Children and anxiety

[momtogrif]

I need help for my 11 year old boy. He suffers so much from his anxiety and the docs don't think he should take meds b/c of his tic disorder and learning problems. We are currently doing a natural approach and I can see improvement but there are times when I wish I could just put him on Prozac. He has a very anxious brain that just goes into hyperdrive when it's bored and seems to just get stuck on the 'what ifs' of life. Health anxiety, separation anxiety, mild panic attacks, etc are all a part of what we've had to deal with. He has a counselor he has been to in the past but we haven't been back in about 8 months now. Just not sure it was helping since the anxiety changed so much. We're considering looking for a new counselor.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I just don't want my normally happy kid to be miserable. Yet, I also want him to learn coping skills so I don't want to mask his problems or anxieties either and that's why I haven't pushed for meds for him. I'm still trying to teach him deep breathing skills, distraction techniques, etc to help him overcome and fight his anxiety.

Thanks,
B

[northstar]

hi momtogrif, i'm sorry that your family are so stressed at the moment, it sounds like you're having a difficult time & i know it must be terrible to see your child going through such troubles.

i wanted to give you a link to a big post i wrote with lots of natural methods to help out with anxiety: http://www.anxietyforum.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4087

it might help you out if you're unable to use medication with him.

perhaps you know this already, but i wanted to let you know about keeping him well away from sugary foods and see if this has an effect on his behaviour. in the link above you will find advice on diet that is very helpful for anxiety and was the root of my own recovery from severe anxiety problems.

try to help him stay away from foods like sugar, caffeine, sodas (especially coke as it has both sugar AND caffeine in it lol), candy, anything with lots of artificial colouring, additives and e numbers. keep his diet as natural as possible, help him out with foods that will keep his blood sugars stable and hopefully this in turn will help his moods to be a little more stable. i don't want to offer this to you as something that will cure him, but it is important to stress that we need to have a good diet for good mental health.

it might also be a good idea to get him involved in some sports or activities that will help him use up all his energy in a positive way. this in turn will create good hormones in his body like seratonin that will naturally help out with the anxiety & distract him from the anxious feelings.

i hope this helps a bit, let us know how you and he are getting on :)

[Belle]

Oh wow, I feel for you and your son. It's hard enough for adults to deal with, I can't imagine a child to trying to deal with it. If your psychologist is not having much success, a change might be a good thing. A new counsellor can have some new coping skills and a different perspective on things.
Unfortunately, Prozac and anti-d's aren't a cure and sometimes lead to further problems, but that is up to you and your dr.
Is there anything he can enrol in like a sports club or music lessons, something to take his mind off it, something he will enjoy and have confidence with? I think music for kids especially learning an instrument is very sole soothing and a great escape and a way to express himself?
I think you're doing all the right things though, it's a really tough situation being a mother myself and I can imagine your frustration and heartbreak that he has to go through this. Hopefully with time things will improve.

[momtogrif]

Thank you both for your replies. As for diet: we stay away from all MSG, food colorings, and most HFCS(high fructose corn syrup) anyway. I do allow the occasional Sprite but we're not big candy and sweets eaters in this house.

As for sports: he plays competitive tennis. He plays in tournaments as an individual and plays on a team, too. He practices daily usually for a minimum of 2 hours a day.

Last night he was crying after he was put to bed about a picture he saw in a National Geographic magazine b/c it was bothering him. Then this AM he was crying b/c of a bad dream. He said the dream wouldn't leave him alone and that he couldn't stop thinking about it. This is our biggest issue. His anxiety latches on to whatever negative random thought he conjures up and it won't let go! We spent a few minutes this AM working on some breathing techniques and again I have been telling him to redirect his thinking(I know, it's got to be hard for an 11 year old to do) b/c his mind can't think about 2 things at once!

[Belle]

I know this is what I mean, it's hard enough for adults to re-direct thinking and undesrtand what negative thinking does, how does an 11 year old do this? So hard....
Has his therapist tried desensitising him to things? Making a list of things that worry and upset him and one by one over time showing him these things and talking through his fears and worry until he feels comfortable. When he was looking at the discovery magazine at the thing that upset him, perhaps you could sit through it with him, ask him what bothers him about it, how does he feel when he looks at it and explain it in a way where he will feel less emotional and understand it. Perhaps he will then be able to look at it and not get upset and learn a new habit where he will say to himself 'it's not that bad' or 'I'm no longer afraid of that'
I feel like children only by what they feel and react to their emotions, exposure therapy can be very effective in dispelling these fears.