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Giants
11-09-2009, 11:56 AM
My anxiety is that, i some how lead myself to believe, that “I don’t love ” my girlfriend or what if i don't love my girlfriend, when everything else say, I do love her.

Now im stuck in these loop of negative thoughts in my head, that are telling me to eject from this relationship, that i "really" don't love her.

This is putting a lot of stress on my relationship.

Help please.

littleone63
11-09-2009, 02:27 PM
I know what that is like. I have been with my boyfriend for the majority of the last 6 years, and I have anxiety from time to time about if I really love him, and what if I've wasted so much time, and what if I continue to waste time etc.
I find what helps most is:
- Showing my boyfriend how much I care. By being affectionate, saying nice things (not very easy for me), sending him a txt telling him how much I love him, I end up surprising myself. Realizing how it makes me feel to do those things, and how easy it comes proves to myself that I do infact feel that way.
- Reminding myself what life was like without him. Imagining him with someone else, or imagining myself with someone else. I end up realizing that I dont want anyone but him, and I dont want to be without him.

....remember, its a good thing to feel that you dont NEED your significant other. But its a better thing to feel that you dont WANT to be without them.
....every relationship goes through lust lulls. especially after a long time when you love someone in a different way than when you first fell in love. just because you aren't getting weak in the knees when she walks through the door anymore, doesnt mean that you dont love her.

good luck!

Giants
11-09-2009, 03:37 PM
I know what that is like. I have been with my boyfriend for the majority of the last 6 years, and I have anxiety from time to time about if I really love him, and what if I've wasted so much time, and what if I continue to waste time etc.
I find what helps most is:
- Showing my boyfriend how much I care. By being affectionate, saying nice things (not very easy for me), sending him a txt telling him how much I love him, I end up surprising myself. Realizing how it makes me feel to do those things, and how easy it comes proves to myself that I do infact feel that way.
- Reminding myself what life was like without him. Imagining him with someone else, or imagining myself with someone else. I end up realizing that I dont want anyone but him, and I dont want to be without him.

....remember, its a good thing to feel that you dont NEED your significant other. But its a better thing to feel that you dont WANT to be without them.
....every relationship goes through lust lulls. especially after a long time when you love someone in a different way than when you first fell in love. just because you aren't getting weak in the knees when she walks through the door anymore, doesnt mean that you dont love her.

good luck!

Your the greatest!
Thank You.

I'm glad to know that there is someone out there that can relate to my situation.

Thank you again.

mamascrazy1985
11-10-2009, 01:50 PM
me and my bf have been together for 4 yrs we have two kids and we live our life as we are married! anyways its also hard for either one of us to give in and give the other person attention or do something extra special for eachother etc! just try your hardest to give in and do it!

brittypixi
11-11-2009, 10:22 PM
what i seem to find really frustrating is when im feeling good, happy, sure im in love whatever, i will read/hear something that will make me start questioning things again, and it really hurts to feel so great and happy and then get the doubts again :/

coops025
11-12-2009, 09:32 AM
I've had this also, in fact i lost touch with pretty much all my emotions all together.

My doctor thought this maybe depression which is understandable as Anxiety is toture and doesnt make you feel so happy does it?

Anyway when i overcome most of my Anxiety symtoms, slowly my feeling started to trickle back.

markko
11-13-2009, 12:08 PM
Hi,

For me it is something I recognise as a depression symptom. I even have the feeling that I don't really love my parents either and that when they are gone I probably won't cry.

For me, having this lack of love and interest in life in general is a symptom and I accept it as only that.

Markko

Nicoled4181
02-12-2010, 11:41 AM
I just read this post and I wanted to comment and say that this is exactly how I've been feeling lately. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months, but we've been best friends for almost 5 years. Lately I have horrible anxiety and am always questioning whether I really am in love and if this relationship is the best thing for me. The problem is that when I think about it rationally, I obviously do want to be with him - he's amazing, friendly, patient, thoughtful, supportive,etc.. But for whatever reason I can't make the panicky feeling go away when I think about it and it has started to affect our relationship. It also makes me pull away from anything physical because I get too anxious, or I feel like my lack of excitement means I don't enjoy it. I have been feeling a lack of excitement for a lot of things lately, so I don't believe that it's just him, but the anxiety is at its worst when I think about our relationship. Not sure if that's because it's not "right" for me, or because I let the thoughts get to me and maybe am a bit depressed.

I have been seeing a therapist for about a month now and am not taking meds, but I did just start taking St John's Wort. I am curious to know how your stories turned out or if there is anything you have found helpful that you could share.