On the edge of depression Help please!

[Losingcontrol]

Hi everyone,
Finding out about this forum made me utter a big deep sigh, it made me cry knowing i'm not the only one having to deal with the hell of panic attacks.
My story comes in here:
I recently changed my school for another i have been dreaming of since high school
As much as i was excited to start this new year, as much as i got dismotivated and my life turned upside down when one intrusive thought got involved in the whole thing!
i admit it is not as dangerous as other phobia attacks i found out about through some recent readings, you may laugh at its "banality" but the proportions this matter has taken are really inhibitating me and putting me everyday in a gloomy mood hat is inevitably turning into depression.
It all started like this: I knew from a friend that there was a girl from our class who is a teacher's family member. From that day on, i fear i'd just blurt out at anyone's face that "teachers are divulgating exams to her" so much that i stress over my impulse phobia for hours!
I know that's totally absurd, that i have no reason for saying this. bUT THE THOUGHT got installed in my thinking system and it seems i can't remove it ever!!
The fear strikes even more in exams conditions, where i start preferring sitting apart from anyone, fearing that i'd just turn to someone and let the words come out!
Please tell me can i possibly act out one day? if i do so will it be consciously? and even if i do what would be other's reactions?
i'm fearing so much for much future, thatt i'm imaginating the most scenarios Ever!

[magister_perotinus]

I don't think you'll really lose control. A fear of losing control is very common among people who suffer from anxiety/panic attacks. I'm sure most of the people on this forum know the thoughts you described. I know I do. Also, intrusive thoughts that you feel you can't put out of your mind are very common, and I think most people here are probably familiar with that too. Here's a short little blurb I found about it.


In a crowd or group, you may feel that you will do something to make you feel embarrassed like passing out, vomiting, gagging, stumbling and so on. You may feel that you might not be able to control your body or what you'll say. You may become very self-conscious among people.

You may also feel like you are going to loose control of your faculties, abilities, or even reality. While you never do lose control, the fear of it continues and may even cause panic attacks.


I hope you're able to learn how to talk back to your fear and disarm it. Just notice when you're feeling that way, study yourself, think critically about your anxieties and thoughts, and realize that your mind is overreacting to a problem that may not even exist at all.

[Losingcontrol]

Thanks a lot for your answer magister!
I've been trying some of the tips you talked about lately, but trying to analyze my thoughts or adopting a critical attitude towards seems to give them even more strength! And that's really confusing me.
i've developed gradual awareness of my phobia, i know that these thoughts really make no sense.
i've got all the keys for a prompt recovery but i just can retrieve my normal state of mind.
Have you been dealing with impulse phobia yourself? in case u did, what did you try to get over it.
I'd be thankful to anyone willing to help me get through this nightmare
Regards,

[danstelter]

Thoughts like these can be consistent with OCD. I wasn't aware until recently that OCD can have a part where people have intrusive thoughts that are bizarre (much like yours) and bothersome, and they can be very disturbing.

The best treatment for any anxiety disorder, including OCD, is therapy and medication, and ideally you will be able to go off the medication in the long run after you have learned to manage your thoughts more effectively. I have also found that simply talking about the thoughts, like you are doing, exercising regularly, eating an anxiety-reducing diet, and keeping a journal really help to lower anxiety when all are used in combination.

Good lulck and let us know if you have further questions!

[Losingcontrol]

What you said about keeping a journal and talking about the thoughts is very true!
Until this time, i've never dared talking to anyone about my trouble.
Writing about it here for the first time along with keeping a journal was an indeniable source of relief, at least for the past couple of days.
I don't wanna convince myself with the necessity of going through therapy!
Can my meds free efforts be rewarding in the long run? can't i just deal with it on my own?

[RammerJammer21]

What you said about keeping a journal and talking about the thoughts is very true!
Until this time, i've never dared talking to anyone about my trouble.
Writing about it here for the first time along with keeping a journal was an indeniable source of relief, at least for the past couple of days.
I don't wanna convince myself with the necessity of going through therapy!
Can my meds free efforts be rewarding in the long run? can't i just deal with it on my own?Losingcontrol,

That depends on you. I feel like there are people that can deal with their issues med free and others that cannot. It depends on the severity of the situation. I don't specifically know about anxiety related to intrusive thoughts, but I do know about anxiety (and bad depression) related to feeling like I am losing control of mind due to panic and anxiety. For me, I feel like I needed meds because I got really bad really quickly and the medication helped bring me out of a pretty severe depressive episode to the point where I am now...which is almost back to normal. From here, I am using self-help therapy and talk therapy to hopefully be able to wean off of the medication.

If your fear is singular to that one instance of obsessing over blurting out in class, you sound like someone who could conquer this without medication. That said, don't feel defeated about taking medication. You don't have to be on it the rest of your life. For many people, medicine simply helps put them in a position to be better able to treat themselves therapeutically. You do not want to find yourself battling crippling depression just because you want to go at it by yourself without medication.

[Robbed]

The best treatment for any anxiety disorder, including OCD, is therapy and MEDICATION, and ideally you will be able to go off the medication in the long run after you have learned to manage your thoughts more effectively.


You do not want to find yourself battling crippling depression just because you want to go at it by yourself without medication.

I, of course, disagree about medication being the 'best treatment', or even being a part of the best treatment. As I always say, taking medication has LOTS of pitfalls (cost, side effects, dependency, potential long-term harm, etc). And it often isn't very effective for MANY people in the first place. I think that it should be looked at as a treatment of last resort rather than something which everybody who has anxiety should start taking from the get-go. ESPECIALLY if we are talking about taking medication daily (vs, say, taking an occasional sleeping pill to deal with anxiety-related insomnia). The fact of the matter is that most people with anxiety disorder don't need to take medications like antidepressants, and are probably better off staying away from them. This is particularly true with milder cases of anxiety, in which case the complications and side effects of medications can potentially be worse than the anxiety disorder itself.

Now I'm not saying that you should never even think of taking medication. Rather, it is not the first thing you should run to. Also, you should NEVER take it because someone tells you that you MUST for your own good, or that you can't or won't recover otherwise.

[Losingcontrol]

Now I'm not saying that you should never even think of taking medication. Rather, it is not the first thing you should run to. Also, you should NEVER take it because someone tells you that you MUST for your own good, or that you can't or won't recover otherwise.

You're answer is really reassuring Robbed!
I really needed someone to confirm my thinking of medicines as being the last resort i should run to.
I do know now that i've got the key to my own recovery.
Many thanks :)

[ImHereForYou]

Hi Losingcontrol,

I absolutely agree with Robbed in this situation. Medication should be the absolutely last resort.

There are so many ways that you can deal with this.. For example, you could see someone that helps you with your thoughts eg. Cognitive Behavior therapist or you could do something that reduces heat in the system (We view excess overriding thoughts as excess heat in the system).

I wonder if you get hot at night?..

Someone in this thread mentioned analyzing the situation while being in it.. Well it is a viable method for some people. If however, it is not helping you then you could try a method which is totally opposite to that method: the distraction technique.

Basically when you are in the situation and you have one overriding thought it can help to start to focus on other things eg. what the weather is like, what the birds are doing outside, what you are going to eat for dinner etc.

I hope this adds some perspective.