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lost_in_translation
11-19-2009, 04:32 PM
hi everyone,

i had my first full blown attack as they call it 5 weeks ago, it scared me very much. i have days where it is ok and days where i just want to dig myself a tunnel and hide in it. i really am battling to control my mind as it seems to be doing its own thing very often, the harder i fight against it the worse it gets. just when i think things are going better they seem to get worse again like a viscious cycle. i want my old life back if you can say it that way. i am trying to finish my studies at the moment and pushed myself through my exams although i didnt feel good at all, not sleeping, eating etc. i often lie awake at night and cant sleep and have this continuous feeling that something bad will happen to me, i shriek when there are loud noises or any other sound i cannot identify, the weather freaks me out when it all of a sudden changes. my relationship with my boyfriend is suffering immensely from everything, he is trying so hard to be supportive and has been truely amazing but still its putting quite a bit of strain on the relationship and on other friendships. on some days i just dont want to do anything, just hide from the world and stay in my little shell, i hate when i am this way and even punish myself even more for my behaviour. i have started a therapy which is seeming to help a little but i must say i am an impatient person at times and can be very hard on myself if things do not go fast enough. many things over the past years have probably influenced my anxiety the way it is now, much family drama which many people go through, being attacked a couple of years ago etc. sometimes my helplessness feels so overwhelming i dont know what to do with myself. i know this is quite a long text and may seem a bit confusing but any advise will be much appreciated as i feel extremely lost at the moment and feel like i am turning more and more away from everyone i care about in my life.

thank you

Jake8888
11-19-2009, 07:29 PM
first of all i know exactly how you feel iv goe through everything you have and i still am going through what your feeling. Just step back and relax...i worry to but iv came to the conclusion that i dont have much control of whats going to happen its life anxiety is a nasty dissorder that can bring you to the point of pretty much doing anything. I know its the hardest thing to do but just tynt to think about what is going on in your head because thats exactly what it is, its all in your head. I just wanted to tell you that you are deffinantly not alone in what you are going through and be strong and try to accept an help that you can.

jake

"today is the tommorrow that we worried about yesterday"

Belle
11-20-2009, 05:38 AM
So sorry about how your feeling, I know how tough it is. Anxiety is somethng we don't just wake the next day from and it's all gone, I wish it was!!! When you go through something like this, you may feel your pushing everyone away, but people that care about you will stick around and help you, it can really bring out who should be in your life and who shouldn't. Don't be so hard on yourself, your highly anxious and stressed, we go through these things in life and it's a reminder to take a step back, take a breather, re-evaluate what's important, what you need to sort through, how you can make life better and less stressful and any past issues you need to sort out and let go.
The more you worry about things and want it all stop, the longer it will take to recover. You're doing the right thing by getting help, it's a first step to recovery. Try to take it one day at a time, don't worry about tomorrow just what you can do to help yourself today, you just need a break.
There are lots of tips and advice in these threads to help you out with some simple stuff you can start with, eg. knowledge about anxiety, diet changes, vitamins, relaxation techniques, coping techniques all these things don't cure you overnight but with time. Be patient, just do what you can only handle today, don't be so hard on yourself and everything will work out. I know you want your life to go back to the way it was, I felt like that at the start too, but maybe a different perspective on it that life as you knew it wasn't working out, it stopped being what you needed to grow as a person.
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and this won't last forever, it will make you a stronger person and better for it I promise.

1970
11-20-2009, 05:48 AM
I think a good start instead of trying to fight it, is accept it for what it is and reaslise its not life threating to us, fighting it is very tiring mental any physically,

once you can accept and understand what these feelings are and they become less intense i think is the time to try to beat it

a bit like getting to know your enemy before you can defeat them

it does sound like you are a little hard on yourself at times and i think that would be adding a bit to the way you feel

remember anxiety is not something that happens to us cause we are weak or anything, it doesnt even need a situation to trigger it off, sometimes it just happens to us for no reason , dont ever think you have failed because you suffer from it , cause you havent

just my thoughts on it anyway

terrytunes1958
11-20-2009, 08:12 AM
I can certainly relate to how your feeling and there is hope for you. You feel out of control and you don't want to look at anyone because you think they can see it in your eyes and have a view into your soul. Why won't this go away, and thoughts are racing a million miles an hour in your head. You feel so helpless.
I'm sorry you are feeling this way, but you have to talk with a doctor, if anything it will make you feel better to get these things off your chest with someone face to face. He may prescribe medication, but I am here to tell you that there are many natural ways to manage your anxiety without medication.
Medication can be a trap. It may help for awhile, but then you have other problems. Please see someone if you haven't already, perhaps a phsycologist. They don't prescribe drugs. Perhaps they can give you some good techniques to deal with your problem. God bless and realize you can feel like yourself again soon,