Anxiety Disorder... Panic Attack... Social Disorder... HELP!

[royalflush408]

Hi guys

I am new to this site and I am really glad I found it! I really don't know which disorder I have, and I hope that this site can help me because it's really putting a great deal or negative effect in my life.

Let me first introduce myself. I am 21 year old male from California. For someone my age, I consider myself successful and very mature. I have my own business, own a car (all paid by myself), pay my own bills, I support my parents, etc.... In other words, I am very independent 21 year old male. I am healthy, I exercise/go to the gym regularly, I can be an extrovert and be the life of the party, but can also be very introvert at times as well. I'm a good at conversation, whatever the topic may be, but also a great listener.

For years and years I have been trying not to admit that I have any disorder, but it seems to get worse and worse and it's taking a toll in my life.

I am not sure what type of disorder I have, all I know is that I have one.

So here is the problem. It seems like when I am in public by myself (sometimes even when I'm with someone) I tend to get really nervous, my face turns red, I get hot flashes, my vision gets blurry, I sweaty, I shake, and my mouth dries up... especially if it's an enviroment I'm not used to... Even though there really isn't anything serious happening around me.... I always feel like someone is looking at me and judging me, monitoring every movement I make. Especially when I hear someone laughing or giggling... I feel like they are laughing at me, even though I know for a fact that they are not... But my head is telling me that they are.

For example, the other night I was at the post office. I was just standing in line and everything was fine. Until about 10 minutes later (the line wasn't long, but there was only 1 person working as the cashier).... I heard someone talking and laughing behind me. I started to think that they were laughing at me. I started to get hot flashes, my face/ears/cheeks got red.. I got so hot and I started sweating... It's winter time and it was really cold, but I was sweating for no reason. I looked really stupid. Imagine winter time, it's cold and someone got red and started sweating for no reason. Then I thought about what was happening to me and that made the situation worse. I got redder, hotter and I started sweating bullets. Also, seeing others looking at me while under attack just makes the situation much worse!

This also happens when I am in grocery lines... Getting a coffee at starbucks... Or falling in line in the bank...

I try to block the thought with "happy" memories. I sometimes even imagine myself standing in snow naked just to try and trick my brain that I am cold so I don't sweat...

This is really bring a huge chunk of negativity in my life. I hope someone can help or give some advise.

Thanks for reading!

[Belle]

Anxiety can happen to the most independant, rational, intellegent person, it doesn't have any class or racial boundaries. There is no one answer as to why your feeling like this, why you think like this. Have you ever seeked therapy, trying to talk to a professional about what's going on? Trying to get some insight and a plan to help you recover rather than going it alone can help. I'm sorry I don't have much more advice then to start there. Re-directing your thinking is good, but isn't obviously working and tracking your thoughts from the beginning and figuring out why you think this in the first place might help. I always recommend cbt as a form of therapy, it will keep you active in your treatment. Hope you feel better soon.