ollie
02-01-2010, 06:21 AM
Ok so i'm abit lost this past year... I graduated school a year ago and since then iv slowly watched my social life crumble. I've always been so confident & funny, always had alot of friends and always known how to be myself, start conversations that would go on forever. But since i left school iv been alot more concerned about my actions every day, i feel awequard and always have to think things through before i do them, simple conversations are nerve racking. I am a confident person at heart; i can speak up, i can yell, I could talk about things all day if i like, but i start a conversation, talk about my weekend or something with total confidence but their reaction isnt what ill expect, they will talk back but just not the reactions i used to get. but it seems that lately people just dont react to my confidence? which is making it dissapear... if that makes any sense. I just always question myself, is something wrong with me? is it my tone? what the heck is wrong. when i finished school i got a job at a popular surf store which is very social and everyone knows me, they always come up and talk to me but lately its getting worse things are getting awesquarder and im starting to get quieter. I even feel uncomfortable around my dad, just sitting down watching tv with him im always thinking should it be this silent, should i be talking.... WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME? Is this anxiety or is it just because my confidence has just somehow been shattered and im having trouble getting it back.
Theres also been a few factors that changed around the same time this started:
1. I moved into my dads because my mother lived too far out of town (I used to live 1 week with my mum, 1 week with my dad during school, i then had a fight with my dad and lived with my mother for a year, and have now been with my dad for an... uneasy year)
2. One of my best guy friends moved away
3. There is also a guy at work who was extremely confident he got a job after I did, everyone loves him and he can talk to anyone with ease, make them laugh and love to b e around him. He likes me and talks to me but it just makes me think shit... why bother i could never out do this guy.
can someone help, i dont want this to get worse, i had such hopefull dreams but now it seems like i dont look forward to anything except being with my loving gf.... but thats not enough, i need my friends, i need my happiness back!
Theres also been a few factors that changed around the same time this started:
1. I moved into my dads because my mother lived too far out of town (I used to live 1 week with my mum, 1 week with my dad during school, i then had a fight with my dad and lived with my mother for a year, and have now been with my dad for an... uneasy year)
2. One of my best guy friends moved away
3. There is also a guy at work who was extremely confident he got a job after I did, everyone loves him and he can talk to anyone with ease, make them laugh and love to b e around him. He likes me and talks to me but it just makes me think shit... why bother i could never out do this guy.
can someone help, i dont want this to get worse, i had such hopefull dreams but now it seems like i dont look forward to anything except being with my loving gf.... but thats not enough, i need my friends, i need my happiness back!