Anybody need to talk about anything and everything, I'm here

[Peter]

Hey guys, My name's Peter. I've suffered a nervous breakdown about 8 years ago (wow so long now) and I've managed to handle my anxieties and panic attacks on my own. Not to say that it doesn't come back every once in a while, but when it does I manage to not be a slave to the anxiety.

Anyways, I've gotten a lot of support from friends and family and I just wanted to give a little something back, so if anyone ever wants to talk or chat, I'll be more than happy to share my experiences and knowledge with you!

Cheers

[jimmc33]

I've just joined and noticed your post. I've had a couple of breakdowns myself (although I hate the word), and I'm well over the acute crisis stage, but still feel plagued by anxiety and generally not feeling comfortable in my own skin, if that makes sense. My concentration can be poor as well - I'm always distracted by a vague sense of unease. I was wondering whether you recognise these feelings yourself and how you managed to free yourself of feeling controlled and trapped by the anxiety? I've been seeing a fantastic therapist for some time now and she has helped me in many ways but I'm beginning to think that I'm stuck with these feelings for life (a thought which can set off another anxiety attack in itself!) She has told me to welcome the anxiety rather than fight it and I know this is the right way to go but find it impossible at times. I think I know the root of the anxiety but it's all a bit embarrassing to talk about to be honest. Anyway, any help would be appreciated,

Ta, Jim.

[angelmum63]

hello Peter,

i am on the search for somebody who has some idea about what i'm going thru and u sound like it.. lol. i can laugh now, but u know i have spent the whole day and every other for a long time now anxious about whether in the early hours of the next morning my anxiety will strike again. i am so over it and really need it to stop. i wake up anywhere between 1am and 3am... and feel so anxious.. it is like someone is suffocating me. i get all hot and pace around and try and talk myself out of it. i can't lie or sit down when i'm like this because it is like the anxiety gets worse. years ago i used to have what i self-diagnosed as panic attacks and they went away for a while... but the last year or so.. they have come back.. admittedly not as severe.. but the anxiety is there. i just want somebody to understand and maybe give me a hint of how i can find out what to do when the anxiety strikes.. or even to get rid of the 'anxious about getting anxious' feeling... it is like a vicious circle.. i am chasing my tail.. and i really don't know what to do anymore. i need for it to stop! can u help me PLEASE .. thanks for reading this, Diane

[angelmum63]

Hi Jim,

I just re-read ur post and was wondering how u go about welcoming (i hope that was the word u used.. sorry if not) the anxiety... how exactly do u go about this? - i will try anything.
One thing i do know is that knowledge is power and i am just trying to learn all i can... as no doubt, u r too! I hope we all find a way out of this terrible burden. Diane

[jimmc33]

Hi Diane, I think what I meant by welcoming the anxiety was not to stuggle with it more than anything else. It's only natural that you desperately want the feelings to go away but they won't if you keep fighting it. I know this is much easier said than done but I think it's essential to bear it mind. Anyway, rest assured I know how horrible it is, it's the worst thing I've ever experienced and that's an understatement. You could give this book a try 'At Last a Life' by Paul David. It doesn't exactly boost the ego but he does make some very good points. Good luck anyway, feel free to get back to me.

Jim.

[Peter]

I aplogize for getting back to you so late.

My way of coping with anxiety takes some practice. Now, keeping in mind that some people might need medication and some don't, depending on the severity of the case (or wiring of the brain as the case is sometimes) my way works if you've just burned out and aren't suffering from anything more serious than anxiety and panic attacks.

I over worked myself. I was in school and working full time at the same time. I lived off of coffee and no sleep. It took time, and happened gradually, but eventually anxiety, panic attacks and insomnia, as well as lack of appetite and getting easily frustrated with things all hit me like a brick to the face.

How do I handle it? Well, rest. Sleep early, wake up early. Exercise. Three times a week. Don't have time? Make time. Start eating better. You don't have to eat salads and tofu 3 times a day 7 days a week, but you have to cut out junk food. Start small. Baby steps. You eased yourself into this situation, you have to ease your way out.

You have to listen to your body. If you feel a bit of anxiety creeping up, quickly change your thoughts to something pleasant. SMILE. Fool your brain into believing you are happy and give it a few minutes. This triggers a feeling of well being in your brain. Think of something funny if you have to, like a joke. Breath deeply, hold it in for a few seconds, let it out and imagine all your stress and anxiety escaping with that breath. Remember nothing is wrong with you, it'll go away.

