How do I explain anxiety attacks to my girlfriend?

[Jake8888]

I get anxiety attacks quite often and a lot of times my girlfriend will see them happen and when I get them I can't hardly speak because my mind is freaking out and it's hard to breath so I'm taking deep breaths an I get kind of on edge (crabby) but she doesn't understand what's going on and looks at me like I'm crazy and that makes me feel even worse inside I know she loves me but she just don't understand can anyone give me advice on how to explain this to her? Iv tried to before but she still don't get it thanks input is very appreciated

,Jake


"today is the tommorrow that we worried about yesterday"

[magister_perotinus]

Describing an anxiety attack to someone who's never had one is difficult. An anxiety attack is a pretty unique experience and there isn't much to compare it to.

She should understand that panic can come without an obvious cause. My ex used to think that she was either causing my attacks, or else she wasn't doing what she should have been doing to help me. That was difficult, because of course she wasn't causing them, and there was really no way she could get through to me if I was having a really hard time. More often than not she would get almost as scared as I was because she didn't know what was happening.

I wouldn't necessarily try to get into describing what it's like to have an attack. I would go through the wikipedia page on panic attacks with her. It's a pretty good entry as far as wikipedia goes, and there's a lot of good information in there. It would probably do a lot to help her understand what attacks are all about. It's probably better than trying to explain what it's like to have feelings of impending doom, or feelings of "Oh God, my head is going to explode."

I hope this helps.

[mamascrazy1985]

its hard to explain anxiety to someone who has never experienced it why do u think u found your self here! start with some one who wont judge you like you best friend! thats what i did and then just started searching for answers to all my problems and guess what i am okay! i made it this far (9 months) med free with minor issue! good luck to you

[dimspace]

the way i explained it to the wife...

me: imagine being scared
her: of what
me: everything
her: but we are just sitting here
me: so be scared of sitting
her: why
me: you could die
her: of what
me: i dont know, but your scared still
her: well im not really scared, a bit annoyed perhaps
me: annoyed or tense, maybe youre ill
her: hang on let me sip my tea, and im not ill
me: be scared of sipping your tea
her: Why..
me: you could choke
her: choke, on my tea
Me: yep, or spill it and scald yourself, the handle could fall off, and the cup could land on one of the cats and kill them, you could burn your throat and need an operation..maybe you put medicine in instead of sugar by mistake and will poison yourself
her: ok, i will just sit here, doing nothing
me: your breathing
her: well obviously
me: ok be scared of breathing, imagine your breathing is irregular, your frightened your breathing might just stop
her: but thats just silly, my breathing is fine
me: what about your heart
her: its beating
me: yes, but too fast, too slow, maybe your going to have a heart attack, what if you are, what if it just stops all of a sudden
her: OK, youre scaring me now
me: see, youre scared too, let me feel your head, oh god youre all hot
her: thats just cos im sat to close to the fire
me: what if its not, maybe its a fever, bird flu, mengingitis, something the doctors dont even know about
her: ok, youre giving me a headache now
me: me giving you a headache, its not me, brain tumour, blood clot, maybe, but not me
her: ok.. this is silly, you should just relex
Me: i cant, im scared
her: of relaxing...? thats silly just lie down, relax and go to sleep
me: what if i fall asleep and dont wake up
her: you wont thats even more silly,
me: i cant sleep
her: well take a sleeping tablet
me: what if i take too many and die
her: you wont, just take one, you wont take too many
me: but what if i wake up in the night, forget ive taken one and take another one, and never wake up
her: ok will give you one and hide the rest
me: ok... but what if im allergic.. read the side effects to me
her: ok.. drowsiness, blurred vision
me: oh god... i dont want blurred vision.. what if im blinded..
her: you wont be blinded... nausea, dizzyness, nervousness...
me: nervousness, i dont wanna be nervous... oh my god... or dizzy, dont let me be dizzy, i hate being dizzy
her: oh my god... im going to make a fresh cup of tea
me: where are you going, be careful...
her: the kitchen, what do you think is going to happen to me on the way to the kitchen..
me: you could trip, fall, you co.......................................

after about two hours of this she finally grasped what it was like to have anxiety..

trying to explain to someone why you have completely irrational fear.. you know afterwards at the time its irrational, often you know at the time its irrational.. but it doesnt stop it being very very scary.. ive only really spoken with it with the wife and one very close freind, but the only way i can explain it to them is just to imagine waking up, and every single thing that day that you do, try to think of something bad that could happen as a result.. and do this for everything, from crossing the road, doing shopping, hoovering, right the way down to wiping an itchy eye and being out of breath for a second..

[coops025]

It's like having a heart attack but without the chance of death. Thats how i explain it.

Lucky i found that caffine was the major contributer to my panic attacks when i had them.