I don't know what to do?

[momofthree]

I am sooooo confused right now and I'm just about at the end of my rope. I'll try and give you the low down on my history here but it's rather long. BTW, I'm 40, thin , active and have never had any health problems in my life.

It all started about 18 months ago. It was summer time and I was driving my car. All of a sudden I felt like I was going to die. :shock: My heart was racing I felt dizzy.. real odd. So, I went staight home. I tried to chill out but it would not stop so I drove myself to the ER. They did all the standard tests EKG, blood work and so forth.. and said well it looks like you've had yourself a panic attack. So, they sent me home with some xanax to take as needed. That was the day I quit drinking. Gave up a 15 year alchohol habit cold turkey.. and my life has been a confusing living hell since.

I was told to follow up with my primary so I did. He saw the ER report and since all looked good said oh it's just stress and anxeity. Go home and take lexapro.. and take the daily xanax as perscibed. So, I did take the xanax but was stubborn and would not give into the anti-D. So, after a few days the symptoms came back. Racing heart out of the blue, dizzy.. very odd feelings. So, I go back to my primary. He then said perhaps you need to be checked by a cardio doc. So, off to the cardio doc. Where they put me through (over 6 months) 2 stress tests, 2 echos, 1 nuclear scan, pee tests to check my hormones, bloodwork, a holter monitor and a 3 week event monitor.. All came back with a few normal extra beats and some sinus tach.. they call IST. Well that freaked me out. Oh and I also had a tilt table test and that was negative.So then I was sent to a specialist who deals with the electical pathways of the heart. He had me on a monitor for 6 weeks it watched my heart for 24/7. That came back good. My heart rate was within normal range.. and the palps I felt were just a few PVCS, nothing to worry over. OK. so, I'm ok with the heart stuff now. But then why do I still have sternum pain and a burning in my upper back? Who knows? I had a CT of my belly, and upper GI, gall bladder ultrasound and guess what alll NEGATIVE!! Oh and then onto the vertigo spell I had last NOV that lead me to the ER. I thought for sure I was done then. Well that was just vertigo.. and it has not returned, but after I had that, I had trouble catching my breathe.. so my primary orderd a CT scan with contrast of my lungs.. thought I had a PEM. Well, did not have a PEM and my lungs looked great all aside from some little nodule they found.. OK.. then came the cancer scare. OMG.. do you see what I feel like I'm going crazy?? So, I now have had this nodule watched for over a year.. and it's not changng.. so the pulm doc thinks it's nothing to worry about. I don't have to go back and deal with that for another year. Now look at all the radiation I've had that SCARES me! Now onto to the brain.

Strated with a bad headache last news yearseve... the dam thing lasted for a month. I finally had an MRI/MRA and it showed nothing. This was last winter. Over the spring my head flet better and I had a great pain free summer. Now, since 2 1/2 weeks ago I've had a mild headache everyday. Since the headache started the pain I felt in my sternum and upper back is gone.. seems like it moved to my brain. :? :? So, I had yet another freaking medical test today. another MRI. and i await the results. I'm scared.. and I feel like giving up. How can this all be anxeity.. when my headache will NOT go away. Oh and I'm still on the dam xanax 3 times per day. I wonder if that's causing all my problems. Help.. I need your feedback. Thanks.

[Belle]

So sorry your feeling so horrible and have had all these health scares :(
I don't have much advice really until you know it's anxiety and panic attacks for sure?
Have you tried a slow withdrawel from the xanax? 3 a day if they are giving no relief sounds to me it should be something your dr should look at? Headaches can come from stress for sure, all your muscles are tense maybe. Have you tried a massage, heat packs on your neck and back, a really steamy bath with some oils to relieve the headache? Excersise to relieve tension is also really good. I know it's hard but try to get your mind off what your feeling for a while and relax as much as possible. It might help reading as much as you can about panic attacks and anxiety and try some therapy if you can afford that to try and work through some problems, it can help more than not doing anything but worry. Having 1 child myself though, who has the time for all this??

I hope you start to feel better soon, I understand how hard it is.

