WyattEarp
01-11-2010, 06:32 PM
First and for most I just want everyone to understand how difficult this if for me to do. I am in a shear panic just thinking about some online hacker tracing this and finding out my real name. Just so you understand I am a state employee and can lose my job if any of this was to come out. I will respect all of you and I hope that you can show me the same respect. I am also going to apologize in advance for my lack of knowledge on the subject, I can explain it but I do not know the technical terms.
It all started about a month ago when I was attacked by a dog on my route. I only had to get a couple of stitches but after that now I am deathly afraid of dogs. I have come to the point where I am wearing adult diapers during my route. Everyone thinks I am gaining weight and I go through great lengths to hide it. What makes matters worse is that we have a family dog that my kids adore. He is a Siberian husky named Fedor and to cover up my fear I have been pretending that I am mad at him.
My wife has definitely noticed a change in my behavior, but I just don't know how to tell her. I am supposed to be a man, what woman is going to want a guy that craps himself when a dog barks at him. I am a letter carrier and everyday feels like a am going into combat. One lady on my route has a German Sheppard, and I have purposely delivered her mail to the neighbors house so I wouldn't have to walk up her steps.
Like I stated earlier I am not up on the medical terms, but when I pull into the parking lot at work my chest tightens up and I feel like I am having a heart attack. I get seizure like trembles when I have to walk up to a house with a dog, and of course there is the occasional accident. For the last two weeks I have been having vivid dreams about dogs barking and chasing me and have woken up several times in a cold sweat. I need to get a handle on this before it is to late. I appreciate any advice and I hope this is what I been looking for.
It all started about a month ago when I was attacked by a dog on my route. I only had to get a couple of stitches but after that now I am deathly afraid of dogs. I have come to the point where I am wearing adult diapers during my route. Everyone thinks I am gaining weight and I go through great lengths to hide it. What makes matters worse is that we have a family dog that my kids adore. He is a Siberian husky named Fedor and to cover up my fear I have been pretending that I am mad at him.
My wife has definitely noticed a change in my behavior, but I just don't know how to tell her. I am supposed to be a man, what woman is going to want a guy that craps himself when a dog barks at him. I am a letter carrier and everyday feels like a am going into combat. One lady on my route has a German Sheppard, and I have purposely delivered her mail to the neighbors house so I wouldn't have to walk up her steps.
Like I stated earlier I am not up on the medical terms, but when I pull into the parking lot at work my chest tightens up and I feel like I am having a heart attack. I get seizure like trembles when I have to walk up to a house with a dog, and of course there is the occasional accident. For the last two weeks I have been having vivid dreams about dogs barking and chasing me and have woken up several times in a cold sweat. I need to get a handle on this before it is to late. I appreciate any advice and I hope this is what I been looking for.