ChrisMayo
10-15-2009, 04:02 PM
Hello everyone.
I've only posted a few times on here, and had a lot of time off because I was feeling better, but hit a bad patch again, and would love to talk to someone, or get some words of encouragement.
Some of you may have replied to my stuff before, so, sorry if i'm repeating myself. Just feels good to let it out every now and then.
Basically my current concern is Leukaemia. I've convinced myself I have it.
The main reason is that I've had some blood spots (not tiny ones, more like small red blobs) come up under the skin on both feet. I immediately googled, and panicked that bleeding under the skin was linked to Leukaemia.
I phoned up NHS Direct, and they asked me loads of stuff, and said, that it was very unlikely, and that I would have a lot worse symptoms, and that bruising/bleeding, tends to happen all over the body, not just in one place, so it was unlikely a blood disorder/cancer.
I also saw a nurse at the walk in centre today, and she looked at it, and said it was some sort of rash, and it should go in a week or two. I mentioned Leukaemia and she looked really shocked, and said it definitely wasn't that, and not to worry, and if it wasn't gone in two weeks, to see my GP. (I didn't tell her I have an appointment tomorrow!)
Even though two people have said it's unlikely, my mind is telling me I definitely have it.
I have very thin skin, and I am a naturally thin person, so marks and spots tend to linger on my body and crop up all the time. I don't really, if ever get bruising though. Just lots of bites and spots, and sometimes cuts.
My continuous symptoms (that have bothered me for ages are):
Visual snow
Aches and pains
Tiredness (just annoying, not so bad It stops me from doing anything)
Muscle pains (particularly in my neck and legs)
Occasional chest pains
Occasional lightheadedness
When these things first showed up (two or three years ago) I had a full blood work up, and had other basic tests, etc, and was diagnosed with anxiety, and put on meds.
I then got better for a bit, (light headedness stopped, stopped getting aches, chest pains and tiredness improved a bit).
Then I came off tablets and it all got really bad again, saw different doctors, who ran the same tests (plus additional ones for HIV, Lupus and Auto-Immune diseases, liver, kidneys, urine, etc) which were all normal.
I was then back on tablets, which again made me feel a little better mentally, but was still concerned.
Then had a skin cancer scare, and other worries, which turned out fine.
Had CBT, which helped, and I felt more positive about things.
Now, I have stopped CBT and tablets, and now this rash has come up, I'm just totally spiraling back into panic.
In my mind I know things like aches, pains, dizziness, tiredness, have all been tested for, two or three times, and have been attributed to my anxiety (and went up and down, not got worse over time) but now this rash, has made me put all these things together, and convinced me I have Leukaemia.
Have already had 3 nurses say it is very unlikely, but I am in such a state.
I am going to the doctor tomorrow, and will ask for blood tests anyway, but I just want to talk to some people about it tonight, and see if anyone has had similar experiences.
Sorry for the long long message. Just needed to rant.
Thank you in advance for reading, and any replies would be great.
Chris xx
I've only posted a few times on here, and had a lot of time off because I was feeling better, but hit a bad patch again, and would love to talk to someone, or get some words of encouragement.
Some of you may have replied to my stuff before, so, sorry if i'm repeating myself. Just feels good to let it out every now and then.
Basically my current concern is Leukaemia. I've convinced myself I have it.
The main reason is that I've had some blood spots (not tiny ones, more like small red blobs) come up under the skin on both feet. I immediately googled, and panicked that bleeding under the skin was linked to Leukaemia.
I phoned up NHS Direct, and they asked me loads of stuff, and said, that it was very unlikely, and that I would have a lot worse symptoms, and that bruising/bleeding, tends to happen all over the body, not just in one place, so it was unlikely a blood disorder/cancer.
I also saw a nurse at the walk in centre today, and she looked at it, and said it was some sort of rash, and it should go in a week or two. I mentioned Leukaemia and she looked really shocked, and said it definitely wasn't that, and not to worry, and if it wasn't gone in two weeks, to see my GP. (I didn't tell her I have an appointment tomorrow!)
Even though two people have said it's unlikely, my mind is telling me I definitely have it.
I have very thin skin, and I am a naturally thin person, so marks and spots tend to linger on my body and crop up all the time. I don't really, if ever get bruising though. Just lots of bites and spots, and sometimes cuts.
My continuous symptoms (that have bothered me for ages are):
Visual snow
Aches and pains
Tiredness (just annoying, not so bad It stops me from doing anything)
Muscle pains (particularly in my neck and legs)
Occasional chest pains
Occasional lightheadedness
When these things first showed up (two or three years ago) I had a full blood work up, and had other basic tests, etc, and was diagnosed with anxiety, and put on meds.
I then got better for a bit, (light headedness stopped, stopped getting aches, chest pains and tiredness improved a bit).
Then I came off tablets and it all got really bad again, saw different doctors, who ran the same tests (plus additional ones for HIV, Lupus and Auto-Immune diseases, liver, kidneys, urine, etc) which were all normal.
I was then back on tablets, which again made me feel a little better mentally, but was still concerned.
Then had a skin cancer scare, and other worries, which turned out fine.
Had CBT, which helped, and I felt more positive about things.
Now, I have stopped CBT and tablets, and now this rash has come up, I'm just totally spiraling back into panic.
In my mind I know things like aches, pains, dizziness, tiredness, have all been tested for, two or three times, and have been attributed to my anxiety (and went up and down, not got worse over time) but now this rash, has made me put all these things together, and convinced me I have Leukaemia.
Have already had 3 nurses say it is very unlikely, but I am in such a state.
I am going to the doctor tomorrow, and will ask for blood tests anyway, but I just want to talk to some people about it tonight, and see if anyone has had similar experiences.
Sorry for the long long message. Just needed to rant.
Thank you in advance for reading, and any replies would be great.
Chris xx