are you like me?

[moggy]

hi all
recently joined the forum but haven't really told you much about me, so here goes - I guess i've suffered from anxiety for as long as i can remember - the simplest tasks seem to take so much effort - i feel like my whole life is like being an actor in a performance - i'm trying so hard to get my lines right, but waiting to screw up - so i put in lots of effort just to make sure i don't get it wrong (cos that would be just terrible) - i feel like everyone around me is my worst critic, judging me badly and running me down - i rehearse situations in advance to make sure i 'perform' well, i'm completely focussed on me when i'm in the situation, monitoring how i'm doing and trying to suppress any evidence that would give me away to anyone watching (like blushing or trembling) - and then i review the situation afterwards and decide whether i'm happy with my performance. i do this in all sorts of situations, but much more if the situation involves someone i particularly want to impress (the 'cool' kids when i was at school, a girl i really fancy or my boss at work)
i constantly seek reasurrance from everyone that i'm doing okay and everybody else's opinion matters above my own - i feel like a little boy in a man's world, grateful for any scrap of praise i can get and scared to death that one day i'll let my guard down, get found out and be exposed as a worhless fraud - so i spend my life trying hard to be perfect, discounting my achievements and making sure that everyone thinks well of me - no wonder i feel exhuasted!!
so that's me in a nutshell - anyone else relate to this or am i one of a kind?!!

[Charlene]

Hi moggy,

Although most of us with anxiety disorder feel like your twin - - you still are one a kind! You are fantastic! You are sensitive, creative, always willing to please, never wanting to disappoint, always giving 100% in everything you do! You are amazing! You are very, very special moggy! These qualities that you have are a rare find in today's world. Don't ever try to get rid of them. Keep them. They're all good.

What you might want to gain is some confidence and raise your self esteem. It's hard to imagine someone with your qualities as not being the superstar that you're coming off as. And I bet that everyone you meet respects you and sees a confident person. It's too bad that you don't see it or feel it in yourself.

Seeking approval from others is natural. Deep down, whether we kid ourselves or not, we all care to some extent how other people see us. We do our best to fit in and hope we're liked by all. Having anxiety disorder only amplifies this because we are extremely sensitive, both physically and emotionally. Our feelings tend to get hurt easily mostly due to our misinterpretations of what others say to us or how they behave around us. If you could just learn to change your perception of what you believe others are thinking of you, you'd be home free! :)

[punisher]

You are not alone moggy. A lot of us feel the same way you do.

People with anxiety are also some of the most caring, considerate and likable people in the world.