new here

[xxjanexx]

hi im new here
my boyfriend has severe agoraphobia and has suffered for many years. he wont go for therapy but we have accomodated it and been taking tiny steps to overcome it. its been 1 steo forward and 2 back but we have stuck at it.
the biggest problem i feel at the moment is his mother who he lives with.
every time he tries to go out she discourages him and makes him feel guilty. she is very manipulative and likes to keep him at home. i have spoken to him over this and he does agree that its making things imposible for him, however when he is looking for an exchuse not to go out he is glad she is like this!
what should we do? i feel stuck and she d never let him leave home. (he is nearly 35 years old)

[squirt]

Sounds like his mom is an enabler that can't let go and is needlessly making him feel worse. Try and get him to read some CBT books like the one by Sam Obitz and counter his thoughts in the TEA forms and I think they will help him (along with your support) to feel more confident and help him get out the door again. You may even want to do them with him to show him how unrealistic the thoughts he is thinking right now are.

[xxjanexx]

hi squirt
thanks for replying
i ll look for those books today, he likes reading so mite change his thoughts slightly,
when ive read about therapy it usually involves the support and encouragement of family, i feel he have given up tbh

[Jeohetritiach]

Howdy all. First, let me tell you that I think this is a wonderful site. I am a drug prevention specialist and my primary mission is to help keep kids away from drug use/abuse. I am not a recovery specialist, but Im hoping that I can get some insight from people here on how to help keep kids away from drugs. I dont judge, and I have thick skin. I appreciate any insight you might be willing to provide me.

Thanx in advance

[squirt]

hi squirt
thanks for replying
i ll look for those books today, he likes reading so mite change his thoughts slightly,
when ive read about therapy it usually involves the support and encouragement of family, i feel he have given up tbh

You are welcome. How is he doing now? I hope some of my suggestions were helpful :)

[squirt]

Howdy all. First, let me tell you that I think this is a wonderful site. I am a drug prevention specialist and my primary mission is to help keep kids away from drug use/abuse. I am not a recovery specialist, but Im hoping that I can get some insight from people here on how to help keep kids away from drugs. I dont judge, and I have thick skin. I appreciate any insight you might be willing to provide me.

Thanx in advance

Welcome :D
I think the best way to keep kids off drugs is to make sure they feel loved and good about themselves.

[xxjanexx]

hi squirt, those books were great and really helpful,
he is very keen to get out now, just somewhere nice and quiet to start. he s been to the shops when its quiet and did very well, im realy proud of him actually. :D
he has everything ready and we planned to go a bit further but we havent actually gone yet.... guess why? mother..... doesnt want him to be out at night!
not sure if this is an excuse but this obsticle sure is a tough one