Talk it out. To yourself if you have to. Tell yourself that anxiety isn't harming you in anyway, it's just your body's fight or flight response doing what it does. Clench your fists for a few seconds, then let loose. Don't feel sorry for yourself, anxiety if a natural response from your brain when it believes it is in danger. In reality there really isn't any danger, it's just negative thought patterns forming in your head. These could be anything from thoughts such as "I'm going to die, what's happening to me??" to " I'm not good enough, I've failed in life!" to even "No one loves me, no one cares for me, I want to die!"

Most importantly, do NOT think of yourself as a victim or as a hopeless case. There is a way out of the vicious circle you speak of Diane, but it's going ot take a LOT of work. I'm not even going to lie to you, it's going to seem damn near impossible at times. But you have to make it work. if you feel the need to, talk to a psychologist. They usually help talk it out. Psychiatrists usually prescribe meds. If you can, avoid meds.

Guys, this happens more often than you think it does. Millions o fpeople suffer from anxiety attacks, we are definitely not alone. I get them from time to time myself, and after a while you come to realize that more often than not, it's usually something that triigers them. For me personally, if I get little sleep or am hungry I feel a little anxious. Remember, there are times when you ARE going to be anxious, like if you have a big interview in the morning, and that is totally normal. The answer is the same, talk to yourself. Be positive. Tell yourself that these feelings are normal, that it's ridiculous to be feeling scared of them.

I was fortunate to have family around me. My friends didn't really understand what I was going through at the time but when I explained ot them what it was (after doing a lot of research myself) I was able to explain it to them and they were more supportive afterwards. I keep a journal now and when I am feeling down, I write. I keep track, of both my ups and my downs. I see patterns now, and way I can avoid the anxiety. Make these efforts to help yourself and one day down the road you'll be back in one of these forums trying to help others!

I hope I helped a little, and if you guys have any other questions, let me know!

Much love

Peter

[Peter]

I think what Jim meant was to accept it. Kinda like feeling sad when you watch a sad movie. Let it be. It's not bothering you. Sure, it's uncomfortable, but nothing bad will happen to you physically. If it hits, think of something else other than trying to fight it. I put my hand in my pocket and try feeling the change in there and counting it. Try and catch it before it comes, which will take practice. the minute you feel it's about to come, think pleasant talks, go for a walk, or drink some ice cold water.

[jimmc33]

Thanks for your reply Peter. Yeah that's what I meant Diane - allow it to come and go, come and go, because anxiety attacks always pass, even if you're getting an awful lot of them. I agree with Peter, in that you definitely shouldn't fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself, but I also think you shouldn't blame yourself either - it is a horrible thing to have to cope with and I think it's important to emphasise that it's not a weakness of character that causes it. With me it's because I'm highly sensitive, so I suppose it's the down side of my personality. I'm waffling on now, but thanks again for your advice Peter, it's appreciated and I'm glad to hear you managed to overcome your own anxiety.

Jim.

[angelmum63]

Thank you Peter and thank you Jim. It meant a lot to me that you both took the time to respond. Besides my fear of anxiety ... i felt so alone and frustrated at what was happening to me. You both have brought me some peace... and a lot of hope. Thank you for that.
Yesterday I did a google search on 'welcoming anxiety symptoms' and found this:-

1. Why would anyone suggest "welcoming" anxiety symptoms? Anxiety symptoms are signposts which lead you to the true cause of your difficulty. They are pointing to the true reason for your difficulty. Listen to these symptoms and use them to figure out what is really going on in your life. They are a red flag, a signal for change. Something is not working and needs to be changed.

Anxiety symptoms do create discomfort, BUT once you learn how to experience them through, you will appreciate the real MEANING of these symptoms.

They are guideposts telling you there is something you are overlooking in your life...something you need to be doing for yourself. This is the first step to creating an anxiety-free life and a clear sense of well-being.
2. Step 2
STOP AND ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:

- Are you overworked or overstressed, not taking time to recharging your mind and body?

- Are you having relationship issues that you are sweeping under the carpet...and now tripping over.

- Are you sleeping less and worrying more?

- Are you allowing yourself to be victimized by others, without standing up for yourself?

- Are you eating the wrong foods...more junk food, skipping meals, rushing through meals, too much caffeine?

- Are you smoking, taking drugs, or abusing your mind/body in any way?

- Are you sedentary or exercising on a daily basis?

