Breaking down

[lilythmageborn]

Last Sunday (Jan 31st) I had a panic attack. I woke up completely out of it (2 hours into sleep) and had a bit of an upset stomach, which triggered a panic attack. I did not sleep the rest of the night. I had taken a Xanax and it calmed me down.
January of last year I started taking Paxil 20mg for anxiety and it worked well for a few months. It stopped working, and I started feeling depressed, and extremely angry. I didn't tell the doctor because I thought she would put me on something stronger or different or wouldn't be able to help. I continued out the rest of my prescription (it ended in late Septemer) and quit cold turkey instead of using my last prescriptions to taper. I felt like I had beaten the anxiety.
Fast-forward to January of this year. My husband lost his job, so that was very stressful, but I thought I handled it well. He has a new job now. But last Sunday I had a panic attack, and after that would wake up panicy but not having an attack every night. Moving downstairs to a different bed seemed to help somehow, and I would fall back to sleep with no problems the rest of the day. But early Saturday morning I couldn't shake nausea and nervousness and never went to sleep. I called a suicide hotline, not because I was feeling suicidal, but just for advice and someone to help calm me. It worked temporarily, and a lot of things throughout the day worked temporarily, but nothing stopped it. I broke down and went to the ER because I was over 30 hours without sleep at that point. I was exhausted but the nausea and panic were killing me. They have me something for the nausea, and a tranquilizer. I was passed out before I was out of the hospital, and slept 12 hours.
Around 2:30 I took some sleeping pills to make myself sleep so that I wouldn't be up all night, alone (husband needs sleep for work). I slept two hours on them, but woke up feeling panicy again. Took a Xanax and it's sort of working, but I want to be up ASAP to call in a doctor's appt to get on pills again and get an appt with a shrink.
I have so many irrational fears. That I'm going to die if I go to sleep, going to die if I don't go to sleep, going to die if I take too many meds, that my husband will hate me for costing him so much money, that nothing will ever help and I'll have to check into a mental hospital...
Nothing I try to do seems to help. Relaxation techniques, addressing the fears, taking Xanax. For goodness sake, I took sleeping pills and still woke up.
I suppose I'm just looking for someone to talk to, someone to tell me about their own battles with it, anything. If nothing else, I know I cannot deal with this on my own, but my husband and friends are asleep and can't help me right now. So, is there anyone out there?

[antoinette7774]

Hi
It sounds like you are having a shocking time with your anxiety and panic attacks it is no wonder you don't want to sleep. I had a panic attacks and then couldn't stop worrying that it was something wrong with my lungs. I just buried my head in the sand and eventually had a nervous breakdown. I had to slowly work my way back I saw a psychologist who suggested I go walking everyday and do some mediation (mindfulness) I was also put on zoloft as it helped my sister (we're both a bit crazy :D . I finally am starting to feel better (not completely normal though).
I understand it can be terribly scary and your thoughts seem to make sense to you. At least if you try to find a good psychologist they may be able to point you in the right direction.
Best of luck I hope this helps you Ant

[plain_white_trash]

If a doctor has checked you out well and diagnosed you with anxiety, you are going to be fine. Its only anxiety, nothing more. Feelings are not fact. Simply because you feel like something terrible is going to happen does not mean it will or has. Try taking your worst thoughts and carrying them to extremes. Like, what if your husband gets mad at you for costing him money? Then what? And so on. When your mind says what if, try to say so what.

Sometimes this helps. Hang in there. No one has ever died from anxiety.

[JeffB]

You've done one of the most important things by getting checked out physically. Now that you know that it's anxiety, you move to taking care of it.

The answer will not be Xanax. That may take the edge off temporarily, but it works less well as time goes by and causes dependency. Use with caution and a physician's guidance.

I think cognitive restructuring is one of the most powerful method you can use. The Wellness Book has a good introduction to cognitive restructuring as well as the relaxation response and diaphragmatic breathing which are also very helpful.