Can Depression and Anxiety Make Me a Better Person?

[kwhite521]

As the commercial says, "Depression hurts," but is it possible we can become better people because of it? I contend that we can, but it takes the right attitude and an unshakable faith in a better future. Carrying oneself in a dignified manner, despite the pain we feel while coping with the effects of anxiety and depression, can prepare us for the future we so desperately want. Despite the way we feel we must always remember that we are bigger than than this illness, and in time it will end. And after it does, we are going to have to look ourselves in the mirror and evaluate how we handled our adversity. What image do you want staring back at you?

I wasn't always so confident. Not so long ago I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I would be sick forever, and my life would continue to fall apart. I split my time between coping with anxiety and depression, sometimes both, and I wore my misery on my sleeve for everyone to see. If I was going to be miserable I was going to make damn sure that the "healthy"people around me were miserable too. I threw a world class pity party, and I was the guest of honor.

One day that changed. My father, with whom I was not close at the time, came to see me and it just so happened that he picked one of my worst days. I began with all the familiar lamentations of how I was suffering, all of which he listened to patiently. When I was finished he calmly asked, "What can I do to help?" That question caught me off guard, and after pondering it I realized there was nothing he could do, and I responded in kind. He then said, "If there's nothing I can do, why are you so intent on constantly complaining every time I see you? What good has ever come from complaining about how you feel? Can't you see that the only effect it has is to make all of those around you miserable? Is that your goal?"

I was speechless, and he was right! All this bitching and moaning was repelling everyone I loved. They couldn't stand to be around me, and that made me feel even worse. What exactly was I hoping to accomplish by making everyone around me miserable?

Before my Father left he said, "Your life is going to be judged on what you do from here. Let go of the past, learn from it but let go."

I can't say that this advice totally cured me from my complaining addiction, but I did admit I had a problem and have since lived quite differently. I still have symptoms from time to time, but I don't feel the need to let everyone know. When I do suffer, I suffer with dignity and this has made a huge difference in the way I feel.

[hesson81]

I do think that Depression and Anxiety can make you a better person. In fact I think that's your mind and body's way of trying to seek health. They both were designed to be healthy, and mind and body will do anything it can to be healthy/be a better person.

It's a good thing that you were able to put yourself under a microscope and over come certain issues you had. I think what you were doing is something that is typical of someone that had underlying issues that need to be taken care of. It's so much easier to deplete the energy of those around you, and the environment, than it is to get well and gain your own positive energy. Once the people around you reach a point of immunity to ones wrath, than the person is left to deal with them selves. That could be when the healing begins.

I have seen an all to familiar pattern with women similar to my mom, I recognize it all the time. This a female that has underlying issues, that happens to be extremely attractive. Think about the design of life. Being genetically created to procreate. We pick are partners based on attraction. I think what we do is perceive this physical attraction as a good indication of health. We sub consciously want to procreate, and we want a healthy person to procreate with with in the interest of our off spring. Well this female, being in her twenty's has no problem gaining the attention of her male counterparts. When you throw the concepts of supply and demand in the mix, you'll understand that nothing has to change in her because she effortlessy has the ability to harness attention and energy from male relationships. It's a huge false sense of security. As she reaches her mid thirty's, maybe even by this time having a couple of kids, and not having much time to diet and exercise. The body naturally goes flabby, and looses attraction. Things start to change, she has to change, only to get what she wants. By the time she's in her mid 40's she's left to deal with her issues, and at this time it's harder to deal with than when she was in her twenty's. The men her life or the lack there off in her 40's are left to deal with the person, and so is she.

[kwhite521]

Yeah I agree. When we are feeling good, it's hard to imagine that there are people who may not feel as well. Thanks for the reply.