New Poster

[KnowImCrazy]

Hello Everyone,

My name is Dave and it is great to meet everyone.

I guess I have a severe anxiety disorder that has been getting worse as I get older (I am 34).

I fear flying (14 years since a bad incident), Terrorism (missed an all expenses paid cruise due to this), HIV, and have severe hypochondria (Always using the thermometer). I am scared something is going to get me.

I have always had a slight fear of everything, but in the past year, it has been difficult to live my life. I can't concentrate on work and I am driving my wife crazy. My life is also completely limited due to this disease.

I don't know where else to turn as I am going to a therapist and am on Zoloft (which is doing nothing). I work out everyday and eat right and nothing seems to help.

Recently, I have become more and more depressed about the situation as I do not have a life.

I didn't know where else to turn, so I am here.

Thank you for reading and I am looking forward to meeting all of you.

[soshy]

Hi Dave, and welcome to the Forum. I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. Anxiety is such a terrible thing; being scared all the time. You can get better - I did, and I was a complete mess...house bound and panicking everyday :shock: .

I can really relate to many things you spoke about. I use to worry myself into a frenzy about many things and I felt like my life was out of control. I had many fears, and one of them was disease even though I've always worked in the medical field. I too use to always take my temperature; I use to wear out those digital thermometers one after the other trying to figure out if I was sick or if it was anxiety.

It sounds like you are on the right track by going to a therapist and trying medication. It does take time for the medication and hard work in therapy, but it's a big payoff :) ! I also take Paxil which helped me considerably along with therapy.

I truly believe in cognitive-behavioral therapy for the treatment of anxiety and phobias; that's how I got better. I learned how to control my thoughts - replace negative with positive. It is hard in the beginning because we are so use to worrying first and it snowballs. I learned to: STOP, BREATHE, and POSITIVE SELF-TALK.

How long have you been in therapy and how often do you go? When did you start the Zoloft?

You will get better. If you cannot believe it now, we will for you until you do ;) .

Take care - soshy

[KnowImCrazy]

Hi Soshy,

Thank you for replying to my welcome.

I have been in therapy for about 2 years and on and off Zoloft for about 1 year. I also tried lexapro for a while, but I wasn't crazy about the side effects.

I go every month right now, but I think I may change it to every 2 weeks especially now that my insurance is so good.

Right now I am struggling with this HIV thing. I went to a massage parlor and didn't realize until the end that it was an 'ill repute' parlor. When the girl asked me if I wanted 'happy ending' I said no, but I cut myself pretty wide on the way into the parlor and I am concerned that she may have gotten some 'stuff' from the guy before me into the cut and infected me if he was HIV +.

I have talked to several experts that say it is impossible to get it that way (the virus dies immediately in the air), but I can't get it out of my mind.

This is the thing I have on my mind right now. I know this will last for a few months and then I will start to obsess about the next thing and won't let that go for a few months.

It is effecting my life.

Thank you again.

[b1gd0g]

Hello Mate,
For what its worth, I feel your pain. Its anxiety over the things we don't understand. My fear of flying stems from not understanding how an aeroplane packed to the hilt with passengers, luggage and peanuts can get in the air and stay there, yet I can sit happily in the passenger seat of a Rally Car, because I understand it.

I too have had a time when I thought I might have had HIV, Hepatitis or some other awful illness, I don't understand how these illnesses or for that matter contracting these illnesses works. Two months ago I thought I had a heart-defect, two weeks ago I though I had oral cancer and if I am honest, right now, I feel like I could have a brain tumour. What does a brain tumour feel like anyway? Again, I don't understand this or any other medical condition, because I aint a doctor I suppose.

BUT .... (and this is what I know), every time, and without exception, it has been my anxiety that has brought these feelings on. I have never so much as even sneezed while thinking any of this, and countless visits to the doctor/dentist, only to be frog-marched back out of the door cause there's nothing wrong with me, just reinforces the fact that nothing is wrong with me. Perfect bill of health.

For me, not understanding something makes me feel out of control, and when I am out of control I get anxious. This then leads to thinking the worse and not being able to focus on anything other than the illness you think you have or the situation you're in.

Dealing with it is the tricky part as you do not have a doctor at your beckon call with a MRI Scanner or an Xray machine that they can use on you to test for these things as they happen.
I am not on medication, but I do talk, a lot, to my wife. She really helps to put things into perspective, particularly as she reminds me of the last time I was anxious. We actually end up seeing the funny side believe it or not.

Talking is good. Laughing is better. Appreciate what you have and not what you think you could have, and whenever the anxiety kicks in just remember that you, just like everyone else on this forum, suffers from it, so that is what it is.

Stay strong brother,

BD

[KnowImCrazy]

BD,

Wow, you and I are very similar. My wife has been huge in helping me as well. Sometimes I don't realize what I am saying or doing and she keeps me in check.

Unlike you, I understand the how flying works and how to get certain diseases, yet I ignore the facts and statistics and focus on the fear. It is very scary that it is hard to control.

Thank you for the post and you and I are very much alike.