boardmor
12-24-2009, 10:57 AM
I'm new here and well I finally screwed my life to a point that I cant rely on anyone. I push people so far from me. I finally pushed my best friend to the point she will no longer talk to me. I knew what I was doing and knew the consquences but it just didnt stop me from doing. Now I am sitting here looking for answers. I lash out at people for no apperant reason. I come up with my own conclusions for everything because I am so damn scared to ask someone in person. I tried treatment a short time years ago and stop and went back to my old ways. Now I ready for this to end. I am going to see someone next week. Unfortionitly I have had to push friends and family away to the point I think it will be a while before anyone will talk to me and some will never. I really dont know if any of this common but I feel like sometimes I just enjoy torturing myself with worrying constantlly and put myself into situations that I feel I cant fix. I dont really know what I expect from a responce I just wanted to vent more then anything.