Anxiety and dating- HELP!!

[maryrose999]

Hey guys, thanks for reading first off.
I am 21 years old, have dating guys before (although not seriously) and not had a huge issue with it as far as anxiety goes, but within the past 4 years it has been getting worse. Just the thought of even going out to lunch with a guy makes my heart start pounding (and not the good kind of pounding) and my stomach start knotting up to the point where no matter how much I like this guy I am willing to do anything to get out of having to go on a date with him. This just doesn't even make sense to me, yet I can't get rid of it! Does anyone else get relationship anxiety this bad?
I just don't think that this is normal and feel like I'm just overreacting or something. I mean I know I am. Do you think that maybe I am subconsciously using my anxiety as a protective mechanism? Maybe I'm just really scared of getting hurt? I don't know. But I would definitely appreciate any advise or comments that you guys have! Thanks for reading!

[rpewing]

It definitely sounds like a defense mechanism that you aren't consciously aware of. I think part of it was social anxiety; I had a similar experience when I would go out on dates (luckily I have a wife that loves me unconditionally now, so not so much anxiety anymore :) ). Part of it may be insecurity too, or a whole combination of things.

It's not nearly as uncommon as you might think to feel the way you do is the point I'm trying to get across. At some point, you have to let go of your fears of being hurt and get out there :)

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I get the same way with new situations not so much with dates. Is there any possiblity of spinning it and looking at it as good anticipation rather than horrible anxiety. Sometimes are interpretation of things is what really causes the anxiety. Keep telling yourself that you are excited and looking foward to meeting new people. Dont put so much pressure on yourself!! Be confident that you are a good person and that someone is out there and meant for yoU! GOOD LUCK:-)

[maryrose999]

Thank you guys so much! I've just now started dating a guy, and I know that he has liked me for a good two years consistently, and I've liked him for awhile too. So I feel a little better and more secure with him cause I know he hhas genuine feelings for me. But still, I can feel a little part of me starting to freak out for no apparent reason. But thanks for the advice! I will definitely be trying it! :)