Egoless and isolated

[un4ad]

I feel like my opinions don't matter. In social situations I don't feel anything but inadequacy and I'm immersed by the other person... even if it's obvious they're a lowlife or an idiot; I'm too concerned with what people think.

I've always been an individualist and free thinker and I see a lot of superficiality, deception, and flat out lies in society. And no matter how right I am, this doesn't change anything. And this is something that saddens me; I feel so isolated because I actually think about life instead of running around doing what institutions and corporations with their own interests in mind tell me to do.

I hate TV, the radio, and most movies. It's all fake, manipulative, and trashy.

So I'm always bored and I don't find happiness in anything.

The only time I feel happy is when I feel like I'm in control of life. But it's obvious I'm not.

Anyone else feel similar? Please no insults based on my skeptical/cynical (but realistic) outlook on life.

[koolaid86]

I don't know whether or not you'll appreciate this response, but I do understand exactly what you mean. I've spent much of my life being unhappy and world-weary. It's the price you pay for being intellectual, observant and logical.

I gave that up (to a great degree) the day I realized that there was no such thing as a concrete truth to life or reality. It doesn't matter one damn bit what life is really like. What matters is how you choose to see it. Choose to be happy - force yourself to be happy - and you will be.

Sounds stupid. I know. But I'm happier now than in a long time. I'm not fooling myself that life is any better than it used to be, I'm simply changing how I choose to respond to it. I'm taking control of my life back from the rest of the world. As long as I let them make me unhappy, they're in control.

[JasonTodd]

I agree wholeheartedly. Sometimes I don't feel like I was made for this time and that I'm "out of place". You have to find your own niche...I turn to art and literature to escape.

[BM]

I can relate, so I suspect the cause of your suffering is the same as mine. Can you do me favour? Do an MBTI personality test online, there are heaps of them, just google.

You'll more than likely come up as an introverted thinker (you first paragraph screams of Introversion, your second of Thinking). What you'll find is that there are a lot of people like you out there, mostly on the internet because like us don't like the world too much. Anyway let me know what type you come up as, we can go from there.