[momofthree]

So sorry your feeling so horrible and have had all these health scares :(
I don't have much advice really until you know it's anxiety and panic attacks for sure?
Have you tried a slow withdrawel from the xanax? 3 a day if they are giving no relief sounds to me it should be something your dr should look at? Headaches can come from stress for sure, all your muscles are tense maybe. Have you tried a massage, heat packs on your neck and back, a really steamy bath with some oils to relieve the headache? Excersise to relieve tension is also really good. I know it's hard but try to get your mind off what your feeling for a while and relax as much as possible. It might help reading as much as you can about panic attacks and anxiety and try some therapy if you can afford that to try and work through some problems, it can help more than not doing anything but worry. Having 1 child myself though, who has the time for all this??

I hope you start to feel better soon, I understand how hard it is.

Thanks for your reply. I have been told I have panic disorder. I've just been stubborn as to giving into an anti-ds. I'd like to be weaned of the xanax first. I've been on the stuff for over a year now. Yes. Reading does help. I did that last night and my head felt great. I'm reading a book about health anxiety.. this seems to be part of my problem. The book is me to a T. :oops:

[Giants]

I am sooooo confused right now and I'm just about at the end of my rope. I'll try and give you the low down on my history here but it's rather long. BTW, I'm 40, thin , active and have never had any health problems in my life.

It all started about 18 months ago. It was summer time and I was driving my car. All of a sudden I felt like I was going to die. :shock: My heart was racing I felt dizzy.. real odd. So, I went staight home. I tried to chill out but it would not stop so I drove myself to the ER. They did all the standard tests EKG, blood work and so forth.. and said well it looks like you've had yourself a panic attack. So, they sent me home with some xanax to take as needed. That was the day I quit drinking. Gave up a 15 year alchohol habit cold turkey.. and my life has been a confusing living hell since.

I was told to follow up with my primary so I did. He saw the ER report and since all looked good said oh it's just stress and anxeity. Go home and take lexapro.. and take the daily xanax as perscibed. So, I did take the xanax but was stubborn and would not give into the anti-D. So, after a few days the symptoms came back. Racing heart out of the blue, dizzy.. very odd feelings. So, I go back to my primary. He then said perhaps you need to be checked by a cardio doc. So, off to the cardio doc. Where they put me through (over 6 months) 2 stress tests, 2 echos, 1 nuclear scan, pee tests to check my hormones, bloodwork, a holter monitor and a 3 week event monitor.. All came back with a few normal extra beats and some sinus tach.. they call IST. Well that freaked me out. Oh and I also had a tilt table test and that was negative.So then I was sent to a specialist who deals with the electical pathways of the heart. He had me on a monitor for 6 weeks it watched my heart for 24/7. That came back good. My heart rate was within normal range.. and the palps I felt were just a few PVCS, nothing to worry over. OK. so, I'm ok with the heart stuff now. But then why do I still have sternum pain and a burning in my upper back? Who knows? I had a CT of my belly, and upper GI, gall bladder ultrasound and guess what alll NEGATIVE!! Oh and then onto the vertigo spell I had last NOV that lead me to the ER. I thought for sure I was done then. Well that was just vertigo.. and it has not returned, but after I had that, I had trouble catching my breathe.. so my primary orderd a CT scan with contrast of my lungs.. thought I had a PEM. Well, did not have a PEM and my lungs looked great all aside from some little nodule they found.. OK.. then came the cancer scare. OMG.. do you see what I feel like I'm going crazy?? So, I now have had this nodule watched for over a year.. and it's not changng.. so the pulm doc thinks it's nothing to worry about. I don't have to go back and deal with that for another year. Now look at all the radiation I've had that SCARES me! Now onto to the brain.

Strated with a bad headache last news yearseve... the dam thing lasted for a month. I finally had an MRI/MRA and it showed nothing. This was last winter. Over the spring my head flet better and I had a great pain free summer. Now, since 2 1/2 weeks ago I've had a mild headache everyday. Since the headache started the pain I felt in my sternum and upper back is gone.. seems like it moved to my brain. :? :? So, I had yet another freaking medical test today. another MRI. and i await the results. I'm scared.. and I feel like giving up. How can this all be anxeity.. when my headache will NOT go away. Oh and I'm still on the dam xanax 3 times per day. I wonder if that's causing all my problems. Help.. I need your feedback. Thanks.


How do you feel about dying?