my husbands aunt died of a brain aneurysm leaving behind 2 young children and a husband and that has started a whole slew of anxiety for me. Since then I have acute hearing, acute smell, increased sensitivites in general and those wonderful brain zaps where it feels like your brain is vibrating. Loud circumstances enhance all these and it drives me crazy so I dread going out (loud restaurants and events). Even talking on the phone can cause it when the voice on the other end is too loud.
I am so sick of feeling this way. I am seriously hoping this medication helps so I get back to functioning as a normal human. Its affected my life and I am tired of it. I do have stress in my life, but I often use my everyday routine (taking care of an 18 month old) as an excuse to not go out and do things I used to. The "I'm too tired" or "I can't get her off her schedule". I now force myself to get up and do things regardless. Hopefully once the meds start kicking in I will be able to force myself to do more things as well. Half my battle is getting off my tuckus to do it and then I am fine. My goal is to start feeling better mentally with the meds so I can tackle whats causing my anxiety in a healthy way (husband not helping me enough, not getting enough breaks from the baby because I am neurotic about taking care of her, etc.) and then get off the meds. Another one of my causes for anxiety is being afraid to upset my husband. If he's unhappy for whatever reason, it stresses me out and I get instant anxiety. He's not abusive or anything like that-but I feel the need to fix everything. If I can't I tend to feel helpless because I do EVERYTHING.
Well, thats my story. I am trying very hard to tackle this in a healthy way and not let it ruin my life. When I start feeling these things, I just let them run thier course knowing I am not going to die, and remind myself its just the anxiety screwing with my brain and nerves and it'll be over soon.