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View Full Version : My story and where I am at right now



twitchy
03-02-2010, 09:09 PM
SIGH...

OK, I have been a lurker here for a bit and reading about what you have gone through has been really comforting for me. Now let me tell my story, and I hope for some advice.

I'm 24 this month, but when I was 17 I went to my girlfriend (at the time..)'s house and her Dad was taking his blood pressure. Jokingly he asked me if I wanted to take mine. I figured it wouldn't be an issue even though I've always been a hypochondriac....so he takes it and its very high. It was obviously high because I was nervous, but I couldn't talk myself out of it. After this happened my girlfriend and I went to the movie, Bad Boys 2 to be exact. I was doing just fine, but couldn't get the though of my high blood pressure out of my head. Suddenly I started sweating, heart racing, numb hands, rushing feeling in my chest, you all know what I'm talking about. I struggled through the movie and told my girlfriend I need to go home right away. I went and woke my mom up, who her self has struggled with anxiety, and she sat up with me and comforted me as much as she could. After that night something was knocked out of whack in my head because I laid in my bed for a week with a really f*cked up feeling in my head. After that I told myself, "STOP THIS" and met up with a few friends for a couple beers and felt better that night and from then on...

So at this point I had what I would call a very mild anxiety disorder. I wasn't too affected until my girlfriend decided to break up with me. I had a few issues so I went to the doctor and he prescribed me 75mg Effexor. It seemed to work, I suppose, even though things were manageable. It worked, but at this point I was 18 and single, so hooking up with girls was, with a lack of a better word, embarrassing. I figured I wasn't doing too bad so I will just go without and go to therapy. During this time I bought a house, and met my girlfriend who I am with now for over 5 years. She is the love of my life and I plan on marrying her when the time comes.

ANYWAYS, we have been through a lot together and I've tried a few different meds while being with her even though I probably could have coped without. I tried Cipralex (sp)?, Wellbutrin, and Prozac which all caused different side effects. I told myself I could do this without the pills and to just cope and move on. At this point my parents offered me a job for their business selling and installing office furniture. I started and everything is great and I'm still at this position today eventually going to take over the business with my brother.

So I was doing great for a while, but two years ago I came across a lump on my back. It was the size of a bean I'd say and was around where one of my kindeys are. I didn't think anything of it until it hadn't gone away after a few months. My hypochondriac tendencies stepped in and I got really freaked out. While this happened I also lost my family doctor who I've seen my entire life. Needless to say I was freaking out and became extremely anxious and very scared. I ended up going to the doc and found a new doctor for myself who I feel very comfortable with. He actually laughed at me about the lump on my back and it went away literally a week later. UGGHH!!

This is where it goes all down hill....

I don't know what happened with that situation but it has seemed to knock something out of whack. I'm extremely plagued with anxiety and some crazy symptoms that come along with it. When I say anxiety though, I mean some REALLY intense anxiety.

For the past two years I have been suffering big time. I was always able to cope with the anxiety and tell myself I only have "mild" anxiety but its become to bad that I have to say I have "severe" anxiety. I went on Celexa and maxed it out at 60mg but that wasn't enough. I started twitching uncontrollably, having strange elastic band feelings around my head, a strange feeling in my neck and of course intense anxiety/panic attacks. The worst of it all though is my sleeping. I would have the absolute worse anxiety attacks ever in the middle of the night. On top of that I would twitch just as I'm about to fall asleep. Because of this I figured I'd start taking my meds at night thinking maybe having a more potent med in my bloodstream would settle the anxiety when I sleep but has done nothing. My girlfriend has moved into my house during this and says its scary when we try and go to sleep. I lay there...get tired...close my eyes...and ZAP! twitch and wake us both up. This literally goes on all night. I figured maybe it was a side effect of the Celexa so I consulted my sister in law who happens to be a pharmacist. She suggested Effexor or Cymbalta. Since I was comfortable with Effexor I figured I'd suggest that to my doc. So here I am on 225mg on Effexor...

Now as of today. I sleep like shit, I feel like shit all day long because I'm either having steady anxiety, twitching or having that strange feeling in my head. I feel like I've hit a dead end...the only thing that makes me feel better is happy hour after work. I feel great after having a couple drinks but don't want to rely on it. If I don't have any drinks I twitch and have a steady feeling of anxiety. I just started my extra 75mg onto of my 150mg on Effexor today so I'm hoping that it helps me a bit. At the same time I take Magnesium and a multi vitamin.

Can anyone give me some advice? I've tried therapy on two different occasions and I just can't see how they can rid me of the symptoms that have to come along with the anxiety. How can therepy cure my twitching?

HELP!

pronto11
03-03-2010, 01:21 PM
mirtazapine, it works wonders for people that are having a hard time sleeping, i have been on it for a month for my anxiety (which it does nothing for) but i have been sleeping like a baby...im considering taking something else (like welbutrin) as a pick me up in the morning (im dead tired in the morning) ...but if you think lack of sleep is contributing to your anxiety i would at least ask your doctor about it....