SimB
12-07-2009, 01:12 PM
Hello, everyone. I have what seems like a unique problem. I'm a college graduate now, but I've suffered from this problem since the 6th grade, and so far nobody has given me a solution that works. Throughout school, I've always been regarded as very smart, but people are usually shocked to find out that I left high school and got my GED, and had some really terrible grades back then (17% in language arts in the 6th grade!).
It's not because I don't work hard, and has NEVER been because I don't understand the material. My problem is that when the homework or paperwork is in front of me, I freeze up and panic. I've been trying to do the paperwork to enter graduate school, but that same panic has come back, and it's driving me crazy. Generally, I'm a very mellow guy, but when I sit down with this stuff, just reading over the questions is enough to make me want to literally run away. If I force myself to sit down and do it, it only gets worse, until I'm angry for the entire day, I can't do any work, and repeat the entire process the next day without making any progress.
Regardless of people calling me a slacker or telling me that I just have to suck it up and work through it, I think I have a very real and serious problem. Certain things cause so much stress and panic that it's unbearable. It's a problem that makes life very hard, and nobody seems to get that I can't turn off my problem like it's a light switch.
Does this sound like anxiety to anyone? Instead of getting actual help, I've only gotten lectured about "poor work ethic," even though I never shy away from actual hard work. If anybody has any thoughts or similar experiences, I would REALLY appreciate it. My problem may sound trivial, but it was enough to force me to leave high school, which could have screwed my whole life up if I hadn't been spotted or my piano playing and earned a scholarship. Now that college is done, I need to find work or apply for graduate school, but the resumes and the paperwork are TORTURE.
I'm interested in everyone's thoughts, it could really help me out!!
It's not because I don't work hard, and has NEVER been because I don't understand the material. My problem is that when the homework or paperwork is in front of me, I freeze up and panic. I've been trying to do the paperwork to enter graduate school, but that same panic has come back, and it's driving me crazy. Generally, I'm a very mellow guy, but when I sit down with this stuff, just reading over the questions is enough to make me want to literally run away. If I force myself to sit down and do it, it only gets worse, until I'm angry for the entire day, I can't do any work, and repeat the entire process the next day without making any progress.
Regardless of people calling me a slacker or telling me that I just have to suck it up and work through it, I think I have a very real and serious problem. Certain things cause so much stress and panic that it's unbearable. It's a problem that makes life very hard, and nobody seems to get that I can't turn off my problem like it's a light switch.
Does this sound like anxiety to anyone? Instead of getting actual help, I've only gotten lectured about "poor work ethic," even though I never shy away from actual hard work. If anybody has any thoughts or similar experiences, I would REALLY appreciate it. My problem may sound trivial, but it was enough to force me to leave high school, which could have screwed my whole life up if I hadn't been spotted or my piano playing and earned a scholarship. Now that college is done, I need to find work or apply for graduate school, but the resumes and the paperwork are TORTURE.
I'm interested in everyone's thoughts, it could really help me out!!