- Are you dieting too strenuously or generally pushing yourself too hard? Moderation is key.
3. Step 3
Heed your anxiety symptoms as a you would a red light.

STOP and contemplate what they indicate.

Look at the past 24 hours and figure out the triggers, such as strong emotions you were unable to vent.

Take all measures necessary to naturally heal an overwrought mind and body.

Use behavioral skills to learn a new way of thinking, reacting and living your life.

Use a neutralizing diet to boost serotonin levels naturally and ward off excess stress.

Use exercise to eliminate depression naturally and build a strong mind/body which is less reactive to stress.

The result will be peace of mind, higher serotonin levels, and a life which is much easier to navigate.

I'm going to try and copy both of your advice and keep it close at hand to me. Last night was the first time in a long time I didn't have an anxiety attack... and wow how good did that feel! It was really nice to get some sleep. I will arm myself with this good advice and hopefully when the attacks happen again I have the presence of mine to recall or read over this advice. Now I just have to work out how to get rid of this 'dread' feeling i get as the day comes to an end; being scared of having another attack.

But now because I know there are people like you two out there that are so kind to help it makes me feel so much better.

Thank you so very very much.... BIG hugs to you both xoxoxox

[angelmum63]

Hey again, sorry for being such a pain. i've been reading thru the convo between the three of us .... silly me is starting to get anxious already. it's only 4pm here... but the night is near and along with it comes the fear. ok... Peter, I was wondering about how u said "Try and catch it before it comes, which will take practice." .. .good advice, yes, but with me my anxiety attacks actually wake me up... i'm asleep and then i wake up with it... about 1am - 3am.... the last one lasted half an hour (i checked when it was over) and i tell u what it felt like hours. anyway, sorry, i have probably confused everyone - including myself - but i am just wondering if u have any ideas about what i can do seeing i am asleep when it happens... bit hard for me to try and catch it before it comes, if u know what I mean. I know i'm probably asking an impossible question. it is like i know i need to fight or deal with this anxiety about being anxious thing.. but i don't really know... or do i deal with the anxiety about being anxious as tho it's like the anxiety attack (tho it's not really that bad i guess... more like nerves which i reckon may be a big trigger factor)... i'm sorry i'm just anxious and waffling i know... chasing my tail when i get like this.. so sorry. :?

But i am trying to positive... and i have been reading over the notes both you and Jim have written.. over and over... so it sticks in my mind. i have even printed them out and if an anxiety attack happens tonight and i can't remember the good advice i have got it all down on paper... i thought all the tips were great and definitely worth trying.

Again i thank you for your time and believe me i will heed all the advice i have read here. Thanks again.... i am sorry for being a bit of a mess.

[Peter]

I pm'd both of you the post I wanted you guys to read. I'll try putting it up again later for anybody else who wishes to read it.

Cheers

[jimmc33]

Peter/ Diane, I've sent you both a pm.

Jim.

[Peter]

How's everybody doing?

[Sheargold]

Hi Peter,

I’ve read your post a number of times and it really helps. The way in which you cope is exactly what i want for myself. The way in which you describe things really connect with me also.
I was put on Antidepressants 11 years ago when i was 20yrs old. Since then i have lived my life pretty much burning the candle at both ends, I drank to much and didn’t sleep enough, i also stopped doing what i loved (playing football) and started doing what i thought i should do. I am constantly highly strung out and i think alot of it is old anger from some past experiences. Do you think it was easy to change your life style? Also do you think that doing what you are passionate about is the way forward?

Thanks for the good reading.

[angelmum63]

hi everybody,

I have just finished reading the book, 'Power over Panic' by Bronwyn Fox and found that very helpful in dealing with anxiety. Definitely worth a read! Between Peter's advice, various others on the forum, (hi Jim).. doing a lot of 'googling' about mindfulness and other coping techniques I actually feel like I have taken a couple of steps forward in coping with my anxiety. The attacks are less frequent than they used to be and I am feeling a lot more positive than I usually do.
Yes, I have to agree doing something you are passionate about (for me it has been getting back into my writing) is truly worth the effort. I know living with anxiety can be a motivator killer but pushing yourself and putting that effort in (there is that word again) has rewards worth reaping.
The best thing I ever did was stumble across this forum because the companionship from people who understand where u r at, the advice from people who have made the steps forward and the knowledge that I am definitely not alone has been priceless.
Never ever ever give up. I wish you all well,

Diane